Earthquake!

or; torremotos

from JoeUser Forums
Imposing edifices rise . . .

The ground around me starts to crack

The grass erupts in waves of earth

The tarmacadam shimmers, black



These buildings 'round me reach so high

They seem to kiss the very sun

They rattle loudly in the wind

They shive, shake, they come undone



The glass at once begins to fall

These shards, obsidian and blue

I dart from side to side in fear

They're separating me from you



The jaws of hell gape open wide

They move to stop and swallow me

I fall, defeated in their grasp

You are the last thing that I see













© 2006 Braeden Jones
poetry
1,930 views 7 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
This one reminds me of something, though I can't for the life of me figure out what it is... When I do, I will let you know.

Another good effort, mate. Keep 'em coming.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
This one reminds me of something, though I can't for the life of me figure out what it is... When I do, I will let you know.


Do let me. This one just kinda flowed out at church yesterday . . . maybe I should've been paying attention instead of writing . . . nah.
ObjectDock - Access shortcuts and frequently used applications from an animated dock.
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
The only critique I can offer is this...lose the last line. It's redundant and spoils the tight cadence of the piece.


I think I will. I think you've got a good point.

Oh. Just did.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Just saw this, SC. I'm certainly no poetry expert but I like what I see! Keep it up...   
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
How about a tit shot?


Oh baby! I don't know how I'll recover after that . . .
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
It gave me a great visual of those highrises falling..skyscrapers in the sky...

Wow...good job!