11 years of hell

from JoeUser Forums
It feels so heavenly,
but then again,
I've never been to heaven,
and I stopped believing in hell when I turned eleven,
surely that's a guaranteed one way ticket straight the fiery basement,
but for now all that will be allowed is my feet carrying me atop the pavement,
Hell may be in my future but I have no crystal ball,
is it not what we believe but what we do that will save us all?
I had a savior, but I no longer feel threatened,
how many times do we need to be retaught the same lessons,
are we that forgetful,
or that careless with our knowledge,
should we go to the mall for a lava lamp, a few notebooks, pick a filthy lazy-ass roommate and head back to college?

Have fun,
but I'll be stayin' right here,
call me when you get there,
or don't,
and be ever so thankful that when the Earth is once again flooded in the holy water I'll sink and you'll float,

how were you to know that my savior taught me how to swim,
and I'm doggy-paddlin' all the way to the promised land,
that I was never promised,
but I'm sure a verbal contract will hold up in heavenly court,
an incompetent angel appointed to defend me because I can't afford all my burdens,
no verdict reached,
cause the jury couldn't figure it out,
it simply made no sense,
sinners drown,
and the saved float,
as if they'd never seen anyone swim before,
so it was thrown out of court and my angel won her first case ever,
and I was never cast into the lake ot fire and brimstone,
but if even if I was,
I wouldn't sink,
and I sure as hell wouldn't float,
because as sure as I am the hell doesn't exist,
it did in my life for eleven years,
and that's a long enough for anyone to endure.
art
666 views 11 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

""""""or that careless with our knowledge,
should we go to the mall for a lava lamp, a few notebooks, pick a filthy lazy-ass roommate and head back to college?"""""

ingenious line!

"""""and be ever so thankful that when the Earth is once again flooded in the holy water I'll sink and you'll float,"""""

I just can't bring myself to say anything preachy to that.  It's too beautiful.

Trinitie

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks Trin, I had some fun with this freewrite and I'm proud that I allowed myself to stop rhyming and split it in two but keep it all one piece. I'm getting more casual with my blogging because fewer and fewer seem to be paying attention anyway, which I can't really blame them for. My interest in Joe User has greatly waned and this may be reflected in the number of visitors I receive.


Your visits will always be appreciated,
-Suspeckted
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
So your writing amazes me Suspeckted and again you have described in your writing things that I have felt through out my life. I love it and I wanted you to know how much I enjoy your writing. Thank you again

zumastar
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
thanks man, bummer about the rain today huh...I actually kind of dug it though.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
yeah the rain was bit of a let down I was kinda diggin the sun these last couple of days. And the nice temps too.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
i recently wrote three poems on my blog, could anyone offer an honest opinion?
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

"""""My interest in Joe User has greatly waned and this may be reflected in the number of visitors I receive."""""

It happened to me a long time ago, only I didn't stop reading, only writing.  My initial interest in Joe was sparked by encountering so many great minds; it was never to share my own thoughts.  Once I did that, though, it became an unruly addiction that blinded me to others thoughts.  So now I primarily focus on blogs written by someone besides myself.

And I must say, I'm always rewarded by visiting your blog.  Your writing is definately something that needs to be shared with a wider audience, as I've consistently commented in previous blogs. 

I usually end up printing your writing and keeping it with some other stuff from Joe.  I've aquired a notebook I've titled "Ted's musings".  If that's makes me a little creepy, I'm willing to deal with it.  It's like getting an amazing book of poetry for free, and being able to read it over and over again.

If you don't mind me asking, why has your "interest waned"? 

Trinitie

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Trin, thank you for your generous flattery. My interest has waned largely due to the number of real-life friends I've had leave Joe User. It was always great entertainment to me to rant about our nerdy blogs with people I really knew while we were at the bar or whatever. Also, I was concered about the time it was taking me away from work but now I have a much more healthy and productive way to manage my time, especially in light of my new job. Motivation for me comes and goes, it's intimidating to me that large amount of work I've done yet I can't seem to get myself to pool it all together and work on great pieces I'm proud of in hopes of going further with them. Instead it seems that I just continue to (good or bad) produce works.

I've grown incredibly tired of the debates on Joe User, it's almost like listening to Left Wing and Right Wing Radio at the same time, one screaming in one ear of the headphones one in the other. No one ever seems to budge on anything and thankfully this has moved me a bit closer to the middle of the spectrum, a place I thought I should never be. It seems that many of the political pundits on JU have adopted a "you're with us, or against us" attitude and no one seems to give a shit about their communities. They focuse on large scale "issues" their opinions of which will have little impact on what becomes of them. All of these "hacks" left or right are distracted by things that, yes, matter, but only to a certain degree, we've forgotten about simple acts of good character and citizenship.

Also in many other ways I've become more connected to my community and my sense of being a good citizen and I accomplish few of my goals sitting in front of my CPU telling JU's like Moderateman and Dr. Guy why I think they're full of shit. That doesn't do me any good and if nothing else, probably just fuels their stubborn stances.

So I'll continue to write and perhaps generous people like you will continue to read. If not, that's okay too, I can always return to my collections of notebooks filled with the aftermath of my angst and poor penmanship.

Peace,
The suspeckt
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Ted,

Please understand that I do not flatter.  Although some would beg to differ, it ain't my style.

As the rest of your comment, agreed.  It's nice to hear that someone actually puts all their good thoughts into acts.

Trinitie

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can always return to my collections of notebooks filled with the aftermath of my angst and poor penmanship.


Everytime I read something you write, I am always left with a delicious line, a moving sentence, an entrancing image... I've given up even trying to interact politically with people here... difficult to do without sounding like you're slamming someone, bloody awful to sit through other people's lengthy and longwinded rants that have been written already, time and time again. Lately, the only reason why I've been coming back to Joeuser is to check out what's new in Anti-Prose... the sad thing is that there are so many people who are NOT writing anymore.

Keep it up, yo.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you Nicky.