Would you like some cheese with that whine?
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I suppose it's born into us. From the first time we let our lungs explode as infants, demanding to be fed, we begin to whine. As infants, we learn, amazingly fast and well, what power we have over all around us. We can send them running away and we can draw them to us. We can break hearts and we can cause teeth to clench and knuckles to go white. We can demand attention and insist to be let alone. All with one simple cry.
Then we grow. We learn words. We discover that 'crying and screaming' are not accepted. We are forced to communicate on their level. We learn. We learn what words to use, which tone...just when to shed that one tear...whatever it takes. And this serves us. Until we grow some more. Then, we are broken like willfull puppies who must learn that it will not be tolerated for ever.
So we adapt. We learn to be subtle. We try reverse psychology. We try the passive agressive aproach. We learn which tactic works best with which person, group, or situation. Eventually, we just grow out of it or give up trying. Most of us, anyway. There are the few, that for whatever reason, never do stop. They are never broken. Never even encouraged to stop. They follow role models who never learned to stop. And these few aren't subtle. They aren't discreet. They are adult babies. They stamp their feet and clench their fists and rage at whatever is disturbing their little worlds.
I couldn't get away with whining to my parents. They wouldn't stand for it. My grandparents on the other hand...well, they found it amusing. My Grandmother would get right in my face and infuriate me.
"Does widdle woodums have a widdle pwobwemmmm?"
"Let's all have a pity party for widdle Noah."
As I got older, it progressed to her turning to me and rubbing her thumb and forefinger tips together.
"Do you know what this is? It's the worl's smallest violin playing "My Heart Bleeds For You."
If she was really 'amused' by my whining, she would just roll her eyes and say "Yeah, yeah, yeah.." (An expression I use myself to often) "..my heart bleeds gooey peanut butter for you."
She wasn't being heartless or cold. That's just the way she was. She didn't take from her kids and wasn't going to treat the grandkids any differently.
Over the years, I have heard all kinds of expressions that refer to whining.
'Quit your blubbering.'
'Do want some cheese with that?'
and dozens of others I am sure we have all heard.
But today...today I heard the best.
I have only lived in the south for a few years. I didn't know much about it before I came here. My wife is from South Carolina, which is where we both reside, now. When I asked her where she lived down here..where I would be moving to to be with her...she told me 'Podunk'. I told all my friends I was moving to 'Podunk'. I tried to find it on the map, but decided it was too small and couldn't be found. It 'sounded' small. Before I moved, I asked her for the address so I could give it to a few friends.
There is no 'Podunk'. But you knew that already didn't you.
But move I did. To the south. Where I am 'That Yankee Boy'. Where my ears are treated to a plethora of southern expressions.
Down here you don't 'turn the light off or on'. You 'cut' the light off or on. You also 'cut' the air, the heat, and the fan.
Down here, you don't just simply take a longer route. You 'go around the elbow to get to the ass'.
I could go on. But let's get back to 'whining'.
My wife recently had a business trip that involved being informed of some company 'restructuring'. She returned certain that either her job was on the line or she came darn close to it being on the line. Turned out she was perfectly safe the whole time. However, before she could aquire that bit of knowledge, she went to her boss when she returned and tried to find out from him what the deal was. He, in turn, contacted the guy who would knew to find out.
So today she call me from work to tell me everything is fine. She tells me what her boss (who is a southerner) said to her and how she took some (good humored) offense to it. I had to stop her.
"What did he say?"
She repeats it. Suddenly I have this image that Ican't get out of my head. It borders on disgusting. She continues to talk and all I can see is this image. And I start laughing to myself. I have to ask her to repeat it, so I can be sure I got it right.
"Is that with an 'L' or a 'W'?"
"An 'L'. What's so funny?'
"Nothin'. Nothin' hunny. Go on, I'm listening."
What her boss said he said to his boss was that "She came back here and was 'slinging snot' all over the place..."
I'll let you come up with your own image.
Anyway, now you have a new phrase to use for whining. If you don't like it, go sling your snot somewhere else cause all you're gonna get from me is my rendition of 'My Heart Bleeds For You.'
And maybe some cheese to go with it.
Then we grow. We learn words. We discover that 'crying and screaming' are not accepted. We are forced to communicate on their level. We learn. We learn what words to use, which tone...just when to shed that one tear...whatever it takes. And this serves us. Until we grow some more. Then, we are broken like willfull puppies who must learn that it will not be tolerated for ever.
So we adapt. We learn to be subtle. We try reverse psychology. We try the passive agressive aproach. We learn which tactic works best with which person, group, or situation. Eventually, we just grow out of it or give up trying. Most of us, anyway. There are the few, that for whatever reason, never do stop. They are never broken. Never even encouraged to stop. They follow role models who never learned to stop. And these few aren't subtle. They aren't discreet. They are adult babies. They stamp their feet and clench their fists and rage at whatever is disturbing their little worlds.
I couldn't get away with whining to my parents. They wouldn't stand for it. My grandparents on the other hand...well, they found it amusing. My Grandmother would get right in my face and infuriate me.
"Does widdle woodums have a widdle pwobwemmmm?"
"Let's all have a pity party for widdle Noah."
As I got older, it progressed to her turning to me and rubbing her thumb and forefinger tips together.
"Do you know what this is? It's the worl's smallest violin playing "My Heart Bleeds For You."
If she was really 'amused' by my whining, she would just roll her eyes and say "Yeah, yeah, yeah.." (An expression I use myself to often) "..my heart bleeds gooey peanut butter for you."
She wasn't being heartless or cold. That's just the way she was. She didn't take from her kids and wasn't going to treat the grandkids any differently.
Over the years, I have heard all kinds of expressions that refer to whining.
'Quit your blubbering.'
'Do want some cheese with that?'
and dozens of others I am sure we have all heard.
But today...today I heard the best.
I have only lived in the south for a few years. I didn't know much about it before I came here. My wife is from South Carolina, which is where we both reside, now. When I asked her where she lived down here..where I would be moving to to be with her...she told me 'Podunk'. I told all my friends I was moving to 'Podunk'. I tried to find it on the map, but decided it was too small and couldn't be found. It 'sounded' small. Before I moved, I asked her for the address so I could give it to a few friends.
There is no 'Podunk'. But you knew that already didn't you.
But move I did. To the south. Where I am 'That Yankee Boy'. Where my ears are treated to a plethora of southern expressions.
Down here you don't 'turn the light off or on'. You 'cut' the light off or on. You also 'cut' the air, the heat, and the fan.
Down here, you don't just simply take a longer route. You 'go around the elbow to get to the ass'.
I could go on. But let's get back to 'whining'.
My wife recently had a business trip that involved being informed of some company 'restructuring'. She returned certain that either her job was on the line or she came darn close to it being on the line. Turned out she was perfectly safe the whole time. However, before she could aquire that bit of knowledge, she went to her boss when she returned and tried to find out from him what the deal was. He, in turn, contacted the guy who would knew to find out.
So today she call me from work to tell me everything is fine. She tells me what her boss (who is a southerner) said to her and how she took some (good humored) offense to it. I had to stop her.
"What did he say?"
She repeats it. Suddenly I have this image that Ican't get out of my head. It borders on disgusting. She continues to talk and all I can see is this image. And I start laughing to myself. I have to ask her to repeat it, so I can be sure I got it right.
"Is that with an 'L' or a 'W'?"
"An 'L'. What's so funny?'
"Nothin'. Nothin' hunny. Go on, I'm listening."
What her boss said he said to his boss was that "She came back here and was 'slinging snot' all over the place..."
I'll let you come up with your own image.
Anyway, now you have a new phrase to use for whining. If you don't like it, go sling your snot somewhere else cause all you're gonna get from me is my rendition of 'My Heart Bleeds For You.'
And maybe some cheese to go with it.
