The Kat Lords - Prydean Military History

A Crazy YOR!

Interpretation provided by Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large,
Mate to Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith


No means no! I do not care how far we are out of the area the Kat Council determined as the stepping off point. We will continue to shadow their main battle group at extended sensor range. We intend to see where they are headed and as long as they do not deviate off projected course and increase speed we will not break radio silence for anything!

As CINCKATFLT2 Kat Lord Suralle was a busy individual, now the communications officer had her fur bristling from the nape of her neck down to her surprisingly trimmed tail. If he did not know any better he would say that she was coming into her time and would need to return to Prydelan soon as the scripts they all took to slow down the bodies needs were running out. Just yesterday Lord Gats-Ton had to be put in his place with a private but firm physical reminder from the blunt end of a large folstah stick that despite this vessel being his command the operation and fleet it belonged to was still my responsibility.

The Yor fleet that had been spotted weeks ago transferring troops and cargo near the fourth planets moon in the Vesta star system could not be ignored. A sally from the 2nd fleet in Operation Stymie convinced the Kat Council that the Yor were not intent on invasion of the Pryde, but not knowing who they were after was nearly as bad as not knowing they had been in the Vesta system for at least a week prior to Long Range Sensors (LRS) sweeps returned a faint echo. Currently the Pryde had 3 fleets, one always in repair status, one in home coverage, and the last in operations away from the Pryde. As the Second Fleet was in operational status Suralle "borrowed" the best sensor ship and discretely began to conduct electronic surveillance of all communications, radio and data transmissions from the Yor after Operation Stymie concluded.

Now though, a significant and sizable portion of the fleet ahead had suddenly made a radical maneuver to its projected course by turning 120 degrees in what could take it in a few weeks directly back into the Prydes sphere of influence and away from the humans sphere they were headed to. What could the fleet ahead be doing, when exactly would this vessels ECM no longer be able to hide its location and the sleek and darkened hull be revealed to what was obviously meant as a force to be dealt with.

So says Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large
Mate of Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith


Kat Fleet Starship Records (Confidential)
Ship Class: Modified Kat Industries Drak-Lir Scout Class Fighter
Crew Complement: 14 - 2 Pilots, 2 Officers, 8 Enlisted, 2 Students
Weaponry: 2 – fuselage mounted Klawsburg Mk-2 Rail Guns, 2 - wing mounted Katsklaw Mk-3 Laser Cannon.
Defenses: 1 – Fasttrack Multi-purpose ECM/ECCM system complete with Mk-3 sliding shield beam deflectors.
Modified Warp Propulsion, Sensors, and a state of the art Communications Suite coupled with the newly acquired Terran Extended Life Support system make this craft ideal for surveying and monitoring of space lanes, ensuring that vital trade links can be maintained with the other major and minor races of the galaxy.
20,389 views 25 replies
Reply #1 Top
Interpretation provided by Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large,
Mate to Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith

Lord Gats-Ton looked anxiously over at me; I remember his tail being quite rigid and ears laid back almost flat on his skull, and stated that Pryde intelligence suggested that although this particular Yor fleet had a very limited sensor range perhaps we should do an oblique turn and high-tail it in another direction. I grinned a toothy response at him reminding him that even if the Yor had poor sensors even a near blind dirt crawler would stand a chance at seeing our engine flare as we maneuvered away.

I agreed thought that we had to do something and soon, at the present rate of closure we would pass at just about three parsecs distance from the ship. Close, very close indeed. Than the electronic surveillance technician shouted out, “CRAZY YOR!” indicating that the Yor fleet had again changed course this time turning an additional 60 degrees to make their course change a full 180. The decision was made for us; we were going to ride it out. Gats-ton positively freaked, his tail bristling and lashing to and fro. I had to lay a paw on him to keep him from pacing and causing fear amongst his crew. Quietly I reminded him that fear is the mind-killer, push his fear away and show the confidence that all aspiring Kat Lords held close to themselves. Immediately Gats-Ton began issuing orders on top of his standing orders to shut down the warp drive and secure all outside and all non-essential internal electro-magnetic “signature” emanations. Would it be enough though?

So says Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large
Mate of Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith

Reply #2 Top
ummmmm..........would you like fries with that?
Reply #3 Top
Should we make Dok Lords? They could then fight it out and decide who gets to eat the food.
Reply #4 Top
Hmmm... there are pulldowns for "trolling" and "insightful" but no option to choose "insane" - this is an oversight, I presume.
Reply #5 Top
Great Story Suralle.

Tell me what for civ abilities do you give your Kat Lords?
Reply #6 Top
WOW, hey I give him points for going all out, thats whats great about this game you can just let your imagination go wild. Finish the story bro
Reply #7 Top
Nice story Suralle. Thanks for sharing.
Reply #8 Top
I love it.


Awesome stuff. I always like fan fiction of this type. I like seeing the influence of several sci-fi lines on your game play. I model my Kats after the Kzin and Thundercats.





We need a section dedicated to fan fiction like this.


This is why I love space sci-fi.
Reply #9 Top
Typically the Kats of Pryde have the following abilities:

Military Production (After all we are a racial caste system and everyone is good at what they are born to do. Some even acheieve greater status such as Lord & Lady)

Social Production (We are an outgoing race, as long as you do it our way)

Creativty (Ever wonder how it is we get into every nook and cranny?)

Lucky (And I bet you thought it was our agility and innate balance that helped us to always land on our feet)

Economics (We like shiny things, often we trade up and down for new baubles, the more lights on them the more we like them)

Espionage (The other races just love it when we purr or flick them suggestively with our tails, you don't think we actually paid them humans for that extended life support system did you, plus they are always so comfortable just stroking our fur that soon they forget we are there and run their yaps about all kinds of things... I could do you something that would curl your fur about the Thalan!)

W/R
Suralle Straykat
Kat Lord @ Large
Reply #11 Top

Transcript of Ship Comm recording from a suspected pirate ship

"We are approaching the shipping lane Captain..."
"Sensors on full power"
"What ?? What the blue moon is that ??"
"It's a Drak class fighter Captain Curt !!"
"I got a bad feeling about this ..."
"We need a bigger boat"

- End of Recording

Reply #12 Top
Interpretation provided by Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large,
Mate to Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith

As the parsecs closed Gats-Ton and my eyes were glued to the Geo-spatial Fusion Plot that was being maintained by the electronics suveillance technician (ET). The ET had patched the plot from the Fasttrack ECM/ECCM system over to the Commanders Unit. Occasionally a new line would flicker up on the glass showing the latest emanation bearing and declination to the Yorian fleet. The situation was becoming critical way to fast. Closest Point of Approach (CPA) was computed at just under 3 parsecs at a -14.5 degrees declination, although visually the fleet was approaching at 4 parsecs a week and the bearing rate was 0 or maybe just slightly, very slightly right.

Lord Gats-Ton thought we should skat immediately, personally I think he was worried about his next command position. The Kat Council frowned hard on confirming promotion on any wannabe Kat Lord to a Cruiser Captaincy as the confirmation automatically ensured a voting position on the council from then on until death. Needless to say even with Fleet Commander onboard the black mark if we survived after being caught would not bode well for him. Growling low I informed Gats-Ton to start using manuevering thrusters to gently start banking the ship to starboard and firing aft port engineering thrusters to start a very gently rolling motion of the boat over. The goal being to present the smallest ferrous metallic signature for detection from the the Yorian Magnetic Anomally Detectors (MAD). If this worked the Yor should breeze on by, a black hole in a sea of endless space nothingness.

So says Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large
Mate of Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith
Reply #13 Top
This ends the sub log of Kat Lord Suralle on the Prydean military manuever now known fleet wide as "A Crazy Yor!" As mate to Suralle and the Primary Keeper of the Faith I will attempt to post the sub log below in its entirety.

Keep the Faith,
Che-Rene Straykat
Kat Lady @ Large


Interpretation provided by Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large,
Mate to Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith


No means no! I do not care how far we are out of the area the Kat Council determined as the stepping off point. We will continue to shadow their main battle group at extended sensor range. We intend to see where they are headed and as long as they do not deviate off projected course and increase speed we will not break radio silence for anything!

As CINCKATFLT2 Kat Lord Suralle was a busy individual, now the communications officer had her fur bristling from the nape of her neck down to her surprisingly trimmed tail. If he did not know any better he would say that she was coming into her time and would need to return to Prydelan soon as the scripts they all took to slow down the bodies needs were running out. Just yesterday Lord Gats-Ton had to be put in his place with a private but firm physical reminder from the blunt end of a large folstah stick that despite this vessel being his command the operation and fleet it belonged was my responsibility.

The Yor fleet that had been spotted weeks ago transferring troops and cargo near the fourth planets moon in the Vesta star system could not be ignored. A sally from the 2nd fleet in Operation Stymie convinced the Kat Council that the Yor were not intent on invasion of the Pryde, but not knowing who they were after was nearly as bad as not knowing they had been in the Vesta system for at least a week prior to Long Range Sensors (LRS) sweeps returned a faint echo. Currently the Pryde had 3 fleets, one always in repair status, one in home coverage, and the last in operations away from the Pryde. As the Second Fleet was in operational status Suralle “borrowed” the best sensor ship and discretely began to conduct electronic surveillance of all communications, radio and data transmissions from the Yor after Operation Stymie concluded.

Now though, a significant and sizable portion of the fleet ahead had suddenly made a radical maneuver to its projected course by turning 120 degrees in what could take it in a few weeks directly back into the Prydes sphere of influence and away from the humans sphere they were headed to. What could the fleet ahead be doing, when exactly would this vessels ECM no longer be able to hide its location and the sleek and darkened hull be revealed to what was obviously meant as a force to be dealt with.

Lord Gats-Ton looked anxiously over at me; I remember his tail quite rigid and ears laid back almost flat on his skull, and stated that Pryde intelligence suggested that although this particular Yor fleet had a very limited sensor range perhaps we should do an oblique turn and high-tail it in another direction. I grinned a toothy response at him reminding him that even if the Yor had poor sensors even a near blind dirt crawler would stand a chance at seeing our engine flare as we maneuvered away.

I agreed thought that we had to do something and soon, at the present rate of closure we would pass at just about three parsecs distance from the ship. Close, very close indeed. Than the electronic surveillance technician shouted out, “CRAZY YOR!” indicating that the Yor fleet had again changed course this time turning an additional 60 degrees to make their course change a full 180. The decision was made for us; we were going to ride it out. Gats-ton positively freaked, his tail bristling and lashing to and fro. I had to lay a paw on him to keep him from pacing and causing fear amongst his crew. Quietly I reminded him that fear is the mind-killer, push his fear away and show the confidence that all aspiring Kat Lords held close to themselves. Immediately Gats-Ton began issuing orders on top of his standing orders to shut down the warp drive and secure all outside and all non-essential internal electro-magnetic “signature” emanations. Would it be enough though?

Kat Fleet Starship Records (Confidential)
Ship Class: Modified Kat Industries Drak-Lir Scout Class Fighter
Crew Complement: 14 - 2 Pilots, 2 Officers, 8 Enlisted, and 2 Students
Weaponry: 2 – fuselage mounted Klawsburg Mk-2 Rail Guns, 2 - wing mounted Katsklaw Mk-3 Laser Cannon.
Defenses: 1 – Fasttrack Multi-purpose ECM/ECCM system complete with Mk-3 sliding shield beam deflectors.
Modified Warp Propulsion, Sensors, and a state of the art Communications Suite coupled with the newly acquired Terran Extended Life Support system make this craft ideal for surveying and monitoring of space lanes, ensuring that vital trade links can be maintained with the other major and minor races of the galaxy.

Lord Gats-Ton looked anxiously over at me; I remember his tail being quite rigid and ears laid back almost flat on his skull, and stated that Pryde intelligence suggested that although this particular Yor fleet had a very limited sensor range perhaps we should do an oblique turn and high-tail it in another direction. I grinned a toothy response at him reminding him that even if the Yor had poor sensors even a near blind dirt crawler would stand a chance at seeing our engine flare as we maneuvered away.

I agreed thought that we had to do something and soon, at the present rate of closure we would pass at just about three parsecs distance from the ship. Close, very close indeed. Than the electronic surveillance technician shouted out, “CRAZY YOR!” indicating that the Yor fleet had again changed course this time turning an additional 60 degrees to make their course change a full 180. The decision was made for us; we were going to ride it out. Gats-ton positively freaked, his tail bristling and lashing to and fro. I had to lay a paw on him to keep him from pacing and causing fear amongst his crew. Quietly I reminded him that fear is the mind-killer, push his fear away and show the confidence that all aspiring Kat Lords held close to themselves. Immediately Gats-Ton began issuing orders on top of his standing orders to shut down the warp drive and secure all outside and all non-essential internal electro-magnetic “signature” emanations. Would it be enough though?

As the parsecs closed Gats-Ton and my eyes were glued to the Geo-spatial Fusion Plot that was being maintained by the electronics surveillance technician (ET). The ET had patched the plot from the Fasttrack ECM/ECCM system over to the Commanders Unit. Occasionally a new line would flicker up on the glass showing the latest emanation bearing and declination to the Yorian fleet. The situation was becoming critical way to fast. Closest Point of Approach (CPA) was computed at just under 3 parsecs at a -14.5 degrees declination, although visually the fleet was approaching at 4 parsecs a week and the bearing rate was 0 or maybe just slightly, very slightly right.

Lord Gats-Ton thought we should skat immediately, personally I think he was worried about his next command position. The Kat Council frowned hard on confirming promotion on any wannabe Kat Lord to a Cruiser Captaincy as the confirmation automatically ensured a voting position on the council from then on until death. Needless to say even with Fleet Commander onboard the black mark if we survived after being caught would not bode well for him. Growling low I informed Gats-Ton to start using maneuvering thrusters to gently start banking the ship to starboard and firing aft port engineering thrusters to start a very gently rolling motion of the boat over. The goal of this roll was to present the smallest active radar signature to the incoming fleet, additionally we wanted our nose cone as the lead body pointing toward the Yorians. Given that the nose cone was made from a state of the art nylon-phenol ceramic compound with multi-latticed weaves the ability of the Yorian Magnetic Anomaly Detectors (MAD) should be theoretically hampered even further. If everything worked as I planned, the Yor should breeze right on by, with us being nothing more than a black hole in a sea of endless nothingness.

Waiting is the hardest part though, several times over the next couple of sleep cycles and crew rotations Lord Gats-Ton and I had to employ light taps of our folstah command sticks to prompt them to continue their functions and conduct themselves as proper Kats. I have to admit, the nervous tingle I felt run up and down my spine as CPA came and left was most delicious, especially when I overheard Gats-Ton order the pilot to ¼ impulse power for a maneuver that brought us even closer to the fleet. Fortune was with us though as just after we slowed the Yor made a maneuver to their starboard and passed again within CPA a couple of hours later. Lord Gats-ton had effectively placed us exactly where the Yor had been thereby reducing our Ion trail even further. A nice piece of work on his part that reminded me of why he had been promoted from his previous enlisted engineering position to a command rank. I will have to remember to place an entry into his service jacket and for that matter a scaled down entry into the ships log commending the crew for making this small portion of the mission successful.

So says Che-Rene,
Kat Lady @ Large
Mate of Suralle,
Primary Keeper of the Kat Faith
Reply #14 Top
Prydean Space Defense Force
Tests New Anti Ship Missile Defense System

The Prydean Space Defense Force (PSDF) conducted the ninth trial of the current Kat Industries designed "Cats-Eye" missile defense system and the 14th overall test firing of the Cats-Eye interceptor missile at 083017MAY2225 SLT (Space Local Time). The test, deemed a success, was witnessed by Terran Officials involved in the Block 2 model of the Cats-Eye interceptor missile destroying an inbound Terran Harpoon target missile launched by the TSS Never Sail off the star system Vesta during Operation Stymie. Experts speculated that the Harpoon was programmed to simulate flight of the Yorian Anti-Ship missile system code-named "Blue-Death".

At 082817MAY2225 SLT, the interceptor, with a new electronic package and software blocks co-produced by Kat Industries and Terran Spatial Dynamics, was launched from Prydean’s 1st class rated Star Cruiser "Stray Kat". The launch marked the first flight for this latest model of the interceptor missile, referred to as the "Cats-Eye 3" by Jo-Lene’s Space Week & Space Technologies Digest. The Cats-Eyes Slotted Long-Range Radar (SLAR2) detected the inbound Terran Harpoon Missile and relayed the information to the battle management center aboard the "Stray Kat" which calculated the intercept point and fed the data to the interceptor’s guidance system and then cueing the launch at the appropriate moment.

Both Prydean and Terran Defense Agencies as well as Kat Industries and Spatial Dynamics singularly described the successful test firing as "Beautiful", noting that the test highlighted four areas of success: governmental and industrial cooperation, logistical support, systems integration and hailed the successful intercept as "an important performance milestone [for the Cats-Eye Defense Weapons System.]"

Reported by,
Lady Liz-Anne Gats-Ton
Mate to Anue
Keeper of the Faith
Reply #15 Top
And then they all had mad furry secks, because thats just what furries do.
Reply #16 Top
And then they all had mad furry secks, because thats just what furries do.


Normally I ignore this type of comment, but hey, there is a reason why the Terrans are helping the Pryde so much. It sure isn't because they have to. So I could believe that they may want something a bit more. They story isn't going that way yet. However, if that is your taste Argus may I recommend that you read up on:
Ms. Lisanne Norman - Author of the Sholan Alliance.

W/R
Suralle Straykat
Kat Lord @ Large

PS: One would think for someones first post in these forums that you could have been a bit more intune with GC2.
Reply #17 Top
One would also think that this isnt ones first post within these forums

I do commend you for developing what would appear to actually be an almost RP-esque take on the game, but good lord does this just look like a "zomg furries in space" approach that is.. almost masturbatory (no, I dont mean the word that way, I mean in that sort of self-aggrandizing way). Kat this, cat that, and the constant "Hey, weve got tails and fur" thing really gives it that air, to the point of almost achieving the exclusivity that "furry" communities tend to develop due to their generally 'deviant' label they achieve on the internet. And come on, you have to admit that lines like "Lord Gats-Ton looked anxiously over at me; I remember his tail quite rigid and ears laid back almost flat on his skull" -reek- of sexual tension, which further gives it the whole "Furry" impression.

All that aside, Hey, kudos for the whole thing youve got going, it would almost make me want to write up my own stories of how my own custom race plays out in the universe. This just.. ugh. yeah.
Reply #18 Top
Your second post was much better and well thought out.

Now as to the tail and ears, just before either of my house cats mock attacks their tails bristle and the lay their ears flat against their skulls. Cats Eyes... slotted eyes. Slot Radar...

The author Lisanne is a real author and quite a read.

W/R
Suralle Straykat
Kat Lord @ Large
Reply #19 Top
***** Breaking News ----- Breaking News *****

While on a routine trading expedition in route to the Sol Star System, the Yor Trade Ship “YSS Crimson Skies” exploded at 103618MAY2225 SLT and is presumed lost in space with all ‘bots. The trade ship was carrying a full load of spatial aviation fuel “SP-105”, as part of an interim trade agreement with the Terran Confederation. It should be noted that “SP-105” is considered by many to be deadly toxic when exposed to humans and humanoids, as such only non-sentient races can effectively distill and produce this fuel that gives an extra kick to Fusion Star Drive Systems. Five (5) Yor Collective Warships of the heavy fighter and small escort cruiser size were escorting the “Crimson Skies” when the purported incident occurred.

In a statement issued this morning by an obviously irritated leader, the President of the Yor Collective, N-1, stated that she does not believe that this explosion was an accident. “It has become increasingly obvious that there are certain powers willing to engage in dirty tactics to bolster their hold on the Delta Quadrant. Now it seems that murder is not beyond them. The Yorian Navy will pursue these flesh creatures in an aggressive patrol pattern in an effort to find the race responsible for this attack.”

President N-1 refused to name the race she feels is responsible, but only the three known races, the Prydean, Akilians, and Terrans have significant military forces in the Delta Quadrant and only the Akilians have shown any interest in cargo traffic headed to Sol. Deadlines are quickly approaching for the before mentioned races to submit detailed electronic logs and produce striking visual evidence as to their fleets and ship locations in relative position to the Yorian Task Force. This delivery of spatial aviation fuel was a critical component in the terms of N-1's bid to bolster the United Planets (UP) decision to limit evil nations trade. It is unclear whether the Yor Collective will now be able to meet the Terran interim trade agreement terms now prior to the next meeting of the UP General Council Members.

The Akilians leader, Ayatollah Achilles, stated that although his race and culture is small in stature, they derive much of their energy and determination from the Terran Confederations Arabica Plant. Which without continued shipments could cause grave economic harm to his planets culture. Achilles further refuted the allegations strongly. "The ship was escorted by military vessels from the Yor Collective, how could any military ship of ours plant an explosive and escape without being seen? Impossible. A tanker of fuel is quite dangerous. This is surely an accident."

Reported By,
Lady Liz-Anne Gats-Ton
Mate to Anue
Keeper of the Faith
Reply #20 Top
FROM: Prydean Space Defense Force, CINCKATFLT2…..1153SLT18MAY25
TO: All PDS Units
Priority: Routine
Classification: Whisker
Subject: “Activity” reported on near orbit Terran Space Satellites

Text:
Activity was reported on all near orbit Terran Space Satellites, decrypted below is the gist of what the Kat Lord Council was able to “obtain” from the transmissions.

All vessels are reminded to close only within necessary range to the satellites, as the next “accidental” collision sequence of near orbit objects is not scheduled until 26JUN25.

Signed,
Suralle Straykat
Mate to Che-Rene
Kat Lord @ Large

To be destroyed by proper and designated authority only.
Classification: Whisker



LDU849XXXSLFROADTTAD********…….1123SLT18MAY25
**************FLASH TRAFFIC FOLLOWS***************

FROM: Supreme Allied Command (SAC) Terran Space Agency (TSA)
TO: All Terran Space Commands
Priority: Urgent
Classification: UTSLCSS
Subject: PDS Stray Kat Destroys 1 and Captures 1 Pirate Vessel in vicinity of the Kilia Star System

Text:
The following information is forwarded via hyperlink comsat for dissemination on a need to know for all commanding officers and their respective staff who have obtained UTSLCSS security ratings.

Two Prydean Defense Starships exchanged laser cannon and railgun fire this morning with five small fighter and heavy fighter pirate vessels in the vicinity of the Kilia Stary System destroying one and capturing one other prior to three more pirate vessels self-destructing after all weapons and propulsion systems had been destroyed. Boarding parties from the Pryde reported surprise that the pirates had the self-discipline to destruct their vessels prior to capture. No numerical loss of life of the Prydean marine defense force has been reported.

The pirate ship not destroyed and subsequently captured was totally devoid of living inhabitants and our cultural attaches to the Kat Lords are currently seeking more knowledge as to the pirate vessels log data and navigation systems spatial coordinates prior to the engagement.

Ships Commanders, Officers, and Crew with the necessary clearance should be briefed on this situation with additional training being provided for new crewmembers on deep space watches. Additionally, a senior officer shall be present on all TSA ships including the “Midnight Cowboy” watch rotation.

Signed,
Space Admiralty

**************End Flash Traffic******************

To be destroyed by proper and designated authority only.
Classification: UTSLCSS

Reply #21 Top
... conversation over-heard at a rouge asteriod output somewhere in the Delta quad...

" Hey, did ya see the flash from that missle test them kittens did???"
"Whatta big poof, just an ~Influence Blast~ if in ya ask me..."
" It is weird Al, these felines and terrans all buddy-buddy now..."
" Well, we'll see how long before the nice little kitty bites the clueless monkeys!!!"
" HEY FRANG, We needs sum refills ova heer..burp..."

Reply #22 Top
Bump - "Hey watchout ya toad"

common conversation in pirate drinking holes
Reply #23 Top
Keep up the good work, Suralle. The Kat Lords are purrfectly intriguing. Ignore that atrocious pun... I couldn't help myself.

But why oh why are the terrans so ... dim?
Reply #24 Top
Are they or are they mearly playing the houses "Great Game".

W/R
Suralle

Similarity could be drawn toward our own intelligence services no matter what country you live in. Just because you think your getting cable for free, doesn't mean that someone (other than the cable company) doesn't know. They have just decided to file it for future use, JIC.
Reply #25 Top
Indeed.

How perfectly terrifying to think that in some datafile in some databank in some government server, THEY KNOW! Gasp! I'll never watch Cinemax again.