JU Writing Challenge #2: Spreading red

-or- and exercise in one sentence

from JoeUser Forums
Fascinated, she watched the pool of red liquid continue to spread until she realized the dead don't drink.
writing
2,486 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hmm . . .

I know you said this was weak, but I found it fascinating. Genuinely.

Love the "excercise in one sentence". Gonna have to start doing that myself . . . trying to fit everything you want to say into one litte phrase is impressive . . . just as long as your "excercise in one sentence" doesn't turn into El otoño del patriarca by Gabriel García Márquez. Three hundred pages, one long sentence . . .
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I have always been a fan of the one liner, which you seem to have mastered here.
Galactic Civilizations IV
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Not weak at all, mate. Well thought out and concise.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks for the comments.  There are still some things that bug me with this sentence, but it was actually an interesting exercise.  Glad you enjoyed it.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Now I'm wondering if she is having a zombie experience because of someone else or she herself is dead?! Interesting!