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The Internet isn’t real life

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The Internet isn’t real life

from JoeUser Forums

First off, I want to thank all the people who have written their kind words of support these past few days.

I wish I could say this is the first time we’ve had to deal with a frivolous lawsuit and I wish I could say it was the last. It happens. It’s business. The only difference here is that one party doesn’t normally leak this sort of thing out to get press coverage.

It is amazing how many people will look at a bunch of unsubstantiated allegations and assume they’re true or assume that they are seeing even a tiny fraction of the full story.  I know I’m somewhat guilty of this since I have often taken the view “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.

The emails I get often ask me how I “deal” with some of the vile and ignorant things that have been tweeted to me or said.  The answer is, you can’t take that sort of thing personally.  They’re reacting to drama they’re reading without really thinking any of it through.

I’ve been online for almost 30 years now – since Commodore 64 BBS days. It is extremely easy for someone to make things up and pass them off as fact.  I once got forwarded a claim by someone who said that we made female units in War of Magic weaker than males (they’re identical other than graphics).  But someone makes something up, it gets past on and it eventually becomes fact.

Heck, every time I go over to BluesNews.com, there’s some guy who insists I’m a Glenn Beck fan, a show I’ve never even watched. That’s why it is important to remember that the Internet isn’t real life.  That is why I’ve told my younger friends to be wary of taking their various virtual communities too seriously. It isn’t a replacement for personal relationships with people in real life.

When you are interacting with hateful people, don’t think of them as the norm. And while you can try to fathom where all that hate comes from, it’s ultimately irrelevant. People like that are always hating something. The phrase “haters are going to hate” is a truism. There are people out there who are miserable and there always will be.

There will always be people who will read unsubstantiated allegations, even ones that have direct contrary evidence, and still believe it because they have an inherent need to hate something or someone.  You can’t take those people personally. They’re facing an issue that you can never cure.

As someone who has had the opportunity to start their own business, literally from their dorm room, and build it up over many years, I’ve gotten to see this sort of thing ebb and flow.  My advice to those who have been tempted to lash back at these people who are filled with hate is to just ignore them. You might as well go out and yell at the rain.  You can’t change them. Only they can address whatever it is inside of them that makes them so ready to hate people they’ve never met (whether that be some Internet geek or a politician or celebrity).

The thing to remember is this: There is something fundamentally wrong with someone who is prepared to hate someone they've never even met. There's no point worrying about them.

109,007 views 68 replies
Reply #51 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Frogboy, reply 21
I think the issue is that there are a lot of unhappy people on the Internet. And they look for reasons to be "angry" at people. And their threshold for being "angry" is remarkably low.
End of Frogboy's quote

I'm in constant pain and suffer limited mobility, sleep deprivation as a result of it. Therefore I'm miserable, unhappy and angry at the world pretty much all the time. 

Well I would be if I let it get to me and blamed the world for my predicament.  Thing is, it's nobody else's fault and there's not a lot anyone can do to help, so I make the best of what I have and what I'm able to do.  And yeah, while I'm able to be unpleasant and/or angry toward others, it's not the best use of my time or energy.  I have more than enough sleepless nights as it it, without adding some insane and needless hate campaign to exacerbate the problem, and that's my point. 

More often than not, it's the hater who suffers the adverse affects and sleepless nights, not the intended victim.  That's the karma kicking in, and once you commit to a path of ill-will it just doesn't get better.  I suspect that is the case here, and that this woman will regret her course of actions, if she doesn't already.

Frankly, Brad, you have nothing to worry about, so stick to your guns and all will turn out fine.

Reply #52 from LittleTinyFrogs Forums Top

Thanks.  

To everyone else:

The emails and messages I get of support are appreciated. But please, please do not try to engage the haters. Just let them do their thing. Don't sign up for accts, don't suddenly jump in and start trying to "help".

Youre dealing with "level 5" jerks there.

See: http://www.systemcomic.com/2011/08/03/so-youre-mad-about-something-on-the-internet/

 

(hT to the person who emailed that to me)

 

 

Siege of Centauri
Reply #53 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Road rage on the Information Superhighway. Back in my radio days, it was called H&D....Hate and Discontent.

The method of communication has changed, the attitudes have not. There are those who have no joy in their lives who insist on attempting to pass their misery on to others. They rarely succeed.

Reply #54 from Elemental Forums Top

Quoting Frogboy, reply 51

Quoting Cruxador, reply 50You know, I agree with the specific case of this as it relates to Stardock's current legal dispute. But I do think that "They hate because they're haters, so I don't need to listen to them" is a dangerous viewpoint to take. There are certainly people like that, but there are also people with legitimate criticisms that might merely be wrapped in vitriol for whatever reason, be it (sub)cultural or due to emotion. I feel it's important to be careful that you don't ignore good advice when you think you're disregarding pointless hate.

I agree wi you. Luckily, if you look at a couple of the haters who volunteered to serve as examples, they make it pretty obvious.

A general rule of thumb I use: if you hope a total stranger dies or gets tortured, you might be a hater.
End of Frogboy's quote

 

I hope all those total strangers who wish people to die or be tortured get tortured or die!!! Errr, uhhh....

Reply #55 from Elemental Forums Top

I've refrained from commenting on this subject so far, and will continue to do so, as it's the court's job to deal with it, not mine.  I enjoy living in a society where disputes are settled by courts (as imperfect as they are) and not by lynch mobs and posses.

However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).  There's a certain forum (I'm sure you can guess which one) that seems to be undergoing some sort of slow-motion self destruction over this.  And this is supposedly after those forums were purged of "trouble-makers" and accounts only given to upstanding people.

Truly bizarre, yet fascinating to watch.

 

Reply #56 from Elemental Forums Top

I rarely lurk at that site anymore. Too much noise. But I thought the point of the great douching was to cut down on the shitard ratio over there. Didn't they form their own exile sanctuary where they could circle jerk off in harmony?

Reply #57 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Cauldyth, reply 55
However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).
End of Cauldyth's quote

I don't know that I find it fascinating, more ludicrous and quite bizarre.  For mine, it is just as pathetic as walking by a bar, hearing there's a bar room brawl in progress and going inside to get involved for the sake of it.  There is more than enough hostility in this world and we don't need this kind of lunacy adding to it.... and hostility need not come in the form of violence or physical abuse.

Now I do not know this woman persecuting Brad, but what I gleaned from those court documents is that she is a go getter who is never satisfied with her lot.  It has nothing to do with what Brad did or didn't do, nor what he said or didn't say.  No, it's her hostility and aggression toward Brad because she sees him as successful and a have, while she is an unsuccessful have-not with a lot less, hence the hostile and frivolous court case, because she wants a piece of it. 

The fact that she went from one job to another until she reached $100,000 a year, and is still looking for more, tells me that she is more driven by greed rather than success.  Yes, there are those sad sacks who measure success by the amount of money they earn/accumulate, rather than by their achievements and the good they've done in life.  Sadly, this woman falls into this category, but it will be her undoing and she will become even more bitter and twisted as a result of her own failings and greed.

And no, for those who might be thinking it, I'm not suck-holing up to Brad for anything... free software or the like.  No, I'm more than happy to pay my way and I'm calling it as I see it... and I'll bet bucks to a bucket of shit that various people at Stardock will agree with me.  A spade is a spade, and while I personally do not know this woman, I've met her dozens of times in different places and situations.  That's one thing about human nature, it knows no nationality and people the world over are the same.  Some of them may look beautiful and come across as charming, but on the inside they're downright ugly and will turn on you quicker than a snake.

Reply #58 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Frogboy, reply 52
See:

http://www.systemcomic.com/2011/08/03/so-youre-mad-about-something-on-the-internet

End of Frogboy's quote

Here's hoping the comments attached to that were/are staged....;)

.......

....if not I now know where we are going...and why we are in this handbasket....;)

 

 

Reply #59 from JoeUser Forums Top

Quoting starkers, reply 57
Quoting Cauldyth, reply 55However, what I do find fascinating is the escalating viciousness with which third-party observers are tearing into each other over this (not even into the people involved in the case, but into other third-party observers).

I don't know that I find it fascinating, more ludicrous and quite bizarre.  For mine, it is just as pathetic as walking by a bar, hearing there's a bar room brawl in progress and going inside to get involved for the sake of it.  There is more than enough hostility in this world and we don't need this kind of lunacy adding to it.... and hostility need not come in the form of violence or physical abuse.

Now I do not know this woman persecuting Brad, but what I gleaned from those court documents is that she is a go getter who is never satisfied with her lot.  It has nothing to do with what Brad did or didn't do, nor what he said or didn't say.  No, it's her hostility and aggression toward Brad because she sees him as successful and a have, while she is an unsuccessful have-not with a lot less, hence the hostile and frivolous court case, because she wants a piece of it. 

The fact that she went from one job to another until she reached $100,000 a year, and is still looking for more, tells me that she is more driven by greed rather than success.  Yes, there are those sad sacks who measure success by the amount of money they earn/accumulate, rather than by their achievements and the good they've done in life.  Sadly, this woman falls into this category, but it will be her undoing and she will become even more bitter and twisted as a result of her own failings and greed.

And no, for those who might be thinking it, I'm not suck-holing up to Brad for anything... free software or the like.  No, I'm more than happy to pay my way and I'm calling it as I see it... and I'll bet bucks to a bucket of shit that various people at Stardock will agree with me.  A spade is a spade, and while I personally do not know this woman, I've met her dozens of times in different places and situations.  That's one thing about human nature, it knows no nationality and people the world over are the same.  Some of them may look beautiful and come across as charming, but on the inside they're downright ugly and will turn on you quicker than a snake.
End of starkers's quote

Just the same, if there's any free software Brad wants to give us, we'll more than happily accept it.

Reply #60 from Stardock Forums Top

years ago i lurked on the forum you guys are talking about. but after they opened the flood gates it became as much a cesspool as any other gaming forum these days. it's a real shame because it had a lot of promise. the last time i visited there it was just a bunch of idiots substituting snark and animated gifs for actual discussion. 

Reply #61 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Jythier, reply 59
Just the same, if there's any free software Brad wants to give us, we'll more than happily accept it.
End of Jythier's quote

Expect a discount here and there... special offers and the like, just don't expect free.

Ya know, one of the best free things in life you can get?  A smile. :)

It's also one of the best free things you can give. |-)

Reply #62 from JoeUser Forums Top

Smileys are even easier.

Reply #63 from LittleTinyFrogs Forums Top

Little tiny American flags for all! ;)

Quoting JayG, reply 61
years ago i lurked on the forum you guys are talking about. but after they opened the flood gates it became as much a cesspool as any other gaming forum these days. it's a real shame because it had a lot of promise. the last time i visited there it was just a bunch of idiots substituting snark and animated gifs for actual discussion. 
End of JayG's quote

I continue to be active there. Though, I must admit, my respect for quite a few of the regulars has been shaken based on their behavior and gullibility. Not to mention a startling lack of empathy.

I would have thought most of them were smart enough to recognize you can't attract and retain world class talent (male and female) if you're an ass. People of quality won't put up with it.  

I'm trying to remember the last time someone left Stardock for another job (not counting the Impulse moves).  I don't think there's been any in 2012.   I think there might have been one in 2011 (game development is not for everyone) and of course one infamous example in 2010.  For a company of over 50 people, that's a pretty low turn-over.

I don't think I'll ever be quite as active as I used to be there. Some things were said there that can't be unsaid. 

Reply #64 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting Frogboy, reply 63
I don't think I'll ever be quite as active as I used to be there. Some things were said there that can't be unsaid.
End of Frogboy's quote

Um, Brad .... I refer you to this thread title...;)

Opinions worthy of respect [good or bad, right or wrong] can only come from people worthy of respect.

An ass will always have an ass of an opinion.  [OK...officially been around you lot over there too long....we don't mince words in Oz....it's 'arse', not 'ass']...;)

Reply #65 from Stardock Forums Top

I don't claim to know or care to find out all that happened, but I'll still be here to annoy you all.  For the foreseeable future.

Someone's gotta push Windows 8 after all. ;)

Reply #66 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Sometimes it's fun to see trolls go at each others' throats over the stupidest things, provided that you're not involved in the situation.  If people are consistently trolling and flaming, just get offline and do something else.  And if you absolutely have to see what they're doing, play it safe and browse anonymously.  It's not like the trolls know where you are and what you're doing.  It's really easy to avoid conflicts on the Internet, but in real-life, it's much more difficult. 

I personally would rather have some random stranger flame at me than a real-life person scream to the top of their lungs in my face about what a horrible person I am, or something of the sort.  Flaming and Trolls use mostly text and pictures to get their insults across.  It's not as harsh or as devastating as human voice; especially from someone you actually know, like a friend or family member. 

 

Case in point, just tune out the trolls because like you said, "The Internet isn't real life". :thumbsup:

 

The opposite should apply as well; don't make really close friendships online.  Chances are that you'll never meet these people in person.  I had an experience trying to make friends on another site, and it lasted for a good 4 months or so, but now they don't PM me anymore, for who knows why.  And it can feel devastating and disappointing knowing that they've stopped caring.  Casual friendships are okay, but close friendships should be established for the real world, not the Internet.

Reply #67 from LittleTinyFrogs Forums Top

Wait! 

The Internet Justice League is all enraged about something that happened over 2 fucking years ago that they just found out about? 

Bonus Question: In that 2 years when Stardock's become obviously more successful how many employees of Stardock have quit for any reason?

 

Reply #68 from LittleTinyFrogs Forums Top

Quoting Mmrnmhrm, reply 68
Wait! 

The Internet Justice League is all enraged about something that happened over 2 fucking years ago that they just found out about? 

Bonus Question: In that 2 years when Stardock's become obviously more successful how many employees of Stardock have quit for any reason?

 
End of Mmrnmhrm's quote

Well, it's new to them.  More specifically, there were a lot of things I wrote publicly and privately in the Summer of 2010 that I regret writing, or, at the very least, not using more care in how I wrote it. 

As for your question, other than those who went with Impulse to GameStop, I think we've had one person leave for another job and that was due to game development isn't for everyone (the joke we often make is "So, you like Baldur's Gate eh? How would you like to play it every day for the next three years!").

The same people who made, for example, Galactic Civilizations I (for Windows) is the team making Fallen Enchantress (with the addition of new developers and especially new artists). 

The marketing for Start8/Fences2/Fallen Enchantress/Sins Rebellion, etc. is being done by the same team (with the notable exception of one person) plus new people as what was done for WindowBlinds/ObjectDock/Sins of a Solar Empire/GalCiv.