(I've been brewing this article for a while, but was finally spurred into writing it by an incident this afternoon)

*these are in no particular order, just as they come to me*

Women in minivans who drive insanely fast around parking lots just so's they can get a spot that's a whole 10 feet closer to the store entrance.  Matter of fact, anyone who does that.  But women in minivans seem to be the worst.

Women in minivans who can break the speed limit in parking lots but who cannot seem to do any faster than 'crawl' on 2 lane highways with no passing zones. 

People who stop in the middle of traffic circles to let traffic enter.  People entering the circle are the ones who yield, NOT the ones on the damn circle!!!!!!!!! There's a circle that I have to navigate when I go to the doctor's office, and I always, always, always get behind someone who comes to a dead stop on the circle so they can let someone on. 

People who don't seem to understand what interstate entrance ramps are for.  They're long like that so's you can get up to speed, folks.  Not for doing 15 mph on.  Also, you're supposed to YIELD to traffic that's already ON the road.  You do NOT get to threaten to sideswipe other cars already on the road, forcing them to come to a screeching halt in order to avoid a collision....and then you do NOT have the right to give the person you almost hit the finger!!!!!!!!!!!!  That's NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!

Little old ladies who come to a complete stop in the right hand lane of the interstate to let people on.  THAT"S NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!

People who pull into the left hand lane to pass slower moving traffic and then do 1/2 a mph faster than the traffic that they're passing.....and who continue to do that speed despite having seen the mile long tailback they've caused in their rear-view mirror.

Truckers who pull in behind me , doing about 70 mph and leaving about 6' between the rear end of my truck and their front bumper.  Dudes, d'you realize how much weight you've got there, and how much of a mess it'd make if I had to brake hard???  There wouldn't be anything left of me, my kids, or my truck if you hit me.  You make me very nervous when you do stuff like that, pally.  Matter of fact, some of you guys make me nervous ALL the time.  Some of you drive like you're driving a little Neon with an anorexic teenager in the driver's seat, when in reality you have thousands of pounds of metal and man and cargo, all of it travelling at a high rate of speed.  Scary.  Very scary.  Especially for me.  I've been up close and personal with the front end of one of y'alls rigs, and I have no desire to do it again.  Ever.

Women who try to apply makeup on the road. 

People who read books whilst driving.  I've actually seen this.  I saw a man in St Louis with a paperback leant up against the steering wheel happily going along a 6 lane highway, getting his fill of Anne Rice or whoever it was he was reading.  Incredibly stupid.  M-O-R-O-N.

Anyone who thinks it's okay to talk on a cell phone (without a hands-free headset), drink coffee, eat a bagel and do 75 mph on I-64 at 8am on a Friday morning, all the while weaving in and out of lanes with no turn signal or indication of what they were going to do, and who cut across THREE (yes, THREE) lanes to get to their exit.  If you're the chick with bleached blonde straw-like hair and orange fake-tan skin who I saw doing that ....lady, if I ever see you in public I'm going to kick your ass, and you'd deserve it because you're fekking stupid. 

*sigh* That's all I have to say about that. I feel better now.