Chapter 12, part 1 The Dangers of the Past The Vasari <span
Fokxnim
During review of this last part I noticed that I had some improper tense agreements. While you read it if you can spot any verbs that I don't have in the past tense and quote them for me, that'd be great. The sentence that went, "Flankx gulped, trying to steady his emotions," is ok. Just so you can see the difference. Gulped is in the past tense, so its proper tense agreement, as the other verb are "helping out" gulped. Don't want a million quotes on words that are actually ok. Anyway
Chapter 11, part 3 The Council of Nine The Vasari <span sty
[quote who="Quirken" reply="49" id="2375082"] Quoting Extremor, reply 47 a) IC knows how desparately the community is awaiting this expansion set (as it is quite obvious with all these diplomacy threads in the forum). They do not need to advertise and release it with a big bang that will astonish the community. IC will prevent the community from pre-judging the expansion set without even having played. "Experts" around here are quick with jud
[quote who="Allegiance86" reply="24" id="2372546"]No I wouldnt ask you to remove it. Like I said it fits nicely into the idea of the Vasari Religion. My point on the other hand, is that its from something unbenounced to the SINs Lore. which kindof excludes it from discussion because this is supposed to be about the Vasari. Not a group created. While it tries to explain what happened at Kron. Im sure the majority of players who would like to make assumptions on what happened at Kron
[quote who="Allegiance86" reply="21" id="2372489"]The Vasari would have a central Leader. Like every nation before it, Someone to rally the people as well take the blame for things even he/she couldnt have caused. An Emperor of sorts.[/quote] Maybe the Fleet Admiral Commander? [insert before fleet whatever you want to call the fleet the vasari have now. i for one call them the Remnant Fleet, but thats just me] [quote who="Allegiance86" reply="21" id="2372489"]\Meaning po
Well I mean, its from the Spirit's point of view, but it's the Vasari religion and their history. Gives an explanation for Kron and all that. I was just saying its the Spirit's point of view , not that it's not about the Vasari. Do you want me to remove it though? All you have to do is ask.
[quote who="Allegiance86" reply="10" id="2371957"]I have two small problems with your story though. But again I want to say I admire your skill when it comes to storytelling. Ive read your Chronicles and they are very good. My only issue is with the mentioning of Earth. I couldnt imagine the Vasari having any kindof prior knowledge of the Terran world of Earth. It took them 10,000 years of running to even make it to the fringes of Terran held space. Let alone to know of it prior to their firs
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="438" id="2370652"]very good, i liked it. you overplayed the whole unidentifiable ship-thing a little, that section could be edited down. but this section was really good. and wasnt it the vasari that worshipped the spirits? or is my memory failing me again. i dont think so. have we seen kol "traverse the World of Visions?" i have a really bad memory[/quote] It is the Vasari that worship the Spirits, although we don't know that in
Chapter 11, part 2 The Story Unfolds...in the Future? The Vasari <span style="font-family:
[quote who="Whippersnapper-DirtySanchez" reply="57" id="2369625"] Uh...OK...if you say so C.I...whatever... I ended up with the CenturionJixra name because early on I registered an account as Whippersnapper or some such and then forgot the password or something along those lines and couln't use it, so I went with an alternative. Then I tried to change it to just plain DirtySanchez but that was taken and it wouldn't let me use Dirty Sanchez with a space.
[quote who="Exterm123" reply="20" id="2363284"]LOL yeah! I don't recognize any of the names here as currently active forum members. [/quote] ha, wat names r u looking for?
[or.........u dont hav to do the questions. tho u mighta not seen this cause i only updated the top and didnt add a new post....well now i am. that question thing interest anyone? just trying to keep this thread alive.]
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="117" id="2356815"] what the hell are we talking about? [/quote] this: https://forums.stardock.com/362569
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="203" id="2356798"]i was under the impression that you would just pick random people from the three (four?) factions, not necessarily from the story, and we would have to figure out who it was. like the first character. i kind of liked it that way better [/quote] [well the purpose of this thread was so i could create and develop characters for Sinners. i just hav no more ideas for new characters, so no need to create and develop them. If (when?) I
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="429" id="2356803"]who said they were on the other side of the wormhole? [/quote] and I did [e digicons]:P[/e]
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="429" id="2356803"]who said they were on the other side of the wormhole? [/quote] the wreck appeared through the wormhole. so whatevr the ship is, it came from the wormhole that Esquian's fleet was destroyed in.
[any other questions? Do we want to move on?]
Please comment to let me know that you're reading and you're interested. The more people comment and say things, the faster I get chapters out to please those people.
Chapter 11, part 1 The Watcher The Vasari <span style="
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="410" id="2347942"]oh, gotta go back and read 10.2 again[/quote] Actually, I went back again and replaced points of antimatter to units of antimatter. I liked that better.
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="414" id="2347958"] yeah i've been reading that. and why does the High One have to be human? Not saying yes or no, just want to know your reasoning. its a guess. he said, "good hunting." its a term a modern military man might use, not an advent god[/quote] Ok.....ha not the connection I was trying to achieve, but you'll see who else uses that phrase in later chapters...
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="412" id="2347954"]much better. talking about chapter 10, part 2. i would tweak a few things, like instead of a private have a colonel or something, who might actually have contributed to the design, or overseen the building o fthe ship, and who would actually know something about the ship. but thats very minor[/quote] Well, a scientist could have a low rank and still work on the ship. A higher rank would more likely delegate it to someone lower. Or tha
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="409" id="2347931"] Would his own implants the transferal process? typo, i guess. third paragraph. just wanted to bring that to your attention[/quote] thanks, i forgot the word survive. [e digicons]O:)[/e]
[quote who="eoncommander" reply="410" id="2347942"]oh, gotta go back and read 10.2 again i liked the removal of the psitech bit, thought it made a lot of sense. and i use IE, and the font looks weird all in all, a very good chapter. though the high one must be human. i mean, a normal human, or at least used to be. have you read The Undying's post about the background to sins? https://forums.sinsofasolarempire.com/360075 it is quite good [/quote]