"Schematicsninja
we haven't gotten the chance to try out a RT4X yet...
come back later, like... in a year. "
Knights of Honor ?
Pax Imperia?
Lords of the realm 3?
Generally i prefet TBS as i am a slow player but Knights of honor for instance gives you enought time to make decisions. With such a good example, i am convinced that Sins will be fine for me.
While i am usually to0 slow at Age of Empires/Rise of Nations/Empire earth type of games, i've discovered that some RTS games allowed me to make my decision with no hurry because you don't have to control "everything". My favorite RTS games are the Celtic King by Haemimont as you focus on tactics. Some other tactical rts games i found good to enjoy as i have time to make decisions: Praetorians, Lord of the rings: battle for middleearth, cossacks 2, Legion Arena just to name a few.