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Joe User is "Joke User"

Joe User is "Joke User"

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https://www.joeuser.com
Everyone at Joe User is just so happy and fun! You have to have a sense of humor with a name like Joe User!

I was considering starting a blogsite dedicated to the discussion of marriage. I was going to call it Harry Crabs. My wife balked, so I digress.

There is really no virtual community to compare to the honest, open perspective that Joe User has. There should be more like it. This world would be a much richer, more diverse place.

I, as soooooooo many others are just grateful to be blessed by the absolute intelligence that this community offers.

Thank you so much. And to do it all for free?! Wow!

PC
451,134 views 1,285 replies
Reply #501 Top
AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! I be back aboard! Now whare be 'e all me 'earties? Thar be bilge swillin' up from down below, sails that needs a hoistin', n' wenches that needs a chasin'....not ta mention them thar kegs o' rum us aves down in tha 'old. Best ye all gits back ta work 'n pump tha bilge afore them rum kegs floats orf inta tha sea.
Reply #502 Top
We be here. 'Ow was the vacation Capt'n?
Reply #503 Top
We be here. 'Ow was the vacation Capt'n?


I'z don know bout thee Capt'n but me has had one long vacation from this here place..no one missed me either....I shan't become a topless wench to become a favorite here....
I still thinks me best be cooking and not nursing the men...I'z much rather be handling taters than men's parts...if there's any men's parts to be handled, I'll do the choosing instead of having to do that...

that ok with you? anyone?
Reply #504 Top
I still thinks me best be cooking and not nursing the men...I'z much rather be handling taters than men's parts...if there's any men's parts to be handled, I'll do the choosing instead of having to do that...


We be needin a cook! The crew be wastin away on grilled cheese sandwiches.
Reply #505 Top
It be 'bout bloody time ye all be back on ta boat!







Reply #506 Top
I sees Ta nurse has become ta cook? Ms Trudy be cookin fine food fer all!
Reply #507 Top
Ms Trudy be cookin fine food fer all!


She be a professional! No more of that maggot infested grub we be eatin for the last 40 days. Arrrggggg!
Reply #508 Top
She be a professional! No more of that maggot infested grub we be eatin for the last 40 days. Arrrggggg!


ah that be sounded good, Ms Trudy what we be suppin' tonight?
Reply #509 Top
ah that be sounded good, Ms Trudy what we be suppin' tonight?


AHA! Vala! I knew ye be here! You cant stay away from a good voyage!
Reply #511 Top
So, go on sissy boy.


Classic.


um.... "go on" what?


Arrrgggh Scoffy ta las' man be usin' such language was keel hauled by ta capt'n!

First Mate Guy me thinks we be 'avin' a new mate on board? What job 'e be 'avin' then?

Ah yes I 'ave ta be on this 'ere ship, it cannot sail wit'out me! Tis good ta be back on board tis it not?

Reply #512 Top
I see ta cook be takin ta job then not be back ta feed us tonight then? Where be she 'idin' then? Ms Trudy where be them fine vittals then?
Reply #513 Top
I see ta cook be takin ta job then not be back ta feed us tonight then? Where be she 'idin' then? Ms Trudy where be them fine vittals then?


  

You yanks are all blimmin bonkers!!   
Reply #514 Top
You yanks are all blimmin bonkers


oi ye be lookin fer me cat o nine now! I be a bloody limey an' all!
Reply #515 Top
.I shan't become a topless wench to become a favorite here...


Ye wouldn' be allowed even if ye wanted ta....tha crew be too easily side-tracked frum their chores wi' the swillin' o' rum, so us cain't afford fer 'em ta be distracted even more by free-flowin' puppies, out n' about on deck.

All that be topless 'round 'ere right now be tha Twisted Sister....'oist them thar sails ye survy swabs...AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

.if there's any men's parts to be handled.....


....then they can 'andle 'em themselves! Swabs of old had ta cos it were considered unlucky fer ta 'ave wenches aboard....OI, Master Bates, un'and that thar woman!!!
Thar'll be no special priveleges 'ere, just cos us 'as bent tha rules ta accomodate these fine ladies.

I sees Ta nurse has become ta cook? Ms Trudy be cookin fine food fer all!

She be a professional! No more of that maggot infested grub we be eatin for the last 40 days. Arrrggggg!


Ooooh arrrgghh....'bout time us 'ad some grub worthy of mention....summat that sticks ta yer gizzards rather than strip out tha linin' altogether. Wiv Xmas just 'round tha corner, us'll 'ave ta go ashore fer ham, chicken n' turkey....notice I said 'let's get some fowl', not ta bring sumfink foul back aboard.

Reply #516 Top
Wiv Xmas just 'round tha corner, us'll 'ave ta go ashore fer ham, chicken n' turkey


oooooo aaaarrrgghh that sound so good, me tummy be rumblin like mad now!

Reply #517 Top
me tummy be rumblin like mad now!


So that's where the dull ROAR's bin comin' from.....

...fer a while thar I thought it were cos the crew 'ad installed a coupla Rolls Royce V12's ta save havin' ta 'oist them thar sails.
Reply #518 Top
You yanks are all blimmin bonkers!!


Oi...just spied this 'ere lil gem! I'll 'ave ye know, ScoffPiggy, this be a multi-national, multi-cultural vessel an' us'll 'ave no such generalisations 'ere ....everyone (regardless of race, colour or creed) who comes aboard 'ere 'as ta be "blimmin bonkers"....no exceptions.

And BTW....'stark' raving mad be reserved for me....yer cap'n, 'ence the name,
Reply #519 Top
oi ye be lookin fer me cat o nine now


cat o nine, my boot-e. The only lashes a limey lass better be giving me is that of the bacon varie-iti.    Now git in that thar gally and rustle me up some good seafaring grub befar i be tradin' yar bones to the pygmies of Pigmi Island.

Oi...just spied this 'ere lil gem! I'll 'ave ye know, ScoffPiggy, this be a multi-national, multi-cultural vessel an' us'll 'ave no such generalisations 'ere ....everyone (regardless of race, colour or creed) who comes aboard 'ere 'as ta be "blimmin bonkers"....no exceptions.


aaaarrrgghh, right yee aaaarrrgghh capn' right yee aaaarrrgghh.... although might i be permited to suggest that some of them thar hanging round har be not just "blimmin bonkers" so much as they be "blimmin-blimmin bonkers".

'pecially them thar limey-yanky-ocker types.

aaaarrrgghh, aaaarrrgghh then oooooo aaaarrrgghh.
ha haaarrgh, cough, splutter, wheeze.

Reply #520 Top
'pecially them thar limey-yanky-ocker types.


Ooooh-Arrrrgghhh, they by faaaar be tha werst of 'em.....everybody 'as a right ta be blimmin, blimmin' bonkers, but that type takes tha privelege n' abuses it....

Break out tha straight jackets n' prepare them thar padded cells...us'll be needin' 'em wiv so many limey-yankie-ocker types aboard.

BTW, ScoffPiggy...welcome aboard n' be 'avin' a good time while ye be 'ere.
Reply #521 Top
cat o nine, my boot-e. The only lashes a limey lass better be giving me is that of the bacon varie-iti. Now git in that thar gally and rustle me up some good seafaring grub befar i be tradin' yar bones to the pygmies of Pigmi Island.

Oi...just spied this 'ere lil gem! I'll 'ave ye know, ScoffPiggy, this be a multi-national, multi-cultural vessel an' us'll 'ave no such generalisations 'ere ....everyone (regardless of race, colour or creed) who comes aboard 'ere 'as ta be "blimmin bonkers"....no exceptions.


aaaarrrgghh, right yee aaaarrrgghh capn' right yee aaaarrrgghh.... although might i be permited to suggest that some of them thar hanging round har be not just "blimmin bonkers" so much as they be "blimmin-blimmin bonkers".

'pecially them thar limey-yanky-ocker types.

aaaarrrgghh, aaaarrrgghh then oooooo aaaarrrgghh.
ha haaarrgh, cough, splutter, wheeze.


arrrrrrrrrrrgh I was goin' ta be sayin' a good mor' ta all, till I read yer comments an' choked on me tea!   

Now, let me tellin' ye I be doin ta captn orders ta be beatin' ta men wahts gettin' outta line on this 'ere ship and ye be jus' kickin' ta get bent o' ta barrels taday! Ye bein not careful I be puttin' Pecky ta parrot on them thar jelly beans of yers! Pecky enjoys a snack every so offen like! HAHAHAHAH

This 'ere blimmin blimmin limey says top o' ta' morn ta yer all now me 'earties!

Now I be finished me mornin' mutterin's I can be gettin on wit' ta business o' rousin' ta crew below what's been drinkin rum al' ta night! swillin it like ta pigs ta be when it comes ta fine rum an wenchin! aaargh

Tis good we 'ave this 'ere scoff piggy on board now capt, he be a fine pirate ta join us 'ere, he be givin' us ta laffs too!

Now me see Blackbeard ship 'as been plundered and 'tis been said 'e be 'avin' ta mercury fer ta dose he got back in J'maca. hahahah

Where be we 'eadin this time capt, what fine adventure we be goin on tis time?
Reply #522 Top
You yanks are all blimmin bonkers!!


Mistress Jenny be of the finest stock from merry olde England, that she be!
Reply #523 Top
Dr. Guy


Top o' ta morn ta yer doc!
Reply #524 Top
Now, let me tellin' ye I be doin ta captn orders ta be beatin' ta men wahts gettin' outta line on this 'ere ship and ye be jus' kickin' ta get bent o' ta barrels taday!


You tell 'em, Mistress Jennifer....you tell 'em!! Us 'aves ta ave some discipline aboards this 'ere vessel, an' I'm glad ye is steppin' up ta tha plate ta dish it out ....otherwise this motely crew would be takin' far too many liberties.....

Mistress Jenny be of the finest stock from merry olde England, that she be!


As are so many....no matter 'ow far n' wide us've been spread. The good ol' British Empire, eh! It 'ave established its proud Anglo-Saxon roots in all corners o' the globe....got a lot to answer for as well. Take a gander at Orstrayla, fer instance, sent all its convicts n' clowns 'ere....an' now look at the place, it be full o' larrikins n' jokers....just point yer peepers on our lil Johnny fer a bit (Jafo too) n' ye'll see wot I mean...
Reply #525 Top
my God. How wierd is this?