Moronic Gamespot Reviews

from GalCiv2 Forums
I find it fun to check the user reviews for GalCiv 2 on gamespot every so often. The best ones are the low rated. As I read the ones rated about 5 or lower, I notice certain things.

1. Most say it is slow or boring. I don't know what they expected pace wise form the game, I don't think they understood that Galactic Civilizations 2 is not pronouced "Quake" when they bought it.

2. Most complain about how MOO2 was better graphics wise. I think they either didn't realize that you can zoom in from Icon level, or are actively lieing to pad thier review.

3. Most complain that there are no tutorials. I don't get thsi one (one even complained that the manual was too long, I shudder to think of what will happen when school requiers him to read a book).

4. Most either cannot spell or they cannot form complete sentences, while typing LIKE THIS!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!! THIS GAME SUXZORS!!!!!!!!. I don't mind a mistake here or there, but I don't think some of them even tried.

5. Many reviews seem to be based off the demo (as many say so outright).

6. Most give the impression that they never figured out that you can buy ships or structures to decrease time.

7. Most try to qualify thier poor argument by explaining how they play all sorts of games of all types (but they usually can't match a game with the correct genere if they try), and thus should be treated as an impartial reviewer.

Not all are like that, there are a few that actually make a point, or sound somewhat rational. It is fun though to see the new lows in creativity they come up with!
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Reply #1 from GalCiv2 Forums Top
I like reading negative reviews. They often do a good job of selling the game for me--if the complaints make no damn sense, I usually get the game. The graphics thing is a good example--if people dislike the graphics in GC2, and I don' care, that bad review would basically not be saying anything bad--hell, it's almost a compliment. What if I had a lower-end computer and needed worse graphics to play it at all?

For a better (but long and rambling and basically pointless) example (I'm bored  ), take Final Fantasy X2. The bad reviews for the game consistently cite the following:
1)Offended by "girl power theme"
2)Offended by ATB system
3)Offended that Yuna didn't spend the last two years mourning Tidus and doing nothing else
4)Offended specifically that Yuna is a pop singer
5)Offended by each class changing costumes and the job system in general
6)Offended by "fanservice"
7)Offended by music not being from Nobuo Uematsu
8)Offended by non-linear nature of game

Those reviews sold the game for me. Why?
1)Lies. I've yet to encounter ANY gender-specific character emphasis, just main characters who are strong and who, by coincidence, happen to be female. Granted I'm only at the near-end of Chapter 2, but there hasn't even been a simple "this needs a woman's touch" or guy-who-gets-condescending-and-is-rebuked-harshly scene. And even if the complaints were true, it's not like I care.

2)The ATB system is good, and it's actually done exceptionally well in this game.

3)This complaint says more about the reviewer than the game. "Girls must be weepy and helpless so they don't notice I'm an asshole, and I can't get real girls so I want imaginary girls to be like that too!"

4)So there's character development, and Yuna likes to sing. Why is this a problem? Also, I've yet to play a single Final Fantasy that didn't have a musician character and/or job class.

5)Job system similar to Final Fantasy Tactics or 5 = total awesome.

6)Okay, so their default costumes are fanservicey. I've usually got them as Black Mages in battle, and even if they were always almost naked, I still wouldn't care.

7)Well this is a good point, but I personally have never paid that much attention to the music, so it doesn't matter to me much.

8)This is a good thing.



So, there you have it, a long and nearly irrelevant rant which highlights the usefulness of negative reviews but doesn't actually mean anything on a GC2 forum. (Again, I'm pretty bored right now, and it's not like you had to read that.  )
Reply #2 from GalCiv2 Forums Top
I like writing negative reviews because there are far too many fanboish reviews. People need to see both sides of the game in light and darkness. Since there is already too much light for them I tend to go to the DARK SIDE. But, if a game is really good and I really can't see any really negative qualities in them then I usually give it good credits. From all the emails I have gotten heh both good and bad I have a pretty large following now for my reviews. Many people actually like knowing what negative to expect in the game that fanbois usually cover up or say doesn't exist.

For instance Oblivion when it first came out got raving reviews from the hit sites as well as the fanboi base. But, as a little time wore on the fanboi's started turning on Oblivion and said it didn't deliver what Morrowind did. Something I clearly stated in my reviews right after the game first came out. Of course I was tagged as a troll lol. Truth always hurts, but, still it should be told.
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from GalCiv2 Forums Top
3. Most complain that there are no tutorials. I don't get thsi one (one even complained that the manual was too long, I shudder to think of what will happen when school requiers him to read a book).


Should they be requiered to spell thsi correctly as reviewers?

(but they usually can't match a game with the correct genere if they try)


Is it only the French who would say "genre"?

Not all are like that, there are a few that actually make a point, or sound somewhat rational.


Should sentences not run on?

Feud, I'm only joking! I totally agree with your assessment!

Reply #4 from GalCiv2 Forums Top
lol Yeah, I'm horrible at typing and spelling. I guess #4 is a little hypocritical, but I stand by it!
Reply #5 from GalCiv2 Forums Top
Hahahaha!!!! I just read a handfull of those bad gamspot reviews and I was appaled by those guy's ignorance. " Oh the games too wordy" and "the tutorials are too complicated and the manueles too long". They're gonna have a hard time in school when they have too actually read a real book. They're gonna complain to their teachers, "hey this history book has too many words". Guess their gonna be serving my fries and burgers at burger king, if they aren't already.