Aarrrgghh, I 'ave bin assemblin' me a new crew fer ta be sailin' this 'ere 'Twisted Sister' ta tha Great Barrier Reef....after us 'ave bin in drydock ta cut out tha hull n' replace 'er wiv a glass un. Thar juss be no booty in this 'ere sailin' ta Stardock caper,'n none o' ye 'aves any enfusiasm fer it anymore, so me n' this 'ere new crew'll be gittin' inta tha tourism trade instead. (and Brad says thank f*@k for that )

Thar'll be many a dubloom ta be made wiv this 'ere converted ol' pirate ship, showin me payin' passengers tha reef's many wunders while I juss lays back, sips me iced tea 'n gits meself a suntan.


Arrrgggh this 'ere new crew may be thaa roughest lookin' bunch o' sea dogs, but i'll tell 'e wot, they'm tha most loyal bunch o swabs I e'er 'ad tha pleasure ta sail wiv

Tha new crew be orf ta git their mug shots fer their passports....an' juss ta show ye wot a pack o' loyal swabs they be, I'll be nailin' their pics ta tha mizzen fer yer peepers when they comes back tomorra

Be warned, most of 'em be sum wot gruesome lookin'.

Aye, dat be true. War da ya tink they got the idea of a Jolly Roger? Twas me babbee picture no less.

Which one o' ye blaggards be firin' 't Cutty Sark?

Oi' be takin' me cutlass to e' gonads an no mistake   

She be a fine ship, that she were.

Nay, 't weren't none of us wot done that....she whar too fine a vessel fer tha likes o' bein' burnt' down 't waterline. It would 'ave ter 'ave bin a landlubber, cos no sea salt wurth e's salt would've done such a dastardly fing....string 'em up by tha bollocks I ses, frum tha 'ighest yardarm we can find.



Gruesome weren't tha word....tha bloke wot does them portraits fingwybobs fer passports called in 'n reckoned 'e'd 'ave ter git 'imself a new fangled gadget cos 'e reckuns they done broke 'is old un wiv their diabolical dials.....

I 'opes 'e gits 'em dun soon so's us can set sail real fast, like.....I 'ears thar be sum booty laden Chinese Junks wot got dashed up agin tha coral reefs n' sunk in these ere waters 'round Northern Orstraylya.

Zany spun out story on this looooonnnng post! A fun post if ever there was one

Bosun Barnabas Bailey

Have any of ye been readin' this 'ere article?  Real Pirate Hang-outs

Argh!!!

Gunner Grimble Griswald

Navigator Nobby Nathaniel

'elmsman 'orrible 'uxtable

And tha Saw Bones.....Digby Damage.







Well thar ye 'as it, me loyal n' keen as mustard crew......now bain't they be tha most bewtiful lookin' bunch o' ol' sea swabs ye did ever cast yer peepers on !!!! I juss 'opes 'em don't scare orf me payin' passengers wots signed up fer tha first reef cruise.

Them buggers oughter be ashamed of 'emselves...firing rockets n' stuff at 'armless cruise ships.. .not very gentlemanly-like at all. It gives honest pirates like us a bad name, it do.

Gone are tha days of us more chivalrous pirates, I tell 'e, now they'm uncivilised an' a murderous bunch o vishous cutfroats.....that's wot 'em be, murderous n' uncivilised.

aaargghh Cap't Starkers permission ta come aboard? Me time in confinement bein served an all?

Aaarrgghh, well o' course me dear, an' ye did'n 'ave ter ask....it be a given that this 'ere be yer 'ome away frum 'ome.

So 'ow be 'e? Us've missed ye n' yer cat o' nine summat fierce round tha decks 'n all. As ye can see, us 'aves sum new crew members wot be might be a tad green, but I be sure them'll pick up tha ropes in no time an' make fine replacements fer that bunch o scurvy sea dogs wot slipped o'er tha side ta go visitin' 'ouses of ill repute.

Oh, an' while ye might see 'em on tha poop deck, ye'll not see 'em up thar poopin' on tha deck....them be ravver civilised frawgs and 'em 'ave promised me their tadpoles won't be a nuisance if'n any of 'em 'appens ta git out loose on deck, like.

If'n I recalls correctly, last time us 'ad a tadpole problem, it wur a drawed affair that see'd us usin' up most of our cannon balls sinkin' them thar Froggie barges wot 'ad no booty wurth takin'

aaarrggh Cap't it be mighty fine ta be back an all!


Ere now Mistress Jenny be puttin ta crew ta rights fer ye agin wit me cat o nine tails. I bein gettin lots practice in ta prison where ta mice shared ta food wid me!


So all ye crotchety old blaggards, ye bein swillin ta rotgut ye call rum an no doin ta work ye should be doin! Tis ta wrath o me cat ye be feelin mighty sharp on ye backs, den tis pecky wot be eatin ta maggots off your back 3 days after! An if ye be givin trouble still then ye be walkin ta plank an swimmin wit ta sharks!



So ow be ta mighty fine Mrs Starkers then Cap't, ye bein behavin fer er i's likes ta be thinkin or she be bendin ye over ta table an given ye ta wooded spoon on ye tush no doubt!

An where be dat scurvy dog dat call imself an alien, ta one wit ta pointy ears? wots es name, Fuzzball somit, aaarggh fuzzylogic! wot tricks e bein up to whilst I was gone Cap't? No doubt ye be keepin im in line? aaargghh

ah now I be lookin fer ta food an a glass o good froggy wine, i be beggin ye pardon Capt but I be itchin fer a good drink!

Aarrghh, tha missus be doin' juss fine, Mistress Jennifer....an' o' course I bin be'avin' meself....don' git ta go 'cross 'er knee if'n I plays up any. B'sides, I be gittin, too slowed down n' long in tha tooth these ere days ta be misbe'avin'.

Mrs starkers ses I be too slow even ta catch a cold, so 'er reckuns she baint be wurried 'bout I chasin' wild wimmin or wenches anymore....an' 'er ses, I baint be 'andsome enuff anymore ta be attractin' 'em. so I s'pose I 'aves ter be'ave meself.

Any'ow, I 'ad best let ye git ta that thar froggy wine ye be thirstin' fer, while I puts on tha kettle fer a good ol' brew o' Tetleys.

ah now ye be talkin mighty fine language, a cuppa tetleys brew that be a mighty treat!

while i be stuck on land wit ta landlubbers in ta rat infested cell i be findin this website wot ta landlubbers be usin - it be lookin like it be good fun.


WWW Link

seems pirating be spoofin al over ta place! this one ere be so funny ta bilge rats be asking ta get orf ta twisted sister!! Tis a pirate convention.


WWW Link



di we be gettin it right yet? did ye scurvey dogs get ta booty on board?

Starkers....those images were awfully big....they take forever to load...dial-up users wouldn't have a chance.  Perhaps 2300x1700 is a bit 'silly'....

Actually, I didn't notice they were that big until you mentioned it. I usually save my images at 1024 x 768....must be that new album thingy that came with PSP X1 wot saved 'em so hugely enormous.

Will downsize and re-upload to Imageshack to see if that helps any.

Sod it....originals will not delete so can not replaced by downsized (800 x 600) re-uploads.

i's been lookin fer Tawoods, but I be told he be leavin these ere parts? I was goin ta drag the scurvy dog back on ta ship an all! But e's off dancin elswhere now?

It seems our souls be beyond redemption, so tha mighty vicar took orf ashore ta see if thar wos any salvagable souls among tha landlubbers. I juss 'opes 'e baint be 'oldin' e's breath, cos I don't reckun 'e'll be findin' any thar either.