NOOBS PLEASE READ

AND FOR ... SAKE GET LOCKS. there are people out there that get beaten around on a map like cataract the whole game and dont take locks with them! -> that will cost you the game! seriously you will lose! and it can be that the only reason that you lost was that you didnt have a lock on you when it was neccessary! GET LOCKS! and use them on the right flags! (mostly portals) this can win you the game!

Lock the HP flag on cataract every 45 seconds and you auto-win. Locks are just another item that must be abused if you want to win the game, like sigils. For added fun, spam lock the HP flag AND use sigils.

Might want to explain what a lock is?

So, what's the story here? Virtually nobody playing online? I just bought with the $5 friend code special and so far the community hasn't been that welcoming. Except, of course, to take advantage of me for their win percentage.

And what's the deal with matchmaking? How is a noob getting matched up against self-described "top rank" players?

Welcome to the community!  So, 1 - congrats on getting a great deal on DG.  Its a fun game, but certainly not without its flaws.  The community is small at this point.  The flaws have unfortunately led to that, but as Stardock continues to market the game, we do get more new people involved.  One of the issues with demigod, which really isn't an issue, is that 1 person can cause an entire team to lose a game.  And as their are quite a few highly experienced people, if you join their game where they are fighting against another highly experienced team, you are generally ensuring that they will lose.  As a result, people host games with titles like XvX BE Good or XvX No Noobs.  Some people don't do this, but we all should.  For your part, if you are a new player, you should be trying to only join NOOB games while you are learning the basics and getting better at team play.  If there aren't any noob games out there, please host one.  People will join and you'll be on your way to getting more experience and presumably having much more fun than joining a lobby and getting kicked, often without an explanation. 

Matchmaking is, realistically, completely non-existant.  Our matchmaking system doesn't match based on skill.  It matches by who is on light or dark in the pantheon at that time.  So, it doesn't care if you are the newest player in the game.  It will match you with whoever is available.  Personally, I'd recommmend you steer clear of pantheon because of this. 

So, join/host noob games while you are learning.  Get some pratice in against the AI.  If you can't beat the AI on hard/nightmare, odds are you won't do all that well in multiplayer.  But you can even host 2v2comps games if you like and learn with another buddy online.

Thanks for the polite reply. I actually took your advice before I read it.

I tried to make a noob game and got to listen to people bitch at each other for 10 or 15 minutes about who should move up or down to make a fair game. After wasting most of my gaming evening waiting, I gave up and tried to add a couple of AI players. That earned me insults from the one guy who'd actually stuck around through all the BS.

So, yeah. Multiplayer == FAIL. It's a shame too. As the "top rank" player who whupped my butt said "It's a great game" and I would tend to agree. Learning on single player was a blast. But how can this game EVER compete (DotA, League of Legends, Heroes of Newerth) if you can't even start a game within 20 minutes? I mean, I'm a mature person who's willing to wait to get a better experience, but this is ridiculous.

It's all about winning with the online crow in this game Al.  You will find "some" nice people, and a few that may help you grow/learn, but the vast majority want to win.  Period.  Anything or anyone that even suggests or hints that they might not actually "win" a game will either get you kicked, cussed, or they will rage-quit at the first sign of a loss.  Even if your a good or great player, if someone sees your win rating is not high enough, you'll never even be allowed into a game most the time.

And since the geniuses at GPG decided ONLY having ranked games is the way to go, there is almost no way to "practice" without aquiring a high lose rating; meaning if you ever do get decent or good, you will rarely be allow into a game anyway.

As for hosting a "Noob game", that works half the time, the other half get ready for some very expierenced players to come in and wipe the floor with you just for some easy stat increases.  Heck, I'd beware of people hosting noob games, as half the time they are good players looking to lure in some easy kills.

Your best bet is Lan, if you have more than one computer.  Or a very careful screening and friends list of helpful people.

Fixed that for you.

You pros who like picking fights with 5 year olds have fun though. The $5 coupon was a good (I'm guessing last) chance to increase population. If my experience is any indicator, it won't work.

Sorry... double post.

This happens quite a bit too, but not in all games.  I really wish there was a quick way to get games going without people griping.  The community has had more than its fair share people complaining about balance.  At one point it was complaining if people played regularly on a team with a few of their buddies.  Even if the team of buddies was downright awful, people would often refuse to play with them and demand they switch teams simply because the in-game overlay indicated that they have played a bunch together.  It didn't matter if they were god awful.  And there's still quite a few folks today that go nuts about balance even in pugs. I don't fault them on one hand, because its not a hell of alot of fun to go into a game somewhat confident that you will lose.  And you will lose, probably not because you are lousy, but because one of your teammates will feed the other team. 

Perhaps another idea that might help in the meantime - maybe try 2v2 noob only games.  Less people to be a pain in the butt that way.

Your reaction to Demigod is the same I had towards DOTA several years ago.  Thought I'd never get the hang of it since the few games I joined were filled with assholes who were really good (or maybe they weren't and I reallllly sucked lol.. dunno).  I never played DOTA after that.  I've heard it's a great game tho.  Kind of depressing to just throw out a game because you never bothered to stick through the beginning noob part.

I decided to change that mentality when I picked up Demigod.  I was god awful in the beginning, but steadily learned, read a couple strats, and now I'm good to go.

Bottom line is.. you will never get into a similar type of game unless you bother to learn how to play well, which takes a little effort.  There are assholes in every game online, singling them out as the reason the game sucks is like saying Asian people suck because they have hair.  

Also if you are afraid of the "stats hunter", the people who noob stomp, just click on player info in the bottom right of the screen and it will tell you the number of games each player has and his win %.

to the point that you dont get a game going because of balance issues. if you say: "someone move up, someone move down" there wont be anyone doing anything. talk to them directly if you think you have a good idea to balance a game (pacov up, rawr down). well there are some who will leave or dont want to change. sollution: open up your own lobby... then you can kick.

sometimes the people just dont understand what you say. i dont know why (bad schoolsystem?!) but i met several russians so far that didnt even understand "move down please". so really: host your own games. they host their own "RUS" games. you wont have fun in these games because you cant communicate.

hey not true I've had fun playing with some Ruskies.  They knew a little English tho, so we were able to communicate.  And we had fun in the lobby waiting for the rest of our friends to hop in and play  I learned how to say "fuck your mother" in Russian but quickly forgot lol.

Fixed the fix!

Though honestly if you aren't a jerk and you actually try to get better on vent then people will probably play with you, also its easier to teach people when they play on vent as opposed to typing while getting ganked

completely agree.  Vent substantially speeds up the learning process imo

Fix'd

I can't tell you how utterly perplexing it is now with the stats. I've been playing the game since it came out, but I only really get a couple weeks out of every couple months to play. So I do everyone a favor and play in the noob games since I don't have a high game count. What I run into is people who have 0-0% who play like they beta tested and walk on myself and my poor noob teammate, or when I am actually winning the game coincedentally desyncs. The community here is full of extremely poor sports when it comes to noob games, and it is a very big turn off. One of my last nights playing I played in an all welcome game and my team won with an all RQ fit from the other team, and in the very next game one of the RQ's from the last game made the host eject me from a supposedly all welcome game (and his team) before he would ready up. I like this game, but this is the kind of crap that chases me away from a game.