The Cap'n an' ee's mateys visited the old Chocolate Planet to rape an' pillage an' nibble the wenches' chocolate coatings till they weren't maidens no more, arrr.

Arr Cap't Spanky ye ol devil, now i be knowin who ye be! Aye tis a right time ye and ye crew be givin ta wimen!

Any ye men be steppin' outta line like - ye be sendin' im t' me an' I be givin him the cat and thumbscrews like 'e nere felt before!

I be takin no crap from no man! I be beatin' ta shyte outta im that be givin' me lip! Ye be tellin ye men they be mindin' their manners like!

aaargh

booty laden

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?! Wot then...'as he 'ad a sex-change whilst buggerin' about in them caves w' naught but men about fr comfort 'n' companionship?! Waugh! AArrrh...

Best be ridden th' worl' o' th' likes o' him... 'twere be done, best be done quickly!'
[a thousand pardons to th' bard for quotin' th' last]

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?! Wot then...'as he 'ad a sex-change whilst buggerin' about in them caves w' naught but men about fr comfort 'n' companionship?! Waugh! AArrrh...

  
Aye, ye been 'earin bout the coward in a missy dress!

Aye, but It'll not be wot they expect!

??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?

Nope, booty laden be no relation ta them thar varmints. It be meanin' full o' treasure, not full o' shite, like that thar brood o' recalcitrant cave dwellers.

I had ta do it.....the big 500!

booty laden ??!! Is't not that pesky louse wot hides in t'woods o' Baluchistan after th' crashin' 'n' bombin's he caused Sep 11th?! Wot then...'as he 'ad a sex-change whilst buggerin' about in them caves w' naught but men about fr comfort 'n' companionship?! Waugh! AArrrh...

Nope, booty laden be no relation ta them thar varmints. It be meanin' full o' treasure, not full o' shite, like that thar brood o' recalcitrant cave dwellers.

ROFL arghhh ye men be givin me a guts ache I be laffin' so much! This ere Seldom be a good mate ta ave on board, be 'e not? Now we's be waitin' fer Fairyy ta be joinin us too!

Maybe we should be lookin ta capture that laden fella? ta reward might be big like?

Now Capt'n ye sitting on ta big 500 are we be 'oldin' another celeeebray..shun like? First Mate Guy can be rustling up ta crew and da wimmen quick like!

Now Capt'n ye sitting on ta big 500 are we be 'oldin' another celeeebray..shun like? First Mate Guy can be rustling up ta crew and da wimmen quick like!

Yep, a celeeebray..shun would be a good idear, but it looks like it be just us a doin' of it.

I goes ashore fer a few days ta git meself a bit o' rest an' the place goes ta pot! Whar be everyone, 'ave 'em all jumped ship ta go wenchin'....swillin' rum in town??

First Mate Guy can be rustling up ta crew and da wimmen quick like!

Tried to rustle up a few, but they deserted! mate Gid went and got himself a respectable Job! Indeed! Aint nuttin more respectable than crew this fine ship!

Tried to rustle up a few, but they deserted! mate Gid went and got himself a respectable Job! Indeed! Aint nuttin more respectable than crew this fine ship!

Arrrgghh, what be this desertin' business...respectable JOB? There be nuffin' more respectable than a life-long career in piratin'....it be a sad day fer such a noble profession when swabs be jumpin' ship t' do landlubbers work.

Us'll 'ave ta make it more attractive, me thinks....extra rum rations p'raps, a proper chef in the galley....wenches 'tops' an optional extra.

Tried to rustle up a few, but they deserted! mate Gid went and got himself a respectable Job! Indeed! Aint nuttin more respectable than crew this fine ship!

oy these lads and girls be fer ta high jump fer leavin ta ship without capt'n approval, me cat now be itching ta be scratchin' em all!

me cat now be itching ta be scratchin' em all!

Get to scratching Mistress Jenny. HOw about pain a visit to that seldomseen bloke first.

Aye 'n' y' be scratchin' this here...

oy these lads and girls be fer ta high jump fer leavin ta ship without capt'n approval, me cat now be itching ta be scratchin' em all!

I be glad you be aboard, Mistress Jennifer...us be needin' a strong disciplinarian such as yourself ta restore some order 'round 'ere. Ye can be leadin' the raidin' party us sends ashore ta round up them ship jumpers an' bring 'em back....after ye 'as satisfied yer cat o' nine lust, us'll be amused by 'em doin' some ariel acrobatics orf tha yard arm.

Get to scratching Mistress Jenny. HOw about pain a visit to that seldomseen bloke first.

Gotta find 'im first....lives up to he's name, don't 'e. He be like that Scarlett Pimpernel feller....we knows he be about, but us 'ardly e'er sees 'im.

'Owever, seein' as 'ow our other Bosun jumped ship, me thinks a promotion be more in order than the cat o' nine...so seldomseen, scrape yerself up orf that thar pavement (didn't realise you'd put on so much weight) an' take yer position on deck as Bosun 1st class.

Gotta find 'im first....lives up to he's name, don't 'e. He be like that Scarlett Pimpernel feller....we knows he be about, but us 'ardly e'er sees 'im.

Aye, he showed himself. I think I be going blind for it too!  

Aye, he showed himself. I think I be going blind for it too!

I seed 'im o'er on anuvver thread...I reckoned he 'ad better git back aboard afore Mistress Jennifer takes ta flexin' 'er whippin' arm. Still not about, tho....mebbe it be a deliberate absence, so's ta git a good floggin'. Arrrgggghh, be he a man after me own 'eart, enjoyin' them thar simple pleasures in life!

Arrrgggghh, be he a man after me own 'eart, enjoyin' them thar simple pleasures in life!

E can ave ere heart! And my stomach! not that I be needin it much now.   

And my stomach! not that I be needin it much now.

What! Be 'e feelin' seasick, me ol' mate....or be it the galley wench's cookin' upsettin' yer gizzard again?

Us'll 'ave ter git ourselves a new cook, me thinks....just so long as it not be one o' them thar Froggie chefs, I were none too partial ta them snails n' frogs legs.

just so long as it not be one o' them thar Froggie chefs, I were none too partial ta them snails n' frogs legs.

They be fine eatin - when ye stand on the land. Not good with a rolling ship neath yer feet!

They be fine eatin - when ye stand on the land. Not good with a rolling ship neath yer feet!

That were what I meant...they just don't taste as good comin' back up as 'em did goin' down.

I have solved my own problem! I created my own site.....just so I could learn how to create an account on the web.

I must admit, once I got it up and running, it was a bit of a learning curve to figure out how to sign up. But I did it! I've also learned how to add pic's to my photo gallery, post in my forums, create classified ads, upload music etc. All on MY OWN SITE

The sign up was the hard part though...I must admit. They just don't explain this part well enough. Now I hope I don't log out of my own site, or I may not be able to figure out how to log back in!   

I know that this will strike you as funny....but did you know that I can pick and choose who I want to allow to register? Yep! It's true. It's amazing what you can do with an admin. panel. You don't even need to know a persons IP address. Though I still don't have a clue what that is. I can stop anyone from doing anything at any time! If anyone has a complaint? I can ignore the shit out of them.....then, bash them for months! What would Bush say? Oh, "That'll learn um."

So I've figured out a lot. But I can see that you all are busy with your little circle jerk and don't have time for anything else. That's o.k., just keep basing your opinions on absolute ignorance. That's the way to succeed in this world.

You all bore the shit out of me. But I'm sure you knew that already...you seem to know everything.

Bleh...............

Guess we won't be getting an invite then...

...oh darn my little cotton socks   

Now I hope I don't log out of my own site, or I may not be able to figure out how to log back in!

Well if it happens, you're always welcome back here for a visit, to share classifieds & photos....and nobody need see yer red face or embarrassment (unless you wanna post a webcam pic).....

Got locked out o' me cabin once and (rotundly) got stuck halfway trying ta go thru tha port 'ole ....just as well I went in feet first, or everyone would've seed me embarrassment.

You all bore the shit out of me.

So I take it from that, we won't be getting a pirate thread over there, then?

Not to worry, PC, best of luck with your site, hope it all goes well for you.

Got locked out o' me cabin once and (rotundly) got stuck halfway trying ta go thru tha port 'ole ....just as well I went in feet first, or everyone would've seed me embarrassment.

Ooooh me capt'n that be a funny picture what springin' ta me mind! I be bettin' Mrs Starkers be using her paddle on ye stuck bottom and there be nought ye can be doin bout it!

Bon Voyage Guy Pc and best o luck ta yer matey! May ye be findin many chests o booty ta fill ye pockets and wimmen ta be keepin ye bed warm!   

oh darn my little cotton socks

oy thar Fuzzy ye be givin ye sock ta the good Mrs Starkers - she be very good at darnin socks!

Aye 'n' y' be scratchin' this here...

Seldom now this ere picture ye be showin be real icky and blobby an where be ta head? I be worrin' what ye be doin wit ta head, I 'oping ye be not shrinkin' ta 'ead fer an ornament o that thar poor person!

Aint nuttin more respectable than crew this fine ship!

aye First Mate Guy this be true! Tis ta best ship in ta world!

Ooooh me capt'n that be a funny picture what springin' ta me mind! I be bettin' Mrs Starkers be using her paddle on ye stuck bottom and there be nought ye can be doin bout it!

Oh Arrggghhhh! And it were the best spankin' I ever 'ad....t'were real good 'til 'er stopped paddlin', an' I says to 'er: "Ow about ye gives it one almighty final effort ....please."

Well' er did, an' it were a beauty too....I feels a ferocious crack across me arse an' the next thing I knows be me 'ead 'ittin' the cabin door on tha other side o' the room. Not only were I nursin' an 'eadache, I could 'ardly sit down ta eat me tea....which weren't easy cos me false teeth 'ad flied out an' wasn't found 'til next morn'.