I thought about it for a while, not really sure what I should do.. Then I said to hell with it and decided I'd install steam and await Rebellion... Little did I know, that it would be my computer tower itself that would rebel! The moment I opened the steam exe, my computer suddenly shuddered and made these strange noises.. Then, without warning (ignoring the shuddering and voices?) it jumped up off of my desk and transformed into a 6 foot tall robot of evael. Not knowing what to do, aside from jumping back and throwing books at it (I am a black-belt in bookfu afterall), all of which it easily blocked. So standing there stammering to say something witty, at times like those I draw in on what Jack Burton would say at a time like that, but just before I could the damned thing spit out my Big Trouble in Little China dvd at me, striking me across the bridge of my nose.
Staggered, I took a moment to catch my balance, only.. I took too long! The Steam powered evael machine noticed my discombobulated state and seized the opening with a devastating shoulder charge to my midsection! However, at the last possible moment I caught my balance and came crashing down with a thunderous elbow upon the back of the machine! It crumbled down to one knee, at which time I took a moment to say, "What now bitch!? Yeah looks like you aren't so big and ba-" before I could finish my glorious taunt of epicausity, the bastard struck hard on my unprotected foot, causing a surge of pain so sudden that I bit my tongue. Painful. I think I taste bloo- and before I could even finish that thought, I was struck again, this time straight in the region of my testicular fortitude, which forced me to lean forward in agony, only to have my head grabbed and locked into position for a DDT through the air and into my desk.
So there I lay, foot hurting, tongue bleeding, testicular fortitude in question, head aching, pride uncertain, I use the last ounce of my strength to stare at the damned thing and utter, "The checks in the mail--" then it was lights out. The next thing I knew I was a petite blonde with pigtails staring into a window staring into myself staring into a mirror. I looked down at myself from head to toe and I could feel a tear starting to well up in my right eye, then.. the mirror shattered with the Steam powered fist of the evael machine, I just got sucker punched! The End.