Sunday Funnies

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Hey folks... add puns, cartoons, jokes....whatever! Time for a few laughs!

 

PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery..

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head..'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

1,820 views 8 replies
Reply #1 Top

I've taken up cage fighting........ I won my first fight last night.............. That budgie never knew what hit it!!!

Reply #2 Top

Oops...sorry

Reply #3 Top

Quoting BoXXi, reply 1
I've taken up cage fighting........ I won my first fight last night.............. That budgie never knew what hit it!!!
End of BoXXi's quote

XD :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

The Zen of Sarcasm
End of quote

:rofl: :rofl:  ...*doc thinks....hey, didn't I post that somewhere? Or was that that freakin' Redneck...

Reply #4 Top

Confucius Says;

Man who run in Front of car get tired.

Man who run behind Car get exhausted.

Man with one Chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch butt Should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many Prunes get good run for money.

War not  determine who is Right, war determine who is  Left.

Wife who put  Husband in doghouse soon find him in  Cathouse.

Man who drive like Hell, bound to get there.

Man who live in  Glass house should change clothes in  Basement.
 
Man who fish in Other man's well often catch crabs.
 
Crowded elevator Smell different to midget.

:-"  :rofl:  ... *DP hopes Doc didn't post this somewhere

 

Reply #5 Top

He also said

Women who rides bicycle pedals ass around town

 

Reply #6 Top

:D

Reply #7 Top

*DP hopes Doc didn't post this somewhere
End of quote

Eh...he probably stole it from somewhere else! XD

Reply #8 Top

Confucious say....

Knickerless girls should not climb trees.

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Woman who fly plane upside down bound to have crack up.

Person who cook potatoes and peas in same pot dirty unsanitary bastard.

Boss who ride with secretary to work on camel don't necessarily get hump