Is a thinking redneck a contradiction in terms

How many contradictions would a redneck have to make before he was considered contrary?

One?

So if he committed a dozen or so, he'd be downright cantankerous???

Just curious, if I get tired of waiting and answer my own question, is it breaking the rules?

Does a real pirate really care?

Does a caring pirate give a hoot?

If there was such a thing as a hooting pirate, would he give a hoot, hoot in the hope of trapping an owl as a mate for his lonesome parrot?

If your lonesome parrot is named GoodFellow does that mean he is gender challenged?

If your aunt had balls, would she be your uncle?

If your uncle was a hermaphrodite, would you bill him as the star in a XXX circus act?

Would he birth his own children?

If your hermaphrodite uncle upset you enough, would you tell him to go fornicate himself?

And did he enjoy hiding the salami with himself 9 months earlier?

He gave birth to salami kids? Wow!

Now how could he have given birth to salami kids with his frankfurter in the way?

Frankfurter? I thought they was hotdogs. Does he know that hotdogs and Frankfurters go hand in hand?

Have you ever been caught with your hotdog in hand?

And what if the cops caught you in the park with your frankfurter in your hand, could they charge you with public indecency???

Does it count if I eat my hotdog but save the frankfurter for when armaggedon comes after starker barks us to oblivion?

Are you guys crazy, or am I?

What if we 3 were the only sane ones and the rest of the world was crazy?

And should we form a government because we're the only sane ones left on the planet?

Hmmm, would any of us feel right if we became that which we've hated so intensely for so many years?

Oh, and on a side note: if a redneck goes green around the gills from eating something that's a bit off, is he still a redneck?

There's a clip above the belt.

Yes we are the only sane ones on the planet because no one else comes up with these nonsensical whimsies...or...do they?

If the politicos of the world did it would they be considered right, left or middle of the road?

Do they even know what a road is other than the one they run down to get their collective butts re-elected?

And if somebody else came up with nonsensical whimsies, would they even understand them?

If politicos came to a fork in the road and went both ways at the same time it would be funny, wouldn't it?

Besides finding roads to run down one to get re-elected, don't politicians find roads mostly to tax them ?

What will the politicos do once they've taxed the s**t out of everything on the planet and there's nothing left to tax?

Will they tax their brains?

Will they tax their gonads?

Will they tax their wives, husbands, same gender partners, dogs, cats ,mice, cockatoos and teals?

Or, what everyone hopes they'll do ... tax themselves out of existence?

How is any of this relevant?

If the politicos taxed the S**T out of everything, wouldn't they end up with an enormous pile of manure? (and deservedly so)

If politicos taxed their own brains, wouldn't the have to set a rate of 99.9% to see any return at all?

With balls as big as, wouldn't they get bigger returns from taxing lawyers and bankers gonads instead?

Wouldn't they just tax ex-wives, ex-husbands and ex-same gender partners with more than one pet.. any pets to claw back what they paid out in divorce settlements?

So where's the celebratory party going to be, then?

Relevant?  Well it's your/our money they're spending up big on, is it not?