Ode to the Shepherd Snort

-or- the blasto-booger, the snot-rocket

from JoeUser Forums
I will apologize up front to all true poets out there. This is a farce, a ridiculous attempt that I would never call poetry for fear of insulting real poetry out there. But I had fun.

Congested nose, all plugged with snot
I walk, barely breathing, through the parking lot
I sniffle and snuffle
Eyes blurry, I shuffle
A Kleenex, a Kleenex I cry to the sky
Wondering why did I not bring one, why?
I can take it no more, I must get it out
A devious plan erases my pout
Look to the left, look to the right
Make sure no one is in sight
Plug one side and turn my head
Blow as my face turns bright red
With great velocity and force
The great green glob is expelled, no remorse
And suddenly, sweetly and oh so amazing
The air flows freely, I feel like praising
The Grand Shepherd Snort, you served me again
You ne'er let me down, true to the end
humor
4,660 views 2 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Nice. Well I'm glad you felt better, at least. Good thing you put that disclaimer up there (nicely done, in the microscopic font, I might add).

Now, are you trying to tell me that THIS is the sort of thing you look forward to teaching your son???
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
No, I think that he will instinctively know this. I need to remember to stay one step ahead.
Sins of a Solar Empire II