Should I stay or should I go now?

from JoeUser Forums
I recently started graduate studies at a very prestigious school, reputed to have one of the best programs in the county for my chosen field. But lately I'm wondering if I made a mistake. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years lives about 3 1/2 hours away from me. He is working on his masters in business administration. We will finish at the same time and are planning on getting married after we both finish school. Sounds like a good plan right? Both finish our respective degrees, and holding hands leap into the world, taking it by storm. Problem is, I hate being away from him. I could have gone to school where he is, but it isn't as good of a program. The question now is, do I quit where I am now and move to be with him or tough it out for the next 21 months?

He has been wonderfully supportive, encouraging me to make the decision for myself rather than for him. He has promised to support me no matter what my decision, but I can't help but feel like I made a bad choice. I really like the school I am at and studying psychology, but I feel like something is missing. I can't decide if it is mearly my boyfriend that I am missing, or if maybe I'm not where I am ment to be. I've always been good at school and maybe I'm just scared that I can't hack it here.

I feel like I need to pray, turn this problem over to someone more qualified to handle it, but then I feel like I am coping out, not really taking responsibility for my own life and decisions. I've never been much of a prayer and I flip flop on whether I believe in a hgher power (that is a whole other blog!) Are my feelings are the product of a bad week or something more?
dating
3,154 views 6 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi there. I'm not a psychologist, but from my years of experience and unfinished dreams of an imcomplete degree, I'm going to give this a shot. Think about what your goal really is right now. Do you want to have this degree? Will it benefit you in the future and allow you to live the life you want to lead? If your answer is in the affirmative then you know you are in the right place. You will miss your boyfriend, that's normal, and that will happen for a while since it sounds like it's the first time you are apart from each other. Your love can grow stronger or it can drift apart. If it is meant to be, then don't worry, you will be together and you will weather whatever storm comes your way. From my experience I say stick it out and complete this, you won't regret it.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
hey really i think if u give urself some time you shud be able to work this out...in my view stick to ur course ...make some friends involve yourself in extra curricular activities...so that the going becomes easy..
by d way u didnt mention wat exactly wer u doin
ps; i'd love to be frds wid u
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Cheerio friend - my best friend's doing the same thing; her boyfriend's in Chicago, she's in good ole Tobacco Central at your prestigious university too - usually. This semester she's studying in St. Andrews and I know that being away from Phil is really hard for her because even chatting on the phone is ridiculously expensive now. My advice is to stick it out, at least for the semester or the year. There are weeks when all of us break down at P(C)U, grad students aren't exempted I guess; but at the end of the two years, you're going to be real proud of yourself (not that you aren't and shouldn't be already, but you know what I mean). And it's totally okay to turn things over to a higher power that you aren't sure exists, because it's better that you give it away (even if it's just to your imaginary friend) than it is to be weighed down by it forever.

Don't live regretfully, but don't live unhappily either.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Being a liberal is the most disgusting thing a human being can be. Leave this country NOW !!!. You are low brow slime. Why don`t you go for a drive with TED KENNEDY. Go ride a tank with JANE FONDA. You can lick my conservitive boot heels as I walk all over your wants, needs, hopes and dreams.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Okay, I'm a little scared that there are people like you out there. You have obviously gone searching for people whos ideologies differ from yours and somehow garner some satisfaction from slinging insults at a stranger. I have as much of a right to be open about my political beliefs as you do. Yet I do not feel that it is necessary to make veiled death threats to those who's opinions are different from my own. And you wonder how conservatives get a bad name.....
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm with foreverserenity on this one. If the degree that you're going for will help you heaps in the professional world and if it is really what you want to do with your life stick to it.
I think you miss your boyfriend because not only is it the first time (maybe) but it is also the first weeks (right?). So if everybody tells me that time will do, than it certainly can be applicable to anyone else including you