The Versatility of Vodka

It is not just for old ladies any more

from JoeUser Forums

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter, then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

12. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

13. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

14. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the oil from your skin.

15. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

But...........
 
16. NEVER DRINK THE STUFF - IT'LL KILL YOU!!

 

humor
15,599 views 25 replies
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

hic..... too late for #16

Yea, how many little old ladies do you see living another 70 years? Eh?

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yea, how many little old ladies do you see living another 70 years? Eh?


I see lotsa pink camels
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
hic..... too late for #16





For me too....gotta have my vodka and OJ!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Tonight's plan:
Rent bad sci-fi movie
Get tanked
Make fun of said movie with gf while tanked
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
So many uses, yet I can't see it going anywhere but in my stomach
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

I see lotsa pink camels

Well, dont say I did not warn you!

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

For me too....gotta have my vodka and OJ!

For my Wife it is a Cosmopolitan.

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Tonight's plan:
Rent bad sci-fi movie
Get tanked
Make fun of said movie with gf while tanked

That's my Zoomba!

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

So many uses, yet I can't see it going anywhere but in my stomach

Are you old enough?  Or is it bootleg in celebration of the new GG?

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Are you old enough? Or is it bootleg in celebration of the new GG?


Yeah, I just turned 18 a couple weeks ago, and I'm lucky to live in Manitoba. And it's mostly for when I get home from work.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yeah, I just turned 18 a couple weeks ago, and I'm lucky to live in Manitoba. And it's mostly for when I get home from work.

No wonder you hate the US!  It is 21 everywhere here.  But in Mexico...

I took my sons down there last summer.  My oldest (19 now, but 18 then) wanted to do just one thing.  Go into a bar and order "una cerveza por favor".  He went into a strip joint called the Green door!  NO strippers were in there at that time (bummer for him I know).

Celebrate your new GG!  Just dont drive, ok?

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Aahh, vodka. Reminds me of the time when I was starting my second year of college and my mother came to visit the apartment I shared with 3 others. For some reason she was opening some cupboards (maybe to see if we had any food) and saw a bottle of vodka. My response to her question "What is this?" was: "Umm, we use that for cooking."
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

My response to her question "What is this?" was: "Umm, we use that for cooking."

Very good!  Quick on your feet!  You learned well in college.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
hic..... too late for #16

My thoughts exactly. It's not about spraying vodka on vomit stains when it's the mysterious disappearance of said vodka that probably caused the stains
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
No wonder you hate the US! It is 21 everywhere here. But in Mexico...


Don't worry, we get a lot of college students coming up here from Minneapolis on spring break and spending their money for some reason...
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

My thoughts exactly. It's not about spraying vodka on vomit stains when it's the mysterious disappearance of said vodka that probably caused the stains

Told you it was deadly!

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

Don't worry, we get a lot of college students coming up here from Minneapolis on spring break and spending their money for some reason...

I bet they are illegally smuggling booze back to the lower 48 in their stomachs too!

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, Doc, I'm a big drinker so I will disagree with #16. But I will tell you I only drink on those cold nights and you know how cold it gets on the Mexico border.

btw .. I hope the first 15 were true cause I'm going to try them.



Here's how much I like vodka.
One day I found a bottle. I rubbed it and out came a genie. The genie said, "I will grant you 2 wishes."

I said, "I like Russian vodka. So I guess I'll take a glass of that." POOF! I had a glass of vodka!

To my surprise, once I finished the glass it refilled by itself, "Wow! It refilled itself!" The genie said, "Of course! It's a magic glass. It will never run out of vodka."

I exclaimed, "Great! I'll have another one of these!"
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
When ur outta Vodka and wondrin how good Binding Spring Bock still is these days, u can still give it a try. Binding was sold to Henninger about 2 years ago. But it still tastes like Binding. Glad Henninger still keeps up good clubs in Frankfurt or helps them, even though everybody bashfully says there they only have Kaiser Pilsener so as not to tell u its a beer by Henninger. This is confusing, isn´t it? Binding still kept its name, Henninger taste is now Kaiser Pilsener, they also market Highlander from Scotland and their rather good Henninger Malz Beer (sweet malt beer without (much) alcohol, if you are in a car accident, ur blood test still shows some though = Gärungskohlensäure, consult chemist for translation)

Although ur question when was Binding sold was a response to a half on topic comment of mine on Draginols long thread, my answer would have been off there, so I found this somewhat on topic guest book of yours here, another delight, to put it instead... Cheers (not the TV series, another sidetrack, no the prosit burp)
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
Not sure if this has a practical use or not, but you can dip a piece of paper in vodka and light it on fire. The vodka will burn but the paper won't
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
Gee! Might be good to keep the paper for burning later because of heating problems in the Great White North, unless the vodka flame 1st melts ur iglo(u). Also might be nice to make the paper burn and keep the v.. If I find out how I will mail it to Bob n Doug McKenzie or MacLaine n MacLaine. Greetings from beer resort to vodka vault
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

I exclaimed, "Great! I'll have another one of these!"

*Groan*

Guess we are going to have to send you some thermal blankets to keep you warm!

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

Gärungskohlensäure

Blood alcohol level.  Literally, Fermentation carbonic acid.

Thanks for the update.  LIke I said, it has been a long time since I was frequenting the GastHauses of Frankfurt am Main.

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

Not sure if this has a practical use or not, but you can dip a piece of paper in vodka and light it on fire. The vodka will burn but the paper won't

Remind me never to eat paper while drinking Vodka!