leave it to diva
(PLEASE NOTE: this post contains strong language, but is not intended to offend. thanks)
http://www.loserturdmafia.com/
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
i have a sign on the wall next to my computer that reads "don't fuck with me".
people are amazed that i leave it there for all to see. they worry that it might say something about me to the world. i do hope they're right. because that phrase should be standard issue for me. introductory words, even.
it's not a threat. it's just good advice. it's the most all-encompassing piece of logic i know. it's the most relevant thing i have ever found, despite a solid 20 years (and counting) compulsion to apparently try and read everything that has ever been written, i am still left with that solid little chunk of a statement.
"don't fuck with me"
this phrase will never become "popular". but i don't mind. popular culture can have it's "that's so unbalanced, man" (and it's socially relevant cousins political correctness ("please do not attempt to deliberately have an unpleasant intercourse of any type with me"); and anger-management ("i would rather you did not engage me in such activities").
i am happy with "don't fuck with me". i'll never see it on a billboard. no saccharine-sweet greeting card line will bastardise it and add some flowers and glitter. it will always sound cheesy enough to never be cool. it will always sound dirty enough to never be in common use.
"don't fuck with me"
any 14 year old can tell you how sad that phrase sounds coming from a 34 year old woman. like a desperate attempt to stay in touch. (not a catch-cry you want to have if mass approval is your thing. not something you want if staying relevant to yourself matters less to you than keeping up appearances).
i have a spiderman tank top. the blue clashes with my hair. what breasts i do have make spidey look like he has a wonky head !. i wore it last time i painted a wall. my husband liked it. he chased me. (he caught me by my shirt. he made a stretched blob near spidey's balls ... if he has them ... does he ? ... anyway, he does now, and so i can't wear it outside. but i probably wasn't going to anyway).
ok, so i'm a mid-30's woman who wants a cartoon for a life and a has fondness for thinking "unfashionable" things. i intend to remain stubbornly optimistic, stupidly idealistic and largely benign. but i'm no fairy either. i'm not sure if willful ignorance is any better than plain old ignorance, but it's the only stance i can take on some issues and still manage to exist with them in my orbit.
and i'm not angry. i haven't been pushed into a corner from which i peer in horror from behind a "don't fuck with me" sign. i'm just taking a huge shortcut communication wise. it's all anybody really needs to know about me, after all.
call me misguided, but to me, intention is everything ... results are just what intentions and actions create. if you lie to me and make me rich by it, expect to have my back turned on you. if you harm me badly by mistake, expect to find my arms still open to you. but above all, expect me to know the difference. because i will.
what that sign actually means is "thanks for being interested in me. i hope i prove worthy. you have now arrived in my life, where dramas, debates, differences-of-opinion, out and out disagreements and any other elements you may validly want to add in good intention are completely welcome ... "
"... you may be assured of a warm reception and an attentive ear. you may expect to be treated fairly, listened to, appreciated, and received with an open mind ..."
"... as long as you don't ... well, you know"
