Stay alert folks, there are some strange things going on.

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."
Ben Franklin

Beware..

IDIOT  SIGHTING:
 
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.  We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I  watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.  'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'  His reply: 'I know. I already got that  side.' 
 
This  was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the  opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. 

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a  1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's  not.' Four is larger than two.'        

We  haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT  SIGHTING:

My  daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk  a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.  She sighed and went  to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.  
  
Do  not confuse the clerks at McD's. 

  
IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local  township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't  think this is a good place for  them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

 
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco  Bell  
and ordered a taco. She asked the  person behind
the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry,
but they only had iceberg lettuce.
   -- From  Kansas City   

IDIOT  SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee  asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To  which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled  knowingly and nodded, 
'That's why we ask.'

Happened in  Birmingham, Ala.  


IDIOT  SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was  crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing  driving?!'

She  was a probation officer in Wichita , KS   

  
IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the  company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at  each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.   

    
IDIOT SIGHTING: 

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the  Dallas   County  Sheriffs office, no less. 
 

How would you pronounce this child's name? 
 
         "Le-a"   

 Leah??                NO
 Lee - A??            NOPE
 Lay - a??             NO
 Lei??             Guess Again.
 
This child attends a school in  Kansas City,  Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." 
 
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.


STAY ALERT!
 
They walk among  us ..... and they VOTE

:sun:  

EDIT:

To all that read this thread, there is no offense implied or intended by it's posting to any group of people.  I did not make these up, they were sent to me and I took them as they were intended, as humor and a light break from what might be a hard day for some of you.

8,134 views 18 replies +1 Loading…
Reply #1 Top

Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Nice ones! :grin:

Reply #2 Top

:(O :rofl:

Reply #3 Top

Yep....In the old days we'd treat Asthma with Aminophyllin....also came in suppository form.

Patient showed up in the ER with a complaint of shortness of breath...and was supposed to be taking the Aminophyllin. On closer questioning he revealed that it was after taking the Aminophyllin that he couldn't breathe.

Couldn't figure it out until he showed me how he administered the suppository....he'd put it in his nostril.

8|

Reply #4 Top

Folks, please make note of the edit to the thread. 

Reply #5 Top

hehe.:grin:

Reply #6 Top

i love these - i enjoy having a good laugh at others expense   lol  :rofl:

Reply #7 Top

Ah, a disclaimer, guess ya got YOYO'd:rofl:

Reply #8 Top

Wow I've been spotted...

Cool Philly LOL!

:grin:

Reply #9 Top

Folks, please make note of the edit to the thread.
End of quote

Philly, I think it's simply asenine that you would have to put such a disclaimer in. If someone takes offense then they are simply the type of people that the list is referring to in the first place. (the idiots) :X    It's nothing more than harmless humor.

Reply #10 Top

The Franklin quote ia all about why we have a republic and not a democracy. 

Reply #11 Top

Multiple idiot sightings.... just watch the entrance/exits of your government building... plenty of comings and goings there.

Reply #12 Top

As I have yet to evolve sufficiently enough,I too enjoy a giggle at the expense of the intellectually challenged.(much like laughing at the monkies at the zoo)

However...the stupid should be pitied at some level for neither intelligence(or lack of) is the fault of the individual.It is merely a genetic limitation placed on them by mother nature.Stupidity cannot at this time be fixed.

Ignorance can if the person is willing. :dur:

 

My own prime moment of stupidity came while taking a drunken pee break on the side of a country road.As I got out of the car,it took off in reverse,knocking me down and driving in a circle around me.(nearly running me over)

The door shut and I chased the car,trying to pull the door back open.Unfortunately the previous drunken owner had broke all the left side door handles off.

Tired and frustrated I yelled at my poor dog Rascal,still riding in backwards circles in the front floorboard."Step on the brake Rascal!Step on the brake Rascal!"Being a really bright dog I almost thought he might.

Finally I chased the car from the right hand side and managed to grab the only remaining handle on the car.(the back right door)Climbed in and over the seat,finally regaining control of the vehicle.Rascal looked VERY confused.

 

I still needed to pee but by now there were cars lined up both directions waiting to get by.(luckily not one was a policeman) :rofl:

Reply #13 Top

IRB...you really need to give up drinking....or, get a smarter dog. :rofl:

Reply #14 Top

However...the stupid should be pitied at some level for intelligence(or lack of)isnt the fault of the individual
End of quote

Agreed.  I don't it against any of you for being stupid ;p

Reply #15 Top

I don't it
End of quote
:-" \o/

 

Reply #16 Top

IRB...you really need to give up drinking....or, get a smarter dog.
End of quote

 

did give up drinking...dog gone...no doubt harrassing squirrels in dog heaven  :')

Reply #17 Top

Rascal looked VERY confused.
End of quote

No, Rascal wasn't confuseded.... he was feeling a tad guilty that he'd put the car in reverse, but he didn't want you to see that.

;P

Reply #18 Top

hmmmm...and I never even suspected him... :omg: