Santa...an Engineer's perspective.

I forgot to post this sooner....[silly me]...


SANTA CLAUS: An Engineer's Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Leggo set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them --- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, (not counting the weight of the sleigh), another 54,000 tons, to roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.
Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

V. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas!


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Reply #2 Top
You wanna know how Santa can do it?

Santa ia a 20th level Mage with 25 in all stats.
He has a +5 Ring of Quasi-pseudo-phasing-teleportation, which encircles him, his reindeer, and ride This meaning he can be anywhere he wants to be and at multiple places at any given time. Plus he can move back and forth in time at will(just in case he missed anybody).

And for his loot? Simple he has a +5 Bag of Infinite Holding

So there is a Santa. Hehe! Monty Hall Anyone?

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Reply #3 Top
Ok Ok Jafo, Interesting Stats. Assuming what you say is correct, just assuming mind you.

'Ande has to think out loud seeing he cannot type in red, thinks its a lot of anti Santa number crunching.'

How does he manage to be in every Mall and Dept. Store in the Christian world at the same time? Time Zones noted of course. Don't give me that bs about just a man dressed up, because the kids look at him and they know he is real. I choose to believe the kids.

Xmas IS magic.
Reply #4 Top
Santa was the special guest at the grand opening of a new strip mall in a small Maryland town around December 1960. Sky dived in with smoke flares on ankles. Pulled the ripcord, but got a streamer. Couldn't "climb the risers" to yank the canopy edges apart because of his costume's bulkiness. Touched down in the middle of the parking lot. Seems to have been resurrected sometime thereafter by the next year's Christmas magic.
don't bash me for grinchiness - i'm merely reporting a very young engineer's visual observations.
Reply #5 Top
I think the kids would say. 'Ok Ok Santa was very happy using his sleigh and reindeer for one thousand nine hundred and sixty years. Then some fool of a mall manager preying on Santa's very generous nature talked him into a skydive. Santa
having no experience in this field, but,(as is his way) wanting to please everyone, especially the kids went ahead anyway. And he came back next year. "Yeah Santa" '.