Your best chat-up line?

from JoeUser Forums

Men of JU (and maybe women) I have faith in your wit and charm.  Honest I do.  Hehe.

So just use your imagination for a moment....imagine I am a hot female (remember use that imagination!), and I am stood at a bar, and I am the woman of your dreams.  You really want to talk to me.  You really want to approach me.  So you make sure you are looking your best, you take one last gulp of that drink, you muster up all of your confidence, and you approach me, and that one opening line that you use is......

humor
17,065 views 11 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

You are asking me?  A broken down old war horse?  Yea right!

My lame excuse for a line: "Thank you for showing up tonight and bringing some beauty into my dull day".

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Would you like to dance....at my table for me?
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

"Thank you for showing up tonight and bringing some beauty into my dull day".

Awww that would make me go bright red...haha!  I liked it though, so where we going on our second date   (Lord, I'm easy...hehe!)

Would you like to dance....at my table for me?

Errr...that depends, on just how desperate I get as the night goes on! 

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Hi! My friends and I [waves to totally normal-looking and cheerful friends of both genders, back at my table] are gonna walk across the street to the multiplex in a few, on account of it's fun to watch movies while half drunk. Would you like to join us? I guarantee you'll have a good time. And if you don't, I'll pay for your ticket. What do you say?"
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" "Not really..." "Just enough to break the ice; hey, I'm Trent."

I don't usually talk to people completely at random, but I do have quite the repertoire of really horrendous pick-up lines.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I've found "hello" usually works.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Damn, MasonM stole my sure-fire line. Experience has taught me that a pretty woman, standing by herself at a bar, is either waiting for someone and does not want to be hit on, is by herself because of some serious unseen flaws or is waiting for her huge, professional football-player boyfriend to return from the bathroom.

If she is none of these, then 'Hi, isn't it nice how places like this allow total strangers to meet each other and become friends' is a line that has worked for me. It is not overly funny or sleazy and usually, at the very least, illicits a polite response.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

Would you like to join us? I guarantee you'll have a good time. And if you don't, I'll pay for your ticket. What do you say?"

It sounded good....until....I have to pay for myself???  HUH???

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" "Not really..." "Just enough to break the ice; hey, I'm Trent."

Hehe, cute, bless ya!

I've found "hello" usually works.

Only usually....

Experience has taught me that a pretty woman, standing by herself at a bar, is either waiting for someone and does not want to be hit on, is by herself because of some serious unseen flaws or is waiting for her huge, professional football-player boyfriend to return from the bathroom

Hehe, I'd be the one with unseen flaws!

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
"All this turns into cock after midnight, wanna play Cinderella and play with my balls?"


HAHAHA!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Does this smell like chloroform to you?"


this one made me laugh out loud.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
i like the one
is there a mirror in my pocket cause i can see my in your legs