An' if yer mentions that Osama feller, he does all that, 'is lil green face turns blue and there be yeller steam comin' out of 'is ears.

The least be coming out of me ears be steam.

Aye, so where do I tell the Helmsman to set course for? Summer is over, and we best be on our way afore the waters freeze up Stardock way.

Aye, so where do I tell the Helmsman to set course for? Summer is over, and we best be on our way afore the waters freeze up Stardock way.

Tell 'im ta set Course Fer Orstraylya....we be comin inta some warmer weather 'ere. an' I reckon you fellers 'll like it downunder....so long as ye steers clear o' spiders n' snakes, crocs n' shaaarks. I 'ears some of 'em 'as bites worse than Inland Revenue and them Politicians who gives ye somethin' wiv one 'and then takes back twice as much wiv the other. We do 'ave one other dangerous creature, but I reckons ye don't 'ave ta worry 'bout 'im too much. He always be surrounded by security people, but I reckons they be there more fer your own protection, ta stop lil Johnny bitin' n' bleedin' ye dry.

Tell 'im ta set Course Fer Orstraylya

We not be besetting Stardock? Some of the crew be not liken that. They hear of all the fine women their, and of course of all the grog that Brad keeps in stock for his mind reading machine!

Twill not be an easy task, but ye be the capt'n. Aye, Aye sir.

Me thinks Bosun Gid as figured out 'ow ta git certain information from stardock ta prepare us better fer our raid in ta warmer weather, so I be 'earin, be tis true capt'n?

This Brad fella be changin things al l ta time, our information is out of date fer ta raid seein' as how the look as changed and all! We best be hunkerin down an makin new plans, what think ye capt'n and FM Guy?

Perhaps we could send Gorg in ta scare ta pants off all em fellas in Stardock? Then send Pecky in after all ta jellybeans!

Orright, orright, us'll 'ead fer Stardock first....but ta git there afore them ice caps sets in, us'll 'ave ter git Garter on them baked beans ta put a bit more wind in them thar sails. But ration 'in ta only one can per day....we does want ta keep them thar sails on the masts and intact.

Perhaps we could send Gorg in ta scare ta pants off all em fellas in Stardock? Then send Pecky in after all ta jellybeans!

Now, now, us don't want ta be scarin' them fellers, nor 'ave pecky attackin' their pink jelly beans, either. We wants ta create an alliance wiv 'em so's we can fight together ta rid the world o' default XP desktops....not ta mention gettin' our 'ands on Brad's mind reading n' surveillance machines. Fer instance, it'd be good ta git some o' that stuff inta the Playboy Mansion....ta 'elp boost crew morale when the wenches be on shore leave.

Don't reckon there'd be much point ta puttin' any of it in the Oval Office ...don't figure much thinkin' or activity be goin' on there these days - tho it could've bin interestin' when Clinton were in there.

After that maybe us could wander down to 'ave a friendly parle` wiv Bill Gates, ta see if he 'as anyfing we can use ta conquer the world, ta rid it o' Steve Jobs an' git Apple/Mac puters doin' what we wants, instead o' how 'e sees them should be. Me thinks Jobsy's spectacles got fogged up when a wench kissed 'im fer the first time back in 1969, and 'e ain't seed a thing proper ever since....bein' the pompous lil git won't let us put 'is stuff on our PC's. We needs all that stuff if us are ta conquer the world....so mebee we'll send Gorg ta Jobsy's place n' scare 'is pants orf....and Garter on triple rations of baked beans ta p'raps raise the roof some ta make room fer Jobsy's ego n' swelled 'ead

Orright, orright, us'll 'ead fer Stardock first....but ta git there afore them ice caps sets in, us'll 'ave ter git Garter on them baked beans ta put a bit more wind in them thar sails

Best be breaken out the masks as 'is wind be toxic!

not ta mention gettin' our 'ands on Brad's mind reading n' surveillance machines.

we best be puttin on our tin hats then! So we be surprising him first!

we best be puttin on our tin hats then! So we be surprising him first!

Never leave ome, witout mine!

Best be breaken out the masks as 'is wind be toxic!

Me thinks us'll 'ave ta wear masks and remain below deck while Garter the farter be doing what 'e do's best....we be short o' lifebelts 'an I don't wanna me crew gettin' blowed overboard.

we best be puttin on our tin hats then! So we be surprising him first!

It be too late ter be s'prisin' Brad now....apart from them tin 'ats bein' useless agin the Iris readin' bot in IconPackager that can see right inta yer mind, he be readin' up here on our impendin' arrival. Don't think he be too worried about it tho....I hears he be stockin' up on extra grog n' grub. As fer the Stardock lasses, they be orf limits to ye scurvy lot as they 'aves important duties ta be tendin' They be workin' on a Froggie Pirate detector so's we can 'unt 'em down an' scuttle their garlic ridden brigs.

Now I 'as ta be orf fer a bit...me missus be beckonin' me ta do the dishes cos her 'and be in plaster.

They be workin' on a Froggie Pirate detector so's we can 'unt 'em down an' scuttle their garlic ridden brigs

Arrgg, that be too easy! Just look for the whites o'er their backs with the yellow streak down it.

Arrgg, that be too easy! Just look for the whites o'er their backs with the yellow streak down it.

That be fine when ye can see 'em (and o' course it'd be their backs ye'd be seeing if there be a skirmish), but this Froggie Pirate detector be special....it can see 'em over the 'orizon, so's we can sneak up on 'em n' scuttle their buckets afore they knows we be there.

Us've got a lot ter thank that there GuyPC for....if it weren't fer 'is conspiracy stuff, we'd not've 'ad the inspiration ta be gettin' all these inventions ta loot n' plunder Froggie hulks, sack n' pillage ports of their grog n' wenches. Aaaarrrghh, the pirates life be a good one!!

Us've got a lot ter thank that there GuyPC for....

Aye! Let's drink a toast to the GuyPC! Hip, Hip, Hooray! {Hic}

Aye! Let's drink a toast to the GuyPC! Hip, Hip, Hooray! {Hic}

But that leaves yer poor ol' cap'n out...I be a teetotaller (sometimes a coffeetotaller) an' I'll 'ave ta celerbrate some 'ow else.

Ahaaarrghhh, I 'as it now! Seein' as 'ow me missus broke 'and n' it be in plaster her can't get wet, I'll 'ave a coupla wenches come n' gimme a proper bathin' wiv all them fancy bubbles them uses. I'll 'ave ter git 'em ta pay p'ticular attention to me peg leg n' make sure me stump gits a good washin'

I'll 'ave a coupla wenches come n' gimme a proper bathin' wiv all them fancy bubbles them uses. I'll 'ave ter git 'em ta pay p'ticular attention to me peg leg n' make sure me stump gits a good washin'

Ah capt'n ye be too late ta wenches ave left the ship an gone back ta LWs barge when we set sail fer stardock!

Sorry ta spoil ta fun!   

Ye best be takin ta long boat over ta the barge later!   

Arr, me hearties! Dontcha be a payin no nev'rminds to me. I be lookin' for me grandmother's locket that she lost in these blasted dunes somewheres.

I be lookin' for me grandmother's locket

Ye might want to talk to Mistress Jenny, as she is partial to shiny jew-jaws.

Ah capt'n ye be too late ta wenches ave left the ship an gone back ta LWs barge when we set sail fer stardock!

Okay then, Mistress Jennifer, so how be ye with back scrubs....and 'as yer any o' them fancy bubbles ta make the waaater smell nice?

Arr, me hearties! Dontcha be a payin no nev'rminds to me. I be lookin' for me grandmother's locket that she lost in these blasted dunes somewheres.

Oh dear, I wonders if that be the one I took ter Ye ol' porne shoppe ta trade fer one o' them new fangled six shot blunderbusses!

If it were, then us'll plunder a couple o' Froggie vessels an git 'er some better ones, and necklaces, earrings, brooches....some o' that fancy smellin' stuff them Froggies calls 'toilet waaater' But if her wants back 'er own locket, us'll go back ta that thar porne shoppe an' hock GuyPC's tinfoil 'at n' dark specticles ta git it back fer 'er.

BTW, Po`, it be good ta see ye 'ere! I sure 'opes ye'll be 'anging around fer a bit, us'll be needing that thar shovel o' yours when us gits ta the treasure.

Okay then, Mistress Jennifer, so how be ye with back scrubs....and 'as yer any o' them fancy bubbles ta make the waaater smell nice?

Ye 'as absolutely no chance capt'n, tis me whip ye'll taste fer even suggestin' such nonsense! Now be ye bendin' over rover, fer 6 o' ta best!!   

Arr, me hearties

ah Po 'ow ye be doin' then? Keep diggin'!   

ah Po 'ow ye be doin' then? Keep diggin'!

At is rate, he be in china soon enuff.

Ye 'as absolutely no chance capt'n, tis me whip ye'll taste fer even suggestin' such nonsense!

A back scrub be warrantin' the cat o' ten? An' me bein' Cap'n n' all! Aahaarrrgh, I know what it be.....you be afeared o' me stump, that be it!! Never fear me dear, ye'd ne'er git ta be orrrified by that unpleasant sight....me peg leg be too 'ard ta git on n' orf fer ye ta e'er see it.

Now be ye bendin' over rover, fer 6 o' ta best!!

Thank ye, Mistress Jennifer, I'll be 'avin' 12 o' those....always were a bit of a masochist when it come ta a few cracks aross me rear. That's why I be so mischievous, so's ta go regularly across mrs starkers knee fer a spankin'.

At is rate, he be in china soon enuff.

Now that could come in real 'andy! If us were ta fill the 'ole wiv enough sea waaaater, us'd 'ave us a shortcut ter sail down there fer some Oriental plunderin', sackin' n' lootin' Not only that, Gorg might git ter find 'imself a suitable wench ....bein' yellers not too far orf from bein' green.

Thank ye, Mistress Jennifer, I'll be 'avin' 12 o' those....always were a bit of a masochist when it come ta a few cracks aross me rear. That's why I be so mischievous, so's ta go regularly across mrs starkers knee fer a spankin'.

ooohhh aaaahhhh ye be incorrigable Capt'n!   

ooohhh aaaahhhh ye be incorrigable Capt'n!

Aaarrgggh, that I be.....but any pirate cap'n worth 'is salt 'as ta be incorrigable ter set a good example fer 'is crew. I mean, us don't want fer 'em ta be prancing about like a bunch o' nancy boys while we be a pillagin' them Froggie tubs, now do us! I wants fer me crew ta put the fear o' bejesus inta them Froggies wiv evils looks in their eyes and wikkid looks on their faces....so's them snail eaters be more concerned 'bout changin' their poncey knickers than firin' shots at us.

Actually, mrs starkers put me 'cross 'er knee agin last night....cos her found the toilet seat were still up - an' then I tells 'er I done it on purpose.

I be 'opin ter git meself anuvver spankin' t'night. I be goin' ta insult 'er cookin' n' say it be orf as I throws meself 'cross 'er knee....that oughta do the trick.

Ye 'as absolutely no chance capt'n, tis me whip ye'll taste fer even suggestin' such nonsense! Now be ye bendin' over rover, fer 6 o' ta best!!

Mistess Jennifer, Cap'n starkers be 'armless and ye has no fears 'as no need to be afeared o' giving him a good ol' back scrub...... that stump of 'is 'aven't worked fer years now, or so 'e tells me

Mistess Jennifer, Cap'n starkers be 'armless and ye has no fears 'as no need to be afeared o' giving him a good ol' back scrub...... that stump of 'is 'aven't worked fer years now, or so 'e tells me

Ah the good Mrs Starkers! 'Ow be ye then? I'm 'oping yer hand be gettin' better'er and better'er each day 'en.

Now the good Capt'n, who e be foolin then? Giv' im a damned good spankin tonight ' then! We can't be 'aving a capt wit' a stump that be not workin' can we?

Ah I'll not be scrubbin' ta mans back, i scratch nor scrub no mans back! Twill be makin' me soft when I be needin' ta use the cat on em!