UNDERWEAR IS NOT A CHRISTIAN GARMENT

yours may be holey but it sure aint holy

from JoeUser Forums
DESPITE SO-CALLED "PROOF" CREATED BY LOW-LIFE HOLLYWOOD SCIENTISTS WHO SUPPORT THE CARD-CARRYING AL-QAEDA KERRY BY PUTTING BAKING SODA IN HOLY WATER EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS NO BAKING SODA WHEN JESUS WAS ALIVE, UNDERWEAR WAS INVENTED BY POPE TONY SOPRANO IN ORDER TO MAKE MONEY TO BUY PORNOGRAPHY PICTURES MADE IN THE EVIL HOMOSEXUAL CAPITAL OF THE ANCIENT WORLD, POMPEI.

THE ORIGINAL THRACIAN WORD FOR UNDERWEAR IS 'CAR-REE' BUT IT WAS WORN BY VESTAL VIRGINS WHO EVERYONE KNOWS WERE NOT VIRGINS TO PREVENT MORE PUBLIC EXPOSURE OF BUSH. THIS WAS A WORD NEVER SPOKEN BY JESUS WHO ONLY SPOKE ENGLISH AFTER KING JAMES KILLED THE COCKROACH-INFESTED FRENCH HERETICS WHO HELD ANCIENT FILM FESTIVALS AT WHICH THEY GAVE THE MOST CORRUPT BABY-KILLING, MATTRESS-TAG-RIPPING HEATHENS THE SATANIC PALM D'HAIR.

DON'T BE FOOLED BY SUBSTITUTES. ALSO MANY SO CALLED CHRISTIAN SLATER'S ADDED THEIR DISGUSTING ANTI-AMERICAN AND PRO-KERRY SO-CALLED 'PRAYER'--ACTUALLY THEY 'LENT' IT--TO THE CLIFF NOTES BIBLE.: GOOD BREAD GOOD MEAT GOOD LAWD LETS EAT.

SO IN CONCLUSION, NO TRUE CHRISTIAN EATS UNDERWEAR.
humor
18,997 views 15 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
OMG ...can't breathe laughing too much.

Jess
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

head spinning...must..reach..utility..blog...

Offworld Trading Company
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
thou hast made me smile as well.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
so ... all good christians shouldn't wear it or eat it?

Jess
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
while there isnt a lot of scriptural authority to guide us in this quandry, it isnt imprudent to rely upon hanes IV 14-15 nay, let not thyself be bound by fabric that giveth not, nor take to thy stomach fruits of the loometh
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Is this supposed to be a parody of someone you think needs to cool(ey) down the rhetoric?

Would I be a party-pooper to point out that a simple word search on "loins" would reveal many biblical statements regarding underwear? Such as the ever popular:

And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs they shall reach (Exodus 28:42)

Okay... then I won't mention it... let the frivolity resume.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
naw this all came to me in a vision long before i ever knew marvin existed actually.

youre gonna have to wait til i have more insightful points to hand out cuz running a search for loins to find underwear refs in the bible really deserves something. maybe points wont help tho hahahahah
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Man, you're really on a roll

to paraphearse the great old reluctant blues singer fred mcdowell. when da spirit is upon you....you gotsa move
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
paraphrase too
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
>>naw this all came to me in a vision long before i ever knew marvin existed actually.

Ah, The Gospel of Jim (Palmer) as revealed to Kingbee. Gotcha. Just wondered.

>>running a search for loins to find underwear refs in the bible really deserves something

What's scarier, that I performed the search or that I knew what to search for?

Some other interesting non-underwear stuff came up, such as:

My little finger shall be thicker than my father's loins. (1 Kings 12:10)

Either his finger's as big as Uma Thurman's thumbs in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues or daddy was lucky to get any at all.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
What's scarier, that I performed the search or that I knew what to search for?

im still not sure. either way you been officially designated insightful
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks for the comment. You were right about the sushi thing. Good excuse to eat junkfood, fresh food just isn't safe. I could go some underwear actually...Your roadtrip sounds way more interesting than mine. goddamn.

Good article, lucky i have a change of underwear. good to see so many other people found it funny and i havent just got mad. I was getting worried when vegans started to amuse me.

love Dyl xxx
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
them damn vegans.

im actually kinda envying you your trip. its been a while since i done had the highway blues.

thnx for droppin by.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh my gosh, I wish you all had elections every year it brings out the best(?!) in you:)

And can I just say, Christian or not: Thank God for underwear, many a hairy situation has been avoided by keeping bush safe and tucked away, lets hope this continues. I vote to keep the bush under wraps.