Okay, enough is enough. We ALL know this thread should not have survived this long, let alone 266 posts. And now it degenerates into this swill of Pirate-nese' that I thought Starkers had outgrown. (I told you before about being coherent or at least supplying a translator)

So I have decided to set fire to this thread! Yes! Imma gonna do it. But ...I am willing to be kind enough to share with you Starkers theme song to sing along with as it burns and the HMS Starkers sinks slowly into the deep...

Men

(Group of men singing in the background)
Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men...

It's great to be on a ship with men
and sail across the sea, oh,
We don't know where we'll land or when,
but it's great to be with men.

'Cause men can sweat and men can stink
and no one seems to care, oh,
We'll throw the dishes in the sink
and clog the drain with hair, oh!
(And clog the drain with hair, oh!)

Men, men, men,
We're a ship all filled with men,
So batten down the ladies' room,
there's no one here but men!

Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men...

There's men above and men below
and men down in the galley,
There's Butch and Spike and Buzz and Biff
and one guy we call Sally!
(And one guy we call Sally!)

Men, men, men,
We're a ship all filled with men,
You'll never have to lift the seat,
there's no one here but men!

Men, men, men, men
Men, men, men, men...

We're men and friends until the end
and none of us are sissies,
At night we sleep in separate beds
and blow each other kissies!
(And blow each other kissies!)

Men, men, men,
we're a ship all filled with men,
So throw your rubbers overboard,
there's no one here but men!

Amen (pronounced "Ahhhhh, men!")

Guy PC.......

GO WHINE SOMEWHERE ELSE  

(Master Apprentice)Po' Smedley August 1, 2006 17:04:49

Someone needs to sign on as merriment officer!  

Okay, enough is enough. We ALL know this thread should not have survived this long, let alone 266 posts. And now it degenerates into this swill of Pirate-nese' that I thought Starkers had outgrown.

But Po', the original thread hasn't survived this long....it died long ago and has transformed into something else. We only retain the title as an expression of what we're about...joking and having fun. Besides, it offers us a place to act the fool without having to hijack another vessel (don't want the expense or responsibility of a larger fleet ).

Outgrow my Pirate-nese...heritage? Now how would I do that? I was born and bred in the heart of pirate country and its in my blood, literally. Several of my ancestors were pirates....in fact two of them actually served with Sir Francis Drake, who was no more than a glorified pirate for Elizabeth 1.

As fer settin' fire to this 'ere vessel, I wouldn't do that if I were you! We got a couple of ton o' gunpowder below desks, not to mention the cannon balls and paint bombs. That'd make a fine ol' mess o' things around this ol' port 'ere, now wouldn't it.

Aye, me Liver can use a break. But then who are we going to get to swab the deck? The crew chants but 2 things. Wine and women! Not always in that order. Hmmm....I hear they be some newbies at Stardock. Real rubes! Mayhaps we can shanghai a Zoomba or his like to swab the decks?

Glad to 'ear you're givin' yer internal organs some respite! As fer who to swab the decks, well I reckon we shanghai despicable politicians fer that task, pumpin' the bilge by straw as well....we just get the wenches to crack the whips so's to get their first day's honest work out o' the bastards.

we just get the wenches to crack the whips so's to get their first day's honest work out o' the bastards.

I was going to say their aint no way for a politician to do an honest days work, but then you addedd the wenches, and that made me old heart glow!

I was going to say their aint no way for a politician to do an honest days work, but then you addedd the wenches, and that made me old heart glow!

Generally speaking, there's no way on earth a politician would or could do an honest days work, it'd be akin to a snowball surviving in hell....but I've seen some of those new wenches Gid brought aboard recently, and bein' a couple of 'em are built like brick outhouses, no pollie'd have the balls to refuse doing the work asked of 'em.

Shoot, one of them gals is so big 'n mean lookin' she'd put the fear of serious defeat into the WWF super heavyweight champ. Put it this way, I wouldn't wanna be in the shoes of the crew member who proffers unwelcomed advances in her direction....or the one who rejected hers.

Well, as I seem to be the only experienced professional navigator in this pack o' bastards, I'll sign on. But I need an extra ration of ale and rum if ya swabbies expect me ta steers yas a straight course.

Well, as I seem to be the only experienced professional navigator in this pack o' bastards, I'll sign on. But I need an extra ration of ale and rum if ya swabbies expect me ta steers yas a straight course.

Arrrgggg! That ye will have! Just stay clear of those wenches that Gideon brought on board! Captn' Starkers say they be real nasty! Guess we will have to get some more wensome wenches soon!

Just stay clear of those wenches that Gideon brought on board! Captn' Starkers say they be real nasty!

They wasn't nasty afore they spent the night in YOUR cabin, doc. I suggest we set you up with a REAL MD when we put in in Rio!

I knows a few wenches that are fair wit a drink or two of rum and ye knocks the dust offin their arses.

There's a fair wind outta the west, fellas...let's get up off our hungover rear ends and hoist the mainsail or whatever sail it is what needs hoisting and catch it! We cannot let this ship sail gently into that good night.

They wasn't nasty afore they spent the night in YOUR cabin, doc. I suggest we set you up with a REAL MD when we put in in Rio!

perhaps you are right. A date with Penny Cillan might not be a bad idea.

Well, as I seem to be the only experienced professional navigator in this pack o' bastards, I'll sign on. But I need an extra ration of ale and rum if ya swabbies expect me ta steers yas a straight course.

Welcome aboard me 'earty...not that navigatin' were ever a problem. 'Twere them drunken swabs at the 'elm, steerin' us back inta port fer more wenches 'n grog.

Arrrgggg! That ye will have! Just stay clear of those wenches that Gideon brought on board! Captn' Starkers say they be real nasty! Guess we will have to get some more wensome wenches soon!

Not all the wenches Gid brought aboard are nasty, built like 'incredible hulks' ...just take a look in 'is cabin an' you'll see 'e kept all the best, wensome ones down there fer 'imself. Me thinks it'll be 'im who's needin' a REAL MD real soon...fer a tonic to fix up 'is chronic fatigue. Told 'im wimen weaken knees (Rocky), but would 'e listen!

There's a fair wind outta the west, fellas...let's get up off our hungover rear ends and hoist the mainsail or whatever sail it is what needs hoisting and catch it! We cannot let this ship sail gently into that good night.

Oh, I sees ye 'ave come up fer air, then! I 'opes you 'ave the strength to 'oist then thar sails to catch that fair wind ta Rio. We be runnin' low on grog fer them swabs cleanin' up after 'e all - an' if we don't keep up their spirits we'll be up to our necks in pAArty remains.

perhaps you are right. A date with Penny Cillan might not be a bad idea.

Dunno 'bout that...if you don't lay off the grog real soon, it'll more likely be a date with Quincy ME.

Gonna slip quietly over the side 'n disappear fer a while....landlubbers to sort out.

If she sinks in the meantime...she sinks!

Gonna slip quietly over the side 'n disappear fer a while....landlubbers to sort out. If she sinks in the meantime...she sinks!

We will not let her Capt'n. Sorry, visiting with my son this weekend.   

I see she's still 'ere, then.....thought somebody would've scuttled the ol' bucket in me absence. But then, it seems, when I slipped quietly over the side, so did everybody else....the poor ol' hulk is deserted an' dead in the water!

Oh well, if that be the case, I might get meself on one of them thar luxury cruise ships an' take it easy fer a while....bein' waited on 'and and foot by some of them loverly stewardesses they 'aves aboard...and we don't. Bin 'ard work capt'nin' this 'ere vessel 'n keepin' you drunken swabs in line, so I deserves an 'oliday.

Bin 'ard work capt'nin' this 'ere vessel 'n keepin' you drunken swabs in line, so I deserves an 'oliday.

Not till we storm the shores of Stardock!

I do not know about the operators of Joeuser but many of the more frequent users support the FAR RIGHT and Bush!

#284 by COL Gene Fri, August 11, 2006 09:17 AM

Ah, Capt'n Starkers, it seems we have brought some vermin on board. Perhaps we should call the exterminator to rid ourselves of these stick in the muds.

Dr.Guy

No just a dose of truth!

Not till we storm the shores of Stardock!

Dunno 'bout that....fer me 'tis findin' the energy lately ta git outta bed....mebe I'll just watch thru me tellyscope from me cabin.

Truth is, I've had a dose of reality recently, the majority of it none too pleasant, and I'm just feeling a bit tired/run down and desperately in need of a good night's sleep.

I do not know about the operators of Joeuser but many of the more frequent users support the FAR RIGHT and Bush!

Me, I'm a supporter of the FAR EAST (Oz being very far east of the U.S. and Europe, etc). I also support BUSH...being the rose bush I nurture and care for in my front yard....errr, in the pot outside me cabin.

Capt'n Starkers, it seems we have brought some vermin on board. Perhaps we should call the exterminator to rid ourselves of these stick in the muds.

Fuzzy's in charge of the plank, keel hauling....'angings from the yardarm. P'raps he 'as a bit o' spare time to wheedle out them political thinkers to practise his craft on 'em....we 'aven't 'ad a good keel 'aulin' fer ages now, 'ave we!

Ummm, I'm just not smart enuf to understand what all of U R speakin of

Arrrgh! How'd that rat get on board?

Ahh, never mind...pour me cup full of another dose of rum!

Ummm, I'm just not smart enuf to understand what all of U R speakin of

Not to wurry...not too sure we do 'alf the time, either.

'owever, as pirates I think what we be sayin' 'ere is that we 'aves no need of politics nor Bushes on this 'ere vessel. We 'ijacked her to 'ave a bit 'o fun n' git away frum all thaaaat!

Arrrgh! How'd that rat get on board?

Me thinks I seed 'im climin' up the anchor rope durin' the dark o' night....'ad I know'd who it were, I'd 'ave sent 'em both ta Davy Jones' locker, oh arrrrgh!

~swings in off of starboard with a hijacked catamaran, well stocked with sluts, slave-girls, (and boys!) whores, hookers, prostitutes, transvestites, wenches, witches, fortune tellers, rum, beer, salt, sugar, tobacco, opium, musicians and games of chance~ Party time, fellas! (did you think i had forgotten you?)

Relief has arrived, men! The folks on the cruise ship are safe (for now!). I'll be in the hold if anyone needs me!