Did you know that that is possible in .0000025 of a second if you consume 200 grams of plutonium enriched Kellogs ALL-Bran washed down with a cup of the Tea Party's own Irish Breakfast?

Wow! Talk about a toxic master blast. Wasn't it you who decried competition?

Yup, but would you believe they disqualified me anyway... for having waaay too much experience?

How do you over qualify to be a Fartster?

Well you wouldn't say I was under qualified, would you?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........................no

So, how do you get a lying politician to break the sound barrier?

Make him tell the truth? The scream alone should easily achieve 660 mph at altitude. Without a parachute. 

Since when has making a politician tell the truth ever been possible?

I mean, if the truth come up and slapped a politician in the kisser, would he/she even recognise it?

Will it have dollar signs on it?

Why would it have dollar signs on it?

Like don't politicians do everything for a quick buck?

Like don't quick bucks start out as slow butts...err...bucks then graduate to quick bucks after the politico gets done reamin' them?

Isn't that why proctologists always have plenty of work, cos politicians are busy 'reaming' whoever they can whenever they can?

So you're saying we should invest in proctology futures? Isn't that like putting the ass before the donkey?

And shouldn't we be more like Jesus, and go into the market place [read Wall St] and beat the greedy rich with the jawbone of an ass?

Tons of people are doing all that and not only on Wall St. Its spreading all over the country. Think the guy that sells ass jawbones is gonna make a killin'?

So what about the bloke who's just selling ass, do you think he'll make a killing, or will it be the bloke behind him selling Vaseline?

Do you think the bloke behind him took the sand out of the Vaseline? Because if he didn't he'll do like that alligator did. Lose his mind. lol

Would the bloke behind consider using axle grease instead of sandy Vaseline... or wouldn't he care less if it felt like the rough end of a pineapple?

Isn't that akin to a club with razor blades embedded in it? Talk about bloody Ouch!

Have you ever been to a club that not only has razor blades in it, but hot showers and a bidet, too... and for a bit extra, there's a topless massage on offer if ya want it?

A topless massage? Don't they do the bottom too? Oh right...must be the half price sale. Getting close to the holidays and sales are everywhere. Do they have take out?

Would a hand in a pocket with a hole in it be classified as a massage to go?

If the pocket is high enough I suppose. Are you auditioning?