Banned for "bannified" does not cut the mustard in the context of banning... besides, I prefer my mustard on a pickled pork sandwich

banned for pickled pork does make a strong center core

Banned for pickled pork. And I know what you want for Christmas starkers....

Banned for knowing.

Banned for Awesome bacon shower curtains...And just in case, banned for bacon body wash with bacon soap poofy thingies...

LOL  

There is an expensive new perfume out. It smells like pizza dough. 

  For real!   

 That reminds of a joke from way back in High School, it was a mamma joke. It went like this, "Yo mamma so dumb, she was trying to cook pancakes on a bar-b-que grill.

Edit: Oops, forgot to ban you for not banning....

banned for telling jokes in ban class

Banned for taking notice of jokes in ban class.

Besides, you've been at it long enough that you shouldn't need classes.... tho maybe glasses, cos wot yo momma said 'bout going blind, well that wos true.

Banned for why is chili hot?  

banned for no knowledge of chemicals in vegetable

Which may explain the poor knowledge of how even "organic" vegetables and fruits can be harmful. Typical city folk.

Banned for tortured English.

banned for the English have always been tortured

That's how the US got started.

Banned for slow and steady wins the race. Oh wait that's torture, not tortoise.   So uh, hurry up then. 

Banned for my turtle's faster than your tortured tortoise... it's just not right attaching a pole to its shell with bluetack so's you can hang a bit of lettuce in front of its mouth but just out of reach.  Besides, that's considered cheating in tortoise racing, you know!

Banned for I would want to hogtie anyone who'd attach a tack on anything.   

Without that my tortoise would definitely pass yours anyway. Because your 2 much of a gentleman, which your tortoise will mimic and let me go first. 

Banned because your Sexy Santa there (is that supposed to be L. Croft??) has a seriously deformed head.

Banned because I can't see it. I stlll have the star..?  And yes L. Croft. And I don't see that. {my account pic}  Maybe you should get your eye checked. 

banned for not seeing things his way

Banned for not seeing eye to eyes. 

Banned for the eyes have it.... look into my eyes, look into my eyes... you are getting sleepy, very sleepy... on the count of three you will start undressing and get into bed

Banned for needing new glasses.

banned for being needy

You are starting to sound like starkers.

Banned for my needs outweigh the needs of the many.

And now time for a Christmas fave....

banned for thinking everyone likes that one