Those Crazy Chinese

What will they think of next?

I didn't know whether to put this in religion or humor, and then I decided. Humor. Probably the funniest damned thing I've heard in a while. Here's the story, believe it or not.



By Matthew Philips
Newsweek

Aug. 20-27, 2007 issue - In one of history's more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is "an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation." But beyond the irony lies China's true motive: to cut off the influence of the Dalai Lama, Tibet's exiled spiritual and political leader, and to quell the region's Buddhist religious establishment more than 50 years after China invaded the small Himalayan country. By barring any Buddhist monk living outside China from seeking reincarnation, the law effectively gives Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama, whose soul, by tradition, is reborn as a new human to continue the work of relieving suffering.


Here's the rest of the story. I can't even comment. Maybe someone will drop by and leave a few comments...I'm too floored to say anything else on the subject.
37,692 views 26 replies
Reply #1 Top
Best. Law. Ever.
Reply #2 Top
"People just kept reincarnating whenever they felt like it. It was so disorganized. Thank you, Chinese Government, now my reincarnation is beauracratic and slow. I've got my permit, do you have yours?"
Reply #3 Top

When I come back I'm headed to Humbolt County,

California?

Reply #4 Top
BTW Ock I am too speechless to comment, it seems like the Chinese have indeed lost their 'collective',{<get it? communism} Minds
Reply #5 Top
San Diego is home to Barry Minkow.

Statistic of the day!

100% of people who reincarnate are dead.
Reply #6 Top
California?


Oh yeah...I'm going to retire and take up horticulture there along with starting my own reggae band that rehearses every night but never plays a gig. It's gonna be awesome.
Reply #7 Top

Reply By: asaxygirlPosted: Tuesday, August 28, 2007
California?


You got it, MM! Once upon a time it would have been San Diego. SD is still my home and Mom, Dad, and lttle-bro are still there, but it has become the gathering ground of the blank eyed, money grubbing masses. The weather is beautiful, the surf divine...but I want some space, trees, greenery, cliffs and mountains to go along with the outrageous surf. Humbolt County is calling my name.

There was a time long, long ago in a galaxy far far away, when I knew many 'growers' that lives in the "green triangle' Humblot, Mendicino and Trinity counties make them up, I live about two hours from Humbolt, if you want to see how an old fart lives with his wife and have some coffee, I assume your flying into San fran Freako? I am 50 miles from there. Just a thought.

Reply #8 Top

Reply By: OckhamsRazorPosted: Tuesday, August 28, 2007
California?


Oh yeah...I'm going to retire and take up horticulture there along with starting my own reggae band that rehearses every night but never plays a gig. It's gonna be awesome

yer gonna cultivate hors? won't yer lady be a little pissed about that?

Reply #9 Top
"People just kept reincarnating whenever they felt like it. It was so disorganized. Thank you, Chinese Government, now my reincarnation is beauracratic and slow. I've got my permit, do you have yours?"


Hilarious, J.
Reply #10 Top
There was a time long, long ago in a galaxy far far away, when I knew many 'growers' that lives in the "green triangle' Humblot, Mendicino and Trinity counties make them up, I live about two hours from Humbolt, if you want to see how an old fart lives with his wife and have some coffee, I assume your flying into San fran Freako? I am 50 miles from there. Just a thought.


A good thought, and we'll take you up on that as soon as I can get out of here! Just uh....don't hit me or anything, k?
Reply #11 Top
OckhamsRazorAugust 28, 2007 17:07:45


There was a time long, long ago in a galaxy far far away, when I knew many 'growers' that lives in the "green triangle' Humblot, Mendicino and Trinity counties make them up, I live about two hours from Humbolt, if you want to see how an old fart lives with his wife and have some coffee, I assume your flying into San fran Freako? I am 50 miles from there. Just a thought.


A good thought, and we'll take you up on that as soon as I can get out of here! Just uh....don't hit me or anything, k?


ha! not funny Ock. I am gentle and a gentleman and my wife is truly a lady, we would both be honored to have you both in our home.
Reply #12 Top
What if you're not Buddhist? Do you still get to reincarnate?
Reply #13 Top
What if you're not Buddhist? Do you still get to reincarnate?


I'd say don't confuse them with questions like that, but I think it's way too late
Reply #14 Top
Just 61 But there has been a bunch of wear and tear on this ol body, BTW my surgery i/s the 12th sept. so if your visit is after the 12th bu.t before the 24 or so sept. then I am not sure I will b e up to company yet. I will need at least two weeks to be semi-human

Reply #15 Top
What is the penalty for reincarnating without permission?
Reply #16 Top
Definitely just you. I mean, this regulation was a long time coming. I personally have lobbied for reincarnation to be more organized since the first time I did it. I didn't know where to go, what body I was going to be put in. I almost got put in a plant at one point. That was kind of scary. But I got away, and eventually was reborn, as a human. But it was crazy hard to get in, everyone just mulling around, looking for pregnant women...
Reply #17 Top

I wonder how you control reincarnation?  Is there a reincarnation control pill?  Is there a limit to how many times you can reincarnate?  What if it was an "accident"- do they kill you and start over?

China is one messed up place. 

Reply #18 Top
Aside from all the jokes, the message is pretty clear. The Tibetan monks (scattered through most of India at this point, like the Dali Lama himself, to avoid persecution) will eventually name the next Dali Lama, and since that person will not have reincarnated in China, like he was supposed to, he will be subject to legal persecution according to Chinese law.

I guess it hasn't dawned on the Chinese that making persecution legal doesn't make it right.

Meanwhile, the Chinese are already hand selecting the next Dali Lama themselves - a task they're hardly equipped for, but that doesn't matter. THIS Dali Lama will be under their control, and that's what really matters - even though they aren't willing to say so (aka have the courage to say so).
Reply #19 Top
They are trying that with the Catholic Church.  Picking the leaders.  But one thing that the state has never been able to control is religion - unless it is the state.  It will be funny to see their next wire to Interpol - be on the lookout for a young male - born (in Bethlehem, in a manger?) to a couple of monks.  Considered to be sermonizing and dangerous. Shoot to kill.
Reply #20 Top
ha! not funny Ock. I am gentle and a gentleman and my wife is truly a lady, we would both be honored to have you both in our home.


Maybe we should send MM to China to grab their leaders by the neck and then throw them on the floor in their favorite store.
Reply #21 Top
Maybe we should send MM to China to grab their leaders by the neck and then throw them on the floor in their favorite store.


Sorry I started this MM *chuckles*
Reply #22 Top
Just wanted to say hi. I've been out for awhile with computer trouble and I just spent the last 20 minutes catching up on your articles...now my brain's too tired to come up with a good comment. Buon Giorno!
Reply #23 Top
I was wondering where you'd run off to

Lots of computer techs here at JU - don't hesitate to find a computer that works and post for advice when you run into trouble!

Welcome back! And Buona Sera...1:26am here.
Reply #24 Top
And Buona Sera...1:26am here.


Yeah, I calculated the time and I thought you would be asleep and see it in the morning.
Reply #25 Top
asaxygirlAugust 28, 2007 18:28:40


MM, sadly we likely will not be heading stateside likely until the new year. You'll have plenty of time to get back to your healthy self! I hope your surgery goes well and your recovery is quick. Let me know if you would like anything from Campania to make your down time a bit more tolerable. The espresso is yum and the chocolate pretty darn good...though not Scharffenberger. If you like dessert wines I have just the thing for you.


yayyyyyyyy by then I will be up and running , so good timing. mmmmmmm Chocolate.
I am In recovery so no wine, appreciate the offer though. MMMMmmm chocolate.

You can get my real email from Sabrina. Lets take any further information privately. k?