1- annoying yes, but easily corrected. we already have options to select engagement ranges and auto-attack for ships and fleets, you can try disabling the auto-attack and set engagement range to local area or hold position. Although an additional option to dictate target priorities would be nice.
2- I too have encountered this annoyance, nature of the beast i guess. In my experience, fleets move and behave around the lead fleet (flagship). If the flagship move, the fleet move, if the flagship stop, the fleet stops. I have never seen a fleet break formation and spread around the entire grav well during any battle. You can try and experiment with the fleet formation button and set it to loose or something like that, it might makes a different.
3- Have you ever played a RTS in which this have been possible?? The closest I have seen is the option to assing movement waypoints that go around the defences. And sins already have this option.
4- I get this a lot of times when i order my ships to attack a target, and that target jumps away, the ships will sit on the edge of the well, like wanting to pursue, but never jumps nor engage new targets, I have to order a stop order for them to respond. Also a few times I have encountered a bug with the auto-join fleet option, a new ship is built just as the fleet is jumping to another planet. The ship auto-join the fleet, but for some reason its starts going back and forth between the fleet and the point where all new ships auto assemble after being built. I resolve this by having all ships in the same grav well,and remaking the entire fleet. Again it just annoy one, easily corrected.
5- What RogerSmith13 said, also annoying
6- Yes its annoying, but I guess the only option would be to turn it off completly, but that would suck.
7- Yep its a bug.
Sins have tactical combat, that means having to micromanage your units in combat, just like in many RTS. If you simply want to build a fleet, give it a move order and it to start attacking and capturing/destroying enemy planets without any further attention from you and without any annoyances (sp?). Well, I don't think Sins is the best game suited for your taste.