Masturbate For Peace - End The War By....

http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/
from JoeUser Forums
I've tried it and at the magic moment it was announced that the insurgents in Fallujah were going to turn in their heavy weapons. Try it folks, do it for your c(o)untry.
humor
9,791 views 7 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top


So you get off listening to the news??
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
near the end of 2000...after sharon incited the intifada that continues to this day...i hadda flash of inspiration while considering the similarities between judaism and islam. there are literally hundreds of laws in the torah governing entry to the temple. one of the main themes is 'clean' vs 'unclean'. the unclean category includes sexual activities as well as menstruation. so i began checking and, just as i expected, found similar 'preparation for visiting holy sites' proscriptions and regulations in the q'uran.

im neither a talmudic scholar nor an imam so i cant guarantee the correctness of what follows (otherwise i woulda submitted my plan to the nobel committee) but it looked like it would work. the un takes over jerusalem and establishes a 'no-stroke' zone around that includes both the temple wall and the dome of the rock. no men are permitted entry unless they sign an oath to the effect that they havent eaten any pork nor played with theirs in the previous 6 weeks. once word gets around, there wont be nearly as many fanatics arguing who owns which sacred place. to make a bad pun, id think it would slow traffic to a trickle..no more than a handful so to speak.

anyone who signs the oath and takes his smug self-unsatisfied self inside can be quickly dispatched by snipers posted out of sight solely for that purpose. within a year, we should be well on our way to completely eliminating all the fanatics and liars.

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Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
That's a good suggestion, kingbee And yes, the Torah and Quran does have lots of similarities, as does the Bible. I think in chronological order it's the Bible, then the Torah, then the Quran .. which unfortunately most people don't know. It's like software version 1.0, 2.0, 3.0.

And doesn't "Make love not war" mean basically the same thing? Although this is more .. self love
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
to love others you must first love yourself, no?

yikes! a whole new constitutional can of worms: self-sex marriages
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Where do I sign up
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
"a 'no-stroke' zone"....."self-sex marriages".....fucking hilarious! I spit my coffee out it was so funny. thanx!