Dear Gabby

Dear Gabby,

I am a blogger and write what I assess as fairly good articles; but my fellow bloggers apparently disagree because they never stop by my site to see how I’m doing. Please help.

Frustrated Blogger

Dear Frustrated:

If you ain’t writing about sex, you ain’t blogging!

Dear Gabby,

I’m a contributor to a site that’s predominantly conservative; however, the owner generously allows me to write my tear-jerking liberal epistles because his conservative colleagues delight in making a fool of me via their comments. In the heat of the election, though, they’ve paid no attention to me; they ignore me as they would a liberal political ad. How can I get their attention?

Bleeding Heart

Dear Bleeding Heart:

If you want attention during elections, you damn fool, stop bleeding, sign your blogs with the flag and join them!

Dear Gabby,

I’ve just joined a blog site that has a point system; I got fifteen points for my blog. To my delight practically everyone left a compliment worth five points  each just to say “welcome.” As a result, I got a grand total of 515 points. When I wrote my second blog thanking the hundred that welcomed me, 150 responded, “your welcome” or “don’t mention it.” I now have a grand total of 1280 points. My question is should I write again thanking them?

Thank You.

Smiley Face

Dear Smiley Face:

Unless you want to reach the top of the point list, I suggest you change your name and stop thanking them! And don’t bother to write me back thanking me, either!

Dear Gabby,

I am the most notorious blogger on my site because I’m the meanest and dirtiest. But my colleagues just love to be even meaner and dirtier in their reactions to my articles. Now, don’t get me wrong I love all the attention, but even for me it is difficult to keep pace with their meaner and dirtier tricks. Should I try now to be Mr. Nice Guy?

Bill O’ Bilely

Dear Bill Bile:

Don’t you dare change your character just to be loved — your readers will begin to think you’re gay. If you think you get attention now , wait till the love freaks jump on the keyboard and shower you with saccharin comments that will turn your stomach and your natural bile will be sugary mush. Hang in there — be tough and cruel. To keep up the pace read Nietzsche and von Sacher-Masoch to rejuvenate your nasty disposition.

Copyright © 2004 Richard R. Kennedy All rights reserved. Revised: October 27, 2004.

http://stevendedalus.joeuser.com