Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies
A primer if you will
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Thanks to the good folks at Comedy Central's jokes.com for having this list I saw a long time ago.
Rules of the Movie Universe
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Now, a few of my own:
-Musicians have a sixth sense about when to turn on the radio to hear their song being played on the radio for the first time
-It is possible to move faster than both fire and bullets if you really, really need to
-You can get shot 20 times and still be able to make a difference in a fight
-Flying a plane is so easy, even someone who has never done it before can do it with a few verbal instructions.
So, do you have any rules in the movies we haven't mentioned?
Rules of the Movie Universe
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it''''s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Now, a few of my own:
-Musicians have a sixth sense about when to turn on the radio to hear their song being played on the radio for the first time
-It is possible to move faster than both fire and bullets if you really, really need to
-You can get shot 20 times and still be able to make a difference in a fight
-Flying a plane is so easy, even someone who has never done it before can do it with a few verbal instructions.
So, do you have any rules in the movies we haven't mentioned?
