It seems us 'ave sailed into the Bermuda Triangle,,,the crew 'as gone missin' and there be flyin' saucers about....

I tried stopping them, but they were all yelling "GORG". We forgot to refill are casks down in Aruba.

PC Guy 320 replies to this article - how many points did you get for it?

PC Guy 320 replies to this article - how many points did you get for it?

0! he posted it to the forums, and that is why we are on a pirate hunt, and now we have shanghaied another lass for the crew! Arrggg! Capt'n Starkers, the crew be coming back, and with casks of rum. And we have another one for merriment! Arrgggg!

I tried stopping them, but they were all yelling "GORG". We forgot to refill are casks down in Aruba.

Surely they were yelling GROG.....me thinks Gorg might be one of them strange looking grey fellers drivin' them flyin' saucers about.

There be strange things afoot in there 'ere waaaters....the bosun were tellin' me he has crop circles in the corn patch he be growin' on the quarter deck. And the lookout came down frum the crows nest with all 'is hair standin' on end....says he were buzzed by a flyin' machine with a little green man in it.

What I wants to know is, who wrote "Peace Earthlings" on the topsail....why the compass keeps goin' 'round and 'round in circles? We could be 'ere fer months at this rate ....years even.

I hug trees! Love em to bits

We got no trees aboard this 'ere vessel....will the mizzen mast do 'til we strikes land and come across some coconut trees? And if you hugs one 'ard enuff, maybe we can 'ave some of that coconut milk to go with the rum....I 'ears them Jamaicans love it like that.

I thinks we'll 'ave to promote ye as well...to Mistress of the Watch. Ye can help keep these scurvy swabs in line....there be too much wench chasin' and rum drinkin' goin' on and not enough sail hoistin' or bilge pumpin'. I'll give ye me flintlock and cat o' nine tails, the plank as well....seein' as how that Fuzzy feller not be usin' it proper.

0! he posted it to the forums, and that is why we are on a pirate hunt, and now we have shanghaied another lass for the crew! Arrggg! Capt'n Starkers, the crew be coming back, and with casks of rum. And we have another one for merriment! Arrgggg!

And a merry mate I'll be!

We got no trees aboard this 'ere vessel....will the mizzen mast do 'til we strikes land and come across some coconut trees?

For sure Capt'n Strark, as there'll be no milk from me!

I'll give ye me flintlock and cat o' nine tails, the plank as well....seein' as how that Fuzzy feller not be usin' it proper.

oy now yer makin me day! bring dar der fool before me now, I'll string em up by ees toes, then tickle him til he screams! I'll strip his flesh and fling em to the seas!

Well, Mr PC Guy are you going to tell and let the cat out the bag on the points?

Well, Mr PC Guy are you going to tell and let the cat out the bag on the points?

We made him walk the plank down around Rio.

For sure Capt'n Strark, as there'll be no milk from me!

I were thinkin' about bringin' a cow aboard fer that...but these 'ere swabs be slackin' orf on swabbin' the decks and I'd be worried 'bout standin' in summat.

oy now yer makin me day! bring dar der fool before me now, I'll string em up by ees toes, then tickle him til he screams! I'll strip his flesh and fling em to the seas!

I 'opes ye be gonna tickle 'em with the cat 'o nine....there be enough o' that other ticklin' goin' on wiv them wenches and that scurvy lot I calls a crew.

We made him walk the plank down around Rio.

That be so...but I hears he were 'anging onto a rope the bosun fergot to 'aul in, so he might clamber aboard agin. If he do, us'll have to get Mistress Jennifer to tickle 'im 'til he screams.

That be so...but I hears he were 'anging onto a rope the bosun fergot to 'aul in, so he might clamber aboard agin. If he do, us'll have to get Mistress Jennifer to tickle 'im 'til he screams

Arrggg! That be why you are Capt'n, and me just a lowly mate! I likes your thinking!

Mistress Jenny, ye be up to a little torture?

I been accused by cap'n starkers of deserting my post again, I see!

I would never do such a thing! I was in the hold with three women, a box of hohos, my stash from last year's trip to Jamaica, and the last of the rum, which y'all seem to be consuming at a frenzied pace! I was protectin' the rum to stave off the DT's if'n we can't make port or pillage a cruise ship afore the men start goin' bonkers!

I been accused by cap'n starkers of deserting my post again, I see!

Aye capt'n starkers, I see'd im pee'ing off starboard, drunk as master Tim on his wee mums titties. I'll put the cat on im if ya please? Keelhwawling? how does ya spell that capt'n? (is Mistress jennifer a bit of an arse creep?)

I 'opes ye be gonna tickle 'em with the cat 'o nine....there be enough o' that other ticklin' goin' on wiv them wenches and that scurvy lot I calls a crew.

I'll be skinning ta 1st man e tries anything else capt'n tis the cat that'll be doin the ticklin round here!

That be so...but I hears he were 'anging onto a rope the bosun fergot to 'aul in, so he might clamber aboard agin. If he do, us'll have to get Mistress Jennifer to tickle 'im 'til he screams Arrggg! That be why you are Capt'n, and me just a lowly mate! I likes your thinking! Mistress Jenny, ye be up to a little torture?

aaargh shiver me (not so old ) timbers, i be trembling with antici.....pation, bring a jug o rum to still me beating 'eart, lest I swing ye from the yardarm!

aaargh shiver me (not so old ) timbers, i be trembling with antici.....pation, bring a jug o rum to still me beating 'eart, lest I swing ye from the yardarm!

Arrggg! I like this new recruit Capt'n! She be a lively Wench who peers to old her own! And mayhaps Fuzzy's duty can be given to her?

Now, off to Key west to Stock up on the Rum Rations since mate Gideon drank us dry on that last stretch!

I been accused by cap'n starkers of deserting my post again, I see!

So, ye 'ave bin down in the hold wiv wenches, rum and stash.....no wonder nobody's seen ye fer a while. Not to worry me good mate....at least ye were doin' what yer s'posed ta....cap'ns first rule be havin' fun. 'ere, do 'e want me ta pick up some of that Viagra stuff fer 'e next we hits port?

Aye capt'n starkers, I see'd im pee'ing off starboard,

I be glad 'e come up from the 'old ter do that....otherwise we'd be sinkin' with all that rum he bin stowin' away. Mind you, bein' the fine lady you are, p'raps ye shoulda turned the other way while 'e were doin' it....or were it the waft o' burning stash comin' from the 'old that it didn't matter

If ye catches 'im at it again, however, rap the cat o' nine across 'is arse...the teetotallin' cook's complainin' the fish we be catchin' smell and taste o' rum.

Arrggg! I like this new recruit Capt'n! She be a lively Wench who peers to old her own! And mayhaps Fuzzy's duty can be given to her?

Me thinks she be a fine addition to our fine crew....tho she not be a wench. Mistress Jennifer be an valued officer of the 'ighest calibre. And bein' that Fuzzy be busy watchin' mad dogs 'n Englishmen playin' cricket, Mistress Jennifer'll be in charge of the plank and torture from now on.....I be givin' her me thumb screws and toe clamps as well, fer use on them masochistic swabs who thinks the cat o' nine be a turn on.

If ye 'appens ta notice I'm not on deck as much fer a bit, it's cos I slipped ashore and got me missus out of orspital ta bring 'er aboard. There'll be times I'm tendin' ta me good lady's needs, but fear not me buckos, I'll not ferget or neglect ye.


And 'ere, if ye sees a feller that's a bit green lookin', it not be that new recruit bein' seasick.

It be one of them there strange types and he falled off one of them flying saucer things getting about in these 'ere parts. Now he be 'armless enough and ye won't understand a word he be sayin', but if he points to 'is mouth, give 'im some buckshot n' gunpowder ....he just be hungry. Just don't be lightin' any cigars near 'im

Me thinks she be a fine addition to our fine crew....tho she not be a wench. Mistress Jennifer be an valued officer of the 'ighest calibre

Arrg! I see, must not insult the crew. But me thinks you need to visit the other ship we have comandeered! Now we have a fleet! And the crew is growing!

Link

Stardock cannot stand to a fleet! We will have Brad's hide fore long! And make him reveal the technology!

I will Capt'n the fleet until your return! But first a stop off for more RUM! Txixt me and Mate Gid, we are getting low! But lil'Whip and the master of the Whip have kept the men sated so far!

They be great additions as Gid and I get more Grog!

Since me missus 'as bin aboard I've not got out me cabin much.....at her beckon call makin' cups o' tea and the like. Her wish is my command, tho I'd much rather be out rapin' 'n pillagin'....well maybe not rapin' but there be much booty ta be pillaged and I'm missin' out while tendin' to me good lady wife.


I sees ye 'ave all bin over to that other vessel misbehavin', but I'll have ye swabs know this 'ere Twisted Sister be the original....and she still be the Flag Ship so I don't advise ye ta be abandonin' her just yet. We still 'ave a few naughtycal miles left in us yet.

Stardock cannot stand to a fleet! We will have Brad's hide fore long! And make him reveal the technology!

Arrrghh, they might 'ave some marvels over there at Stardock, but this 'ere green feller's bin showing me a thing or two....like death rays fer when we broadside 'n takes over booty laden vessels. Now us'll have no fears if them navy feller sends a frigit or two...they'd just be more strange disappearances in this 'ere Bermuder Triangle, aye me buckos.

Oh, and if ye sees the lil green feller glowin' some, don't be alarmed...he be quite partial to them electric eels, it seems.

Since me missus 'as bin aboard I've not got out me cabin much.....

Ye be hiding a lady? mayhaps we have a mutiny on our hands! The crew be very rowdy, and wants to escape Ernesto fore it takes the ship down!

{Slaps Starkers}

hand off her to another, and get this ship underway! We be needing to miss them storms this year, as we do not want to be like A ray Nagin!

But I am appy to repoort that our latest member, Mistress Jennifer, has made sure that we be well stocked in Grog! Ye pick your crew well Capt'n!

We got no trees aboard this 'ere vessel....

Not even a palm tree?

Not even a palm tree?

They survive not well in the salty air! Are ye coming aboard? As we have a fleet, we need more hands!

Are ye coming aboard? As we have a fleet, we need more hands!

I don't know. I'm reminded of an old Saturday Night Live skit with Michael Palin.

Mistress Jennifer be an valued officer of the 'ighest calibre.

I think she's a mermaid.

I don't know. I'm reminded of an old Saturday Night Live skit with Michael Palin.

Then ye be knowing well! Be fun and rum on this trip! Not for the weak of heart! But for all else, it be a voyage to remember!

I think she's a mermaid.

I'll not be takin that icono, tis me whip ye'll taste! Fer a few days now me cat o 9 tails been starvin, she be needing some new flesh and ye will do ye cheeky scoundrel. Tis fer the fish to be in the water not I!

There be plenty fun to be ad aboard this ere bucket, a good hand be always welcome! Be mindin what the captn says an ye'll not be gettin the cat. aaaaaaaaaargh lotsa loot to be ad at Stardock! join us now!

Aye Capt'n Starkers - welcome back! We be thinkin ye will never be back! Ye sees the fleet be growing then? First Mate Guy be doin some recruitin, while ye be doin yer things wid yer womin. Be yer womin well then capt'n?

These ere drunken scoundrels are supping on rum, the food that be comin from the galley be grilled cheese every day! This scurvey lot be gettin angry! Ye needs be seein to him thats in the galley, give im to me fer the fishes!

First mate Guy be ye makin capt'n now and be takin a ship on under yer control? Tis time for a celebration then?