Time and Life....

from JoeUser Forums

No, not Time Life and their books and such, this is an article about Time and Life, or not having enough time to keep up with things as I might otherwise wish.  Specifically coming here to JoeUser.com and writing articles as I used to do more frequently.  While I had gotten back on the trend a bit in the last several months, the most recent months have seen me having little time to come over and write any articles.

Admittedly, if there was something that really warranted an article, I'd probably make the time and be here trying to provoke some thought, as I hope to do with a different article in a minute or two (after completing this one).

Some of the reason for the lack of attention has been that I've been spending more time lately in a relationship with a lovely lady whose company I really enjoy.  Having someone to share my life with -- besides my children and other family members -- is something that I wasn't originally sure (after my first wife's accident) that I'd want, but in giving myself time to explore and reflect on the situation, I've found clarity and learned more about what I do want for myself.

Anyway, I can't promise that I'll have that much time to come here and write, but I will try to keep in touch and visit when possible.

blogging
3,236 views 4 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm so glad to read this.  Not just for you, but also for my husband.  If something happens to me, I want him to find someone to grow old with, someone to love him, take care of him, be a good mom to my kids.

He gets mad when I tell him that though, so I stopped.

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Congratulations Terp!  You deserve it.

We will keep your seat warm here.

TouchTasks - Access tasks with ease on Windows touchscreens.
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'm so glad to read this. Not just for you, but also for my husband. If something happens to me, I want him to find someone to grow old with, someone to love him, take care of him, be a good mom to my kids.

He gets mad when I tell him that though, so I stopped.

End of quote

My wife used to ask me (typical question for married couples really) if I would wind up remarrying if something happened to her.  I used to jokingly answer something to effect of "why would I want to make the same mistake twice".  In reality I'd loved her -- though she used to ask my children just what it was in her that made me do that and not want to let her go -- and couldn't see myself with someone else in the future.

Life had other plans though, and I found myself wondering if I really wanted to be alone or wouldn't I prefer to have someone to share life's great experiences with.  Over the last several months I've found that I much prefer the second of those choices.

In terms of finding someone new to be a mom to my children, or finding someone that I could help be a parent with, in that area I admit to perhaps different thoughts.  My children are now mostly grown so I don't face that choice, but if I were to have been in the same basic situation when they were younger, I probably would have been concentrating on them first, and wouldn't have put much thought into another relationship until they were more ready to be on their own.  When I first put a profile on Match.com I noted that I wasn't looking for a new mom for my children as they were nearly ready to fly the nest.  While a great partner should be able to help parent my children, I don't know how easily I could accept someone else doing that job even in doing it with me.  With the right person, I'm sure it would all work out, and I'd like to think that my ladyfriend is such a person and I could be such a person for her children, but I know that parenting other people's children is not an easy situation at all.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top

When I first put a profile on Match.com I noted that I wasn't looking for a new mom for my children as they were nearly ready to fly the nest. While a great partner should be able to help parent my children, I don't know how easily I could accept someone else doing that job even in doing it with me. With the right person, I'm sure it would all work out, and I'd like to think that my ladyfriend is such a person and I could be such a person for her children, but I know that parenting other people's children is not an easy situation at all.
End of quote

My wife is very good with my kids.  She is not "mom" or even "stepmom" but she is very supportive of them and me given the difficulty of the situation.  I think most women would not mind being a 'step mom" and it does not hurt your children to have "parents" and "grandparents" (note the plural) to ask advice of.  For that is where they are now.  The teaching is pretty much over, now it is advice.