JU writing club, submission #2
or; Prague in the late autumn
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
It sure took me long enough to finally get some inspiration for this sucker. (Shovel, you didn't pick a very easy inspiration . . . but a wonderfully salacious one, to be sure.)
This little fella isn't my normal writing, but that's as much what I think this club is for as anything else – to stretch myself as a writer. So for the first time (in a very long time, mind you) I wrote a play. (I blame it all on Pedro Calderón de la Barca. Never mind the fact he's been dead for three hundred years, he's the guilty party.)
So, without further ado, the one act play. For remembrance's sake, here's the inspiration pic again.
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AFTERNOON IN PRAGUE
A play in one act
(Curtain opens on a poorly lit room, sparsely filled. Brown walls; a large bed in the middle of the stage. Elena and Serena are on the bed; both are racily clad. Elena, in plaid, straddles Serena at the waist, forcing a bottle of wine into the other's mouth. Serena is tied to the posts of the bed.)
ELENA: Is that how you like it, huh, bitch? Is that how you like it?
SERENA: (disaffected) Oh yeah, baby, give me some more, just like that.
ELENA: Drink it like this, baby. (After taking a hit off the bottle, Elena leans down and kisses Serena with a mouthful of alcohol, spilling it all over the other girl. Serena, unprepared, begins to cough.)
DIRECTOR: (Enters from stage left, camera in hand) Cut, cut! What the hell! Are we shooting a porn here or are we playing tea time? If you two don't start making this believable, I'm gonna fire the hell out of the both of you. Come on, you've both been promised large amounts of cash for this . . . we're talking the big shits. Now get to it!
SERENA: I swear, Elena, no amount of cash is worth this. Come on, let's just go.
ELENA: (Eyes cast downward) I can't do this, Serena, I can't.
SERENA: I didn't come to Prague to be in a porn movie. We've been here three weeks already. Can't we just move on? What happened to the whole “backpack across Europe” plan?
DIRECTOR: Either shut the hell up and get to it or get out of here! I'll find someone else. Slutty little bitches like you are a dime a dozen in this shithole town.
SERENA: Don't worry, dick, we're leaving. (She pushes Elena off of her, grabs the other girl's hand, and begins to leave towards stage right.)
DIRECTOR: Oh honey, you don't know what dick is until you've had me, baby . . .
(The two girls exit through a door, placed close to edge of stage right.)
ELENA: Oh come on, Serena, what the hell is this all about? You were the one who seemed all gung-ho about this when that asshole approached us . . . or at least you seemed like some kind of ho. (She smiles at Serena.)
SERENA: Well, call me what you will, but we did need the money. How do you propose that we get out of Prague now? We've got to eat somehow. And how do we plan to get home? School starts in two weeks. How do we get back to Miami without two freakin' cents to our names?
ELENA: Uh . . . no ideas over here. I've got nothing.
SERENA: Well . . . I suppose we could start begging . . . ever begged before?
ELENA: Please, I'd rather die. I'd rather screw your brains out with a fork than be a beggar.
SERENA: Well then . . . our options seem rather limited.
ELENA: Somewhere between screwed and super screwed.
SERENA: You know, this really is your fault. If you hadn't wanted to bad to pierce that damn lip of yours back in Budapest . . .
ELENA: But that guy in the piercing shop was so hot . . . he could've talked me into anything.
SERENA: What, did you pierce your titty too?
ELENA: (laughing) Well, if we hadn't run from the porn guy so quick, you could've found out, huh?
SERENA: Huh . . . well I guess that's true.
(During this scene outside, DIRECTOR continues to fidget inside the room, making the bed again, obviously nervous. He approaches the door.)
DIRECTOR: Are you still standing out there? I told you to get the hell out of here!
SERENA: Look, we're sorry, but we're trying to figure out where to go here.
ELENA: Back the hell off.
DIRECTOR: Hey . . . I need to shoot something today. If not, my bosses will have my balls in the frying pan. I won't make you guys screw, but . . . I at least need something. Will you guys get back in here and just at least shoot something . . . hot? Not like X-rated stuff, but something . . . spicy?
ELENA: (Both girls exchange looks.) Serena, we do need the cash. A little kissing won't do us any harm.
SERENA: Okay. If you pay us double what you promised us.
DIRECTOR: What?!? No way, babe. No way.
(The girls stand obstinate, unmoving. Silence.)
DIRECTOR: Okay, all right, just get the hell in here and get back to where you were. You, on top of you . . . bottle of wine . . . all that shit. Get to it!
(All enter the room. Elena and Serena resume their positions on the bed – Serena tied up, Elena straddling the other girl, bottle in hand.)
ELENA: You like that, baby? Does that make you feel good?
SERENA: Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's it.
(The Director approaches, preparing for a close angle shot. As he approaches, Elena slams the wine bottle down on his head, knocking him unconscious.)
SERENA: What the hell? What are you doing?
ELENA: Getting us cash the good old-fashioned way . . . now help me out here.
(Elena grabs the Director, stripping him down. Serena realizes what's going on and helps, tying him to the bedposts.)
ELENA: That ought to do it. Now, grab his wallet and let's get the hell out of here before dickwad over here wakes back up.
SERENA: Hmm. Well . . . I guess that is one way to get some quick cash.
ELENA: Whatever works, right? Let's go, hurry up! (They leave.)
DIRECTOR: (Groggily, awakening slowly) Huh? What just happened to me? (He looks down, finding himself naked, robbed, and tied to the bed.) I knew I should've never used the American girls.
© 2006 Braeden Jones
This little fella isn't my normal writing, but that's as much what I think this club is for as anything else – to stretch myself as a writer. So for the first time (in a very long time, mind you) I wrote a play. (I blame it all on Pedro Calderón de la Barca. Never mind the fact he's been dead for three hundred years, he's the guilty party.)
So, without further ado, the one act play. For remembrance's sake, here's the inspiration pic again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AFTERNOON IN PRAGUE
A play in one act
(Curtain opens on a poorly lit room, sparsely filled. Brown walls; a large bed in the middle of the stage. Elena and Serena are on the bed; both are racily clad. Elena, in plaid, straddles Serena at the waist, forcing a bottle of wine into the other's mouth. Serena is tied to the posts of the bed.)
ELENA: Is that how you like it, huh, bitch? Is that how you like it?
SERENA: (disaffected) Oh yeah, baby, give me some more, just like that.
ELENA: Drink it like this, baby. (After taking a hit off the bottle, Elena leans down and kisses Serena with a mouthful of alcohol, spilling it all over the other girl. Serena, unprepared, begins to cough.)
DIRECTOR: (Enters from stage left, camera in hand) Cut, cut! What the hell! Are we shooting a porn here or are we playing tea time? If you two don't start making this believable, I'm gonna fire the hell out of the both of you. Come on, you've both been promised large amounts of cash for this . . . we're talking the big shits. Now get to it!
SERENA: I swear, Elena, no amount of cash is worth this. Come on, let's just go.
ELENA: (Eyes cast downward) I can't do this, Serena, I can't.
SERENA: I didn't come to Prague to be in a porn movie. We've been here three weeks already. Can't we just move on? What happened to the whole “backpack across Europe” plan?
DIRECTOR: Either shut the hell up and get to it or get out of here! I'll find someone else. Slutty little bitches like you are a dime a dozen in this shithole town.
SERENA: Don't worry, dick, we're leaving. (She pushes Elena off of her, grabs the other girl's hand, and begins to leave towards stage right.)
DIRECTOR: Oh honey, you don't know what dick is until you've had me, baby . . .
(The two girls exit through a door, placed close to edge of stage right.)
ELENA: Oh come on, Serena, what the hell is this all about? You were the one who seemed all gung-ho about this when that asshole approached us . . . or at least you seemed like some kind of ho. (She smiles at Serena.)
SERENA: Well, call me what you will, but we did need the money. How do you propose that we get out of Prague now? We've got to eat somehow. And how do we plan to get home? School starts in two weeks. How do we get back to Miami without two freakin' cents to our names?
ELENA: Uh . . . no ideas over here. I've got nothing.
SERENA: Well . . . I suppose we could start begging . . . ever begged before?
ELENA: Please, I'd rather die. I'd rather screw your brains out with a fork than be a beggar.
SERENA: Well then . . . our options seem rather limited.
ELENA: Somewhere between screwed and super screwed.
SERENA: You know, this really is your fault. If you hadn't wanted to bad to pierce that damn lip of yours back in Budapest . . .
ELENA: But that guy in the piercing shop was so hot . . . he could've talked me into anything.
SERENA: What, did you pierce your titty too?
ELENA: (laughing) Well, if we hadn't run from the porn guy so quick, you could've found out, huh?
SERENA: Huh . . . well I guess that's true.
(During this scene outside, DIRECTOR continues to fidget inside the room, making the bed again, obviously nervous. He approaches the door.)
DIRECTOR: Are you still standing out there? I told you to get the hell out of here!
SERENA: Look, we're sorry, but we're trying to figure out where to go here.
ELENA: Back the hell off.
DIRECTOR: Hey . . . I need to shoot something today. If not, my bosses will have my balls in the frying pan. I won't make you guys screw, but . . . I at least need something. Will you guys get back in here and just at least shoot something . . . hot? Not like X-rated stuff, but something . . . spicy?
ELENA: (Both girls exchange looks.) Serena, we do need the cash. A little kissing won't do us any harm.
SERENA: Okay. If you pay us double what you promised us.
DIRECTOR: What?!? No way, babe. No way.
(The girls stand obstinate, unmoving. Silence.)
DIRECTOR: Okay, all right, just get the hell in here and get back to where you were. You, on top of you . . . bottle of wine . . . all that shit. Get to it!
(All enter the room. Elena and Serena resume their positions on the bed – Serena tied up, Elena straddling the other girl, bottle in hand.)
ELENA: You like that, baby? Does that make you feel good?
SERENA: Oh yeah, oh yeah, that's it.
(The Director approaches, preparing for a close angle shot. As he approaches, Elena slams the wine bottle down on his head, knocking him unconscious.)
SERENA: What the hell? What are you doing?
ELENA: Getting us cash the good old-fashioned way . . . now help me out here.
(Elena grabs the Director, stripping him down. Serena realizes what's going on and helps, tying him to the bedposts.)
ELENA: That ought to do it. Now, grab his wallet and let's get the hell out of here before dickwad over here wakes back up.
SERENA: Hmm. Well . . . I guess that is one way to get some quick cash.
ELENA: Whatever works, right? Let's go, hurry up! (They leave.)
DIRECTOR: (Groggily, awakening slowly) Huh? What just happened to me? (He looks down, finding himself naked, robbed, and tied to the bed.) I knew I should've never used the American girls.
© 2006 Braeden Jones
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