zweihander01

Reply to Weiner dog! in Pets & Nature JoeUser Forums

OMG WEINER DOG!

Reply to Our house. in Home & Family JoeUser Forums

That is a really sweet deal on the Jeep. And nice house and all, very cozy. And you get a tree. I'm stuck in a row home. No shade for at least half a block, and I don't even have a fake lawn like some of my neighbors.

Reply to I'm mean. in Home & Family JoeUser Forums

Yay! Schools in! That means I can go to restaurants and other food places for lunch without dealing with bratty teenagers or stupid children! No angsty kids on the buses, no "gangstas" in stores, its great. What's also great is having a college that doesn't start until the end of the month.

Reply to The sad life of girl gangs in Misc JoeUser Forums

Whenever I see someone like them, I always think, one day they'll screw with the wrong person, and that wrong person will be carrying a .44 Desert Eagle. Its hella difficult to harrass strangers with a hole in your chest.

Reply to Escape from South Dakota in Misc JoeUser Forums

When I saw the title of this thread, all I could imagine is Kurt Russel doing another "Escape from..." movie. Although turning SD into a giant prison isn't THAT bad of an idea. Good luck in Indiana. Or whereever, I can't keep track.

Reply to Funniest Message on a Bathroom Wall in Humor JoeUser Forums

What are you reading this for, the REAL joke is in your hand! (For urinal walls) What are you reading this for, the REAL joke is in your pants! (Anywhere else) Jesus Saves... the rest of you, roll for damage. (Can you tell I go to a geek school?)

Reply to Unpatched PC survival time just 16 minutes in Personal Computing JoeUser Forums

20 minutes.... That's a lot longer than I would've guessed!

Reply to Censorship... in Entertainment JoeUser Forums

At least you don't watch anime. Language that people use on a daily basis....CUT! Parts of the body that half the people have and the other half want to see...CUT! Gay people with characters that are deeper than the tripe on "Will & Grace"....CUT! People's insides being blown/sworded out...CUT! (That pun was intended) I swear, I have to bootleg half the stuff I watch just to see the original script.

Reply to don't let me die in a funny way in Misc JoeUser Forums

Dude, I want a DBZ death too. It would be half a season of exposition, and then my death would take all of 15 minutes. Glorious!

Reply to Mullet Stylin'.... in Humor JoeUser Forums

A mullet is often described as "business in the front, party in the back." It occurs when the front half of the head has a (realtively) normal haircut, normally somewhat short. And the back, is, well, long. Ever see the movie "Joe Dirt," or seen commercials for it? The hair that DAvid Spade is sporting is a mullet, as is all the photos dharma posted.

Reply to Mullet Stylin'.... in Humor JoeUser Forums

My friends and I have a habit of yelling out "MULLET!" whenever we see one. This post just made my day.

Reply to Webcomics: in Entertainment JoeUser Forums

All I did was copy this out of my bookmark.html file, and added a short review. Vendetta - Good for some action, and weird humor. The art in the beginning sucks, but both the story and the drawing gets better. Konsekai: Swordwaltzer - Not updated enough, but really well done. Errant Story - A well done manga style comic. Fantasy setting, elves, psycho magic user, wisecracking familar. Currently in the middle of the artist

Reply to It's official - they finally got to me. in Misc JoeUser Forums

No no NO, you don't put dead annimals under the porch. You put ALMOST dead animals under the porch. Nothing is as mind-rending as a death rattle at 2 AM. And always file complaints about things, especially for something like this. Those things stack up. I'm beginning to think that we should relegalize dueling. Maybe then people would be more considerate of others if they knew that they might be getting the business end of a .4

Reply to Tomorrow, and I'm getting a cold. in Personal Relationships JoeUser Forums

Ahhh... Nyquil. Or as I refer to it, the "How fricking long was I out?" medicine. Well, try not to think about the cold. I've traine dmyself to ignore illnesses until they go away. Works on colds, not so much on ebola. Just find something to distract your mind, and don't worry about it. But, hey, don't worry about it. Just be happy.

Reply to Need some help with my washer.... in Misc JoeUser Forums

Do you still have the instrusction manual? That might tell you, and if you know anyone who does plumbing or other stuff like this they might be able to help.

Reply to Child abuse in the name of religion in Religion JoeUser Forums

Given a large enough text to search from, you can find pretty much anything you want. Your birthday, the Doomsday, messages from God telling you to nearly kill your family. By changing the search algorithm, you can find anything you want, not to mention ignore anything you don't like or agree with. But, this guy might not be the one "finding" this stuff. He might just be a spineless sheep, content to abuse his family and get away with it

Reply to Yet another reason I detest my neighbors.. in Misc JoeUser Forums

My neighbor has his stereo set as an alrma clock. Maybe not an alram clock, but he listens to music at about 4 in the morning. I'm thinking of finding some roadkill and leaving it in his mail box. And I do the "snooze dance", but I get up about 9:30 in the morn', so it doesn't bother anyone.

Reply to Holy cats! We're down to 2 days! in Misc JoeUser Forums

Who the hell says "holy cats"? Good luck with the move. I'm lucky in the sense that I've never made a major move before, despite being able to carry my entire life in a couple duffel bags. Life is a journey, enjoy the ride. Speaking of, make sure that the kids have fresh batteries for GameBoys/CDplayers/radios. Helps pass the time. And do NOT read in the car.

Reply to Limerick Review of Spiderman II in Fiction JoeUser Forums

Chances are that it was the one that went through the cafe window. Or used as another Doc Ock projectile. Now that you mention it, I need to buy the DVD and Pause/Slow-mo every time a car is on screen. On a side note, "If Chins Could Kill" is the greatest book ever.

Reply to Bad, bad, bad haircut. in Misc JoeUser Forums

I feel for ya, dharma. My barbershop is unable to snap themselves out of the half-centimeter short hair that seems to be all the rage among the neighborhood Irish kids wanting to be black. Or at least "hip." And I want my hair more longy on top, and short 'round the ears. I've got it just right at the moment, but in a month... I think I'll check out my Dad's barber. I was there once, and the place reminded me of a store that might be payi

Reply to My daughter is...well, odd. in Home & Family JoeUser Forums

Very preceptive, your kids are. And the great thing about poetry, haikus in particular, is that they don't neccessarily need to make sense. Haikus just need the right amount of syllables and needs to "sound" beautiful. Actual, professional haiku sounds so pointless and make little sense.

Reply to They can't read our thoughts now... in Misc JoeUser Forums

You have weird kids. Keep up the good work.

Reply to So long, Mr Superfreak.... in Current Events JoeUser Forums

Oh GODS no, please stop saying that,. It really gets annoying after a while.

Reply to Optomism, Pessimism and Realism. in Misc JoeUser Forums

I don't see the glass as half full or half empty. I keep the other half in a redundant glass.

Reply to A small rant about roadwork and morons with flags. in Misc JoeUser Forums

You just answered your own question. More revenue for the city, but not for those local union carpenters.