arrrgh, cap'n if it were up ta me, i'd make 'em walk tha plank o'er the shark infested depths o' dA. Tis a place no man returns from......    

An' I s'poses tha bureau 'll use that thar Stardock technology ta locate I an' impose a fine? Not ta wurry, us'll 'ave tha 'Sister' parked in shark infested waaters n' 'ave our cannons trained ta scuttle thar boats if'n 'em even thinks 'bout comin' alongside.

Besides, that thar "yo hee hee" don't 'ave tha same ring to it, now do it? Nah, us've never bin unkindly spoke of them thar ladies, n' u'll not be breakin wiv age old pirate tradishun fer tha sake o' some pencil pushin' bureaucrat wiv too much time on e's 'ands.

I mean, what'd be next if'n us let's 'em git away wiv that...."aarrgghhh" gits struck from our vernacular cos it frightens little ol' ladies n' discriminates agin 24 letters of tha alphabet??



Now don't you go gittin' too gung ho 'bout plank walkin' over thar at dA, thar be far scarier places fer ta be instillin' tha fear o' Davy Jones' locker in tha black 'earts o' them wot won't co-operate. Why thar'd be wurse places deep dark 'ere in tha bowels o' WC that'd bring even tha meanest, blackest, scurviest pirate cringin' to e's knees.

Ye prob'bly 'aven't bin 'round long nuff ta know 'bout tha dreaded Stardock technology wot strikes fear inta even tha blackest 'eart, so be warned an' watch out fer guv'nor Fogboy's men. I'll tell 'e tha two ta keep yer eye open fer most, that thar Jafo n' Fuzzy Logic....if'n 'em ever gits ye 'ooked up ta them Stardock machines. ye'll be screamin' fer yer mammy n' wishin' yer ne'er let go her apron strings.

Nah, them dA depths be like a goldfish bowl compared ta wot them blokes can do to 'e.

They want Santa to toss the stuffing. Saying fat people are bad role models for young uns.

Arrg, I be just warning ye. I not be from the pc coppers.

And who's to say all Santas are padded up...in this day and age of frequent fast food, etc, there's a good chance quite a few fill the suit naturally. And fat people a bad role models for kids? What about politicians who lie; slander each-other; bicker like kinder kids into middle-age and can't keep promises? That to me is a far more damaging precedent to set kids...and these are the pricks telling us what is acceptable/correct.

Ya know, here in OZ schools now, teachers are forbidden to refer to gender specific parent figures in the classroom...supposedly so as not to confuse children of same-sex relationships. Now how stupid is that...mum & dad are now sexless and must be referred to as...er, what the f**k do you call a genderless parental figure???

I has gotten so ridiculous with all this political correctness, it will get to the stage where people will be afraid to communicate...and youngsters will grow up not knowing how. In fact, I already find it difficult to hold a meaningful conversation with some younger folk....they use the barest minimum of language/words to express themselves, and because of this they don't have the patience to listen if you need to convey thoughts in one or more sentences.



I knowed ye weren't a flatfoot...thar were too much of a spring in yer step fer ta be one o' those intellectual thugs....aye, an it be good ta see ye agin, Doc.

Arrgg! That be 1984. A very prophetic book that just missed on the year.

Good to see you resurrecting this old tub. We still have a company to ransack! And I be in the mood for booty!

arrgg, cap'n... we gots schools here in tha new world where youngsters can't e'en play a game o' tag or dodgeball. Brings a tear to me eye, so it does.......  

ye had bet'r pass me tha rum......  

Arrgg! That be me job! E'en the Cap'n does not get his daily ration lest I test it first!

Parental unit 1 and 2 them be Arrrrrrggghh!

cap'n....that be sound'n like some kinda bad joke ta me....

Wish twer.

Who's seem me parrot?
I heard it'were dead but ah'll be blasted if'n it be true!

Shure wos prophetic....sadly, them bureaucrats n' pollytishuns 'ave become summat that rhymes n' aptly fits ....pathetic.



Aaarrgghh, this 'ere tub be like tha Black Pearl, only better. Thar baint be an ocean on earth that'd keep tha Twisted Sister 'neath the waves fer long, bein' she be...uh, possessed, I fink ye calls it, an' 'aves a life all of 'er own.

No off it is ta Stardock...thar be treasure there fer us ta plunder....aarrghh!!

Aarrgghh, it be criminal wot them guv'nor's men 'ave done ta tha young-uns, takin' away all their child'ood fun like that.

Down in Orstraylian schools, tha kids baint be allowed ta cuddle or hug any more...seems tha Guv'nor's thugs 'ave deemed it inappropriate or summat. Don't recall it doin' me any 'arm when I were at school...if fact, if mem'ry serves I right (which it do), a quick hug did I a lot o' good.



That'll 'ave to fall ta tha Doc...cos I be a teetotaller these days! 'Ow 'bout a cup o' Tetleys?

It be a job ye can keep, Doc...n' ye oughta know by now I ne'er lets a drop pass me lips ....rum n' curried cabbage be a deadly concocshun, an' if anything were able ta send tha 'Sister' t' a watery grave, that'd be it.

Sad, isn't it....but more to the point, what the heck do you call aunts and uncles if gender specifics are forbidden?? Parent figure No 1's sibling: Unit Type No 2?? Ah, but even that somehow suggests there is a difference between one and the other, so strictly speaking, unit definitions are no more acceptable than gender specifics.

Poses somewhat of a dilemma, what! And how confusing for kids at school trying to explain during show & tell that their grandmother gave them a birthday gift....without the gender reference, kids can't have a grandmother to speak of, much less birthday as giving birth is a gender specific event.

Wow, must be really confusing for you...being 2of3 out of a collective of billions.

Nah, no joke! It be some sick n' twisted idear o' them deranged official types with perverted senses of right n' wrong, good n' bad....'ow us identifies with and to our closest relatives.

And that bit about Ho,ho,ho being verbotten...what a crock of sh!t that is. Ho,ho,ho and Yo,ho,ho have beeb synonymous with Santa and pirates for centuries....long before some gang banger with a lazy mind and even lazier potty mouth decided to turn the word whore into "ho" to defame women with a whole 'new' terminology.

It comes back to how so many of the younger generation desire to reduce the English language to a few syllables as possible...and I'll be damned if I'm going to have some PC correct twit telling me I can't call one of my garden tools a ho, and all because another twit who cannot be bothered to use the language correctly refers to his/her 'sit down to pee' peers as ho's.

Angry?? You bet your sweet bippy I'm angry...legitimate language uses are no longer acceptable because 'slang bangers' corruptions have been foolishly legitimised by thin skinned puppets in bureaucracy and government.

Oi, Zubaz, if that be yer parrot an' it be female, I don' want ye ta be leavin' it laying round 'round wiv its legs up in tha air n' all spread like that....us don' want Pecky getting any horny notions.

Last time, when 'e spied inta tha wenches cabin n' see'd 'em undressin', us 'ad an orful time while 'e terriorised a flock o' seagulls.

Which one is 1 and which is 2? Now there's a potential quagmire... you refer to the male as '1' and you're a chauvinist.

In the collective there is no sex....... we assimilate

Arrrgh! Pirates we may be, but tha respect'ble type. Ahoy, lass...err....non-gender sp'cific person... bah! just don't 'ave tha same ring to it mateys!

Tis troublin', so tis. Tha world's gone ta hell inna PC hand-basket....

Yep, all this 'ere politically correct stuff 'ave opened up a can o' worms big enuff ter keep all tha fishermen of tha world 'appy fer life.

Ever see a movie when a tourist gets out a foreign language phrase book in the hope of getting it right?? Well it's getting to the stage where we'll have to pull out an OPCD (Official Politically Correct Dictionary) before daring speak in public...yep, for fear of uttering a disapproved of word or phrase and being stoned..er, pelted with old-world dictionaries by new-age volcabularist's.

seein as how i grew up in tha southern states, tha PC thing tis troublsome fer me. T'was raised by me grandparents, and true southerners they were. Tis hard for me not ta be sayin "hun" ta tha lass at tha local store. Don't want ta be rufflin' no feathers.

Well that's a novel way of describing it ....but then, in a world where gender reference no longer acceptable - and thus sex is forbidden because it can lead to gender related events such as pregnancy/childbirth (and they were decidedly female functions when I last looked) - I wouldn't be admitting to a bit of nookie, either.

D'ya realise, the human race is bound for extinction at this rate...tho I imagine there'll still be collectives who'll assimilate in secret/behind closed doors.

Won't be able ter say that, neither....matey implies a person of the male persuasion, and that just baint be allowed no more.

Gawd, tha way it be g'wen, ye won' be able ter call out after 3rd mate, Bill, cos it'll discriminate agin Master Bates.

I knows wot yer mean thar....I visits tha fishermen's wives wot wurks at tha fish markets real regular like, an' 'em all knows I pretty good, but wiv all this 'ere PC stuff g'wen on, I'll prob'bly find meself deep in shark sh!t wiv tha guv'nor's henchmen if'n I says to 'em like I always do: "Arrgghhh, me fine wenches, 'ow be 'e doin' me beauties?"