Weekly Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Earth Is Smaller Than Thought, New Measurements Show"--headline, National Geographic, July 9

It really is a small world after all.

"France Needs to Quit Thinking and 'Get to Work' "--headline, CNNMoney.com, July 10

Maybe they are just thinking of getting to work?

"Prince William to Check Immigration Status"--headline, Washington Times, July 11

Even the Royals are not immune!

"Internet Blamed for Shanghai Teen Pregnancies"--headline, Reuters, July 10

Shades of the Omni Brain!  Computers are now impregnating people!

"Joke Comprehension May Decrease With Age"--headline, Associated Press, July 10

More likely, they have just heard them all before.

"Sun Accused of Putting Users at Risk"--headline, PC World, July 10

The real cause of Global warming discovered!  the Sun is killing us.

"Wise Teacher Pleads Guilty to Contributing to Delinquency of Minor"--headline, Bristol (Va.) Herald Courier, July 11

Stupid teachers must not know how.

"Councilman Proposes No Hanging Out on Public Square Law"--headline, WEWS-TV Web site (Cleveland), July 12

Horse theives relieved.

"US Food Companies Hit by China Ban"--headline, Financial Times, July 15

Paper plate stocks take off on the news.

"India Seen Sticking to Guns at U.S. Nuclear Talks"--headline, Reuters, July 14

"They will pry my gun from my cold dead fingers...." is now being outsourced as well.

"Grouper to Serve as Online Talent Agency"--headline, Associated Press, July 16

Guess that agency is "fishing" for talent.

"Skulls confirm we're all out of Africa" --headline, AOL July 18

Or Africa confirms we are all out of our Skulls.

humor
15,522 views 16 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Skulls confirm we're all out of Africa"

So I'm an African American, then? I'm applying for some scholarships.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
So I'm an African American, then? I'm applying for some scholarships.


Guess so! Guess that makes us all eligible!
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Skulls confirm we're all out of Africa" --headline, AOL July 18


But will they ever restock?
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
"India Seen Sticking to Guns at U.S. Nuclear Talks"

We only want guns, not nukes.

"Earth Is Smaller Than Thought, New Measurements Show"

The Earth lost 40 pounds on this diet, and now you can too!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
But will they ever restock?


The headhunters are sure trying.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
The Earth lost 40 pounds on this diet, and now you can too!


I wonder when some huckerster is going to come up with that one!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
The Earth lost 40 pounds on this diet, and now you can too!


I wonder when some huckerster is going to come up with that one!


Just about the time he posted it.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Joke Comprehension May Decrease With Age"--headline, Associated Press, July 10

More likely, they have just heard them all before.

I don't get it.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
double post
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Joke Comprehension May Decrease With Age"--headline, Associated Press, July 10

More likely, they have just heard them all before.

I don't get it.


Too old huh?
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

Reply By: uDigItTheMostPosted: Thursday, August 09, 2007
"Joke Comprehension May Decrease With Age"--headline, Associated Press, July 10

More likely, they have just heard them all before.

I don't get it.

You cant fool an old coot!  You aint that old yet!

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
(I'm only smiling because I don't understand )
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
You're running on all twelve cylinders, Doc. Very good!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

(I'm only smiling because I don't understand )

Well, it is like this.......

What was I going to say?

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

You're running on all twelve cylinders, Doc. Very good!

Does tha make me a jag-e-waar?

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
'33 Packard--right out of the old school!