proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity
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JoeUser Forums
On a package of airline peanuts: Open packet and eat contents. (i would have just eaten the bag too if i hadn't known that)
On a chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (if you've done this, raise your hand. wait-- i mean... oh never mind)
On a mirror for a bicycle helmet: Remember -- objects in the mirror are actually behind you. (how many accidents are these people going to cause?)
On a bottle of flavored-milk drink: After opening, keep upright. (i drink my milk upside down.)
On a steering-wheel lock: Warning -- remove lock before driving. (are these instructions for the car thief?)
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (but that's the only time i have to do it!)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". ("shoplifter special")
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how would that be?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (but it's only a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: printed on bottom of a box: "Do not turn upside down". (too late for you. that sucks.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (no kidding....)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (oh i'm not supposed to do that?? maybe that's why my clothes are still wrinkly.)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (this will help stop underage driving also.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (why exactly am i taking this?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to??)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (which is?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (i would hope so...)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (i blame the parents)
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face." (oh darn. now how am i going to show my school spirit
? )
On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. (i guess i'll have to by some other product to clean my tub first before i use the bathtub cleaner...)
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable! (sweeeet.)
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate." (oh really?)
On a stroller with the warning, "Remove child before folding." (oooook.)
there it is.
proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity.
"
On a chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (if you've done this, raise your hand. wait-- i mean... oh never mind)
On a mirror for a bicycle helmet: Remember -- objects in the mirror are actually behind you. (how many accidents are these people going to cause?)
On a bottle of flavored-milk drink: After opening, keep upright. (i drink my milk upside down.)
On a steering-wheel lock: Warning -- remove lock before driving. (are these instructions for the car thief?)
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (but that's the only time i have to do it!)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside". ("shoplifter special")
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and how would that be?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost." (but it's only a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: printed on bottom of a box: "Do not turn upside down". (too late for you. that sucks.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (no kidding....)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". (oh i'm not supposed to do that?? maybe that's why my clothes are still wrinkly.)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (this will help stop underage driving also.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (why exactly am i taking this?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to??)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use". (which is?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". (i would hope so...)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly". (i blame the parents)
On a bottle of spray paint: "Do not spray in your face." (oh darn. now how am i going to show my school spirit
? )On a bottle of bathtub cleaner: For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. (i guess i'll have to by some other product to clean my tub first before i use the bathtub cleaner...)
On a container of lighter fluid: WARNING: Contents flammable! (sweeeet.)
On a plastic orange juice can: "100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate." (oh really?)
On a stroller with the warning, "Remove child before folding." (oooook.)
there it is.
proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity.
"
