is there any way u can giv your ai allys comands
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Yep.
Select a friendly AI ship or planet.
You now have 3 options in the unit command menu. Defend, Attack and Cancel.
With the Defend option you can give the AI the order to defend a planet (or ship).
With the Attack option you can give the AI the order to attack a planet (or ship).
With the Cancel option, you'll cancel the current order you have given the AI (attack or defend).
AFAIK you can only have one order running with an AI at the same time. Also the AI needs time to gather a fleet and move to the location where it should do it's duties. So it can take some time.