They Walk Among US

from WinCustomize Forums

A  DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' this country is in  trouble:

1.  I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman  (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get  messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2.  I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's  (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started  to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then  he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but  Capetown is in  Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him  look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown  is in Africa ''

His response -- click.

3.  A  senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a   Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in  Orlando .. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain  that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the  state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and  Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4.  I got a call from a lawmaker's wife  (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada   ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on  the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5.  An aide for a cabinet  member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car  in  Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a  1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,  he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to  drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6.  An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan  Schakowsky)  called last week She needed to know how it was possible  that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33  a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but  she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the  plane went fast, and she bought that.

7.  A  New  York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your  physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to  whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I  checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),  and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him  on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I  came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. Is (FAT - Fresno  Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his  luggage.

8.  A Senator John Kerry  aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to  Hawaii   . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to  fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii   ?''

9.  I just got off the phone with a freshman  Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which  plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he  replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes  have numbers on them.''

10.  Senator  Dianne Feinstein (D)
Called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola ,  Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer  planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to  Pensacola , FL on a  commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever,  smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a  question about the documents she needed in order to fly to  China   .  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that  she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and  never had to have one of those''

I double checked and sure enough,  her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been  to China four times and every time they have accepted my American  Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman  (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to  Rhino, New York .''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said,  ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do  you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back  with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country  and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't  be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I  scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't  mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big  animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's  in!

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN  POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.. 

5,428 views 20 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Don't let starkers see this. He'll have a field day.

HEY STARKERS .... LOOKEE HERE!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Finally, something truly funny!  Thanks fellow MSgt! :grin: :rofl:

ObjectDock - Access shortcuts and frequently used applications from an animated dock.
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Don't let starkers see this. He'll have a field day.
End of quote

Hehe, I always knew politicians were this stupid....

And their staffers?    Well just look at who hired them.

How's that old saying go... "When you need someone to do an idiot's bidding, hire another idiot." :w00t:

Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top

You are aware that the whole list is a concocted bunch of crap, right?
End of quote

Yep, but I think making up crap about politicians is an immensely fun past-time and should become a national/international sport that's recognised by the Olympic committee and the world over.

It's like the politician who went to confession...

Politician: "Father, father, it is that I have sinned."

Priest: "And what is it you have done, my son?"

Politician: "Twice this year, Father, I had wicked, sinful thoughts."

Priest: "And what were those, my son?"

Politician: Well, Father, once I almost told the truth, and once I briefly contemplated keeping a promise."

 

Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top

God help us! XD

Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Quoting k10w3, reply 4
You are aware that the whole list is a concocted bunch of crap, right?  It's funny...but it's false. 

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp
End of k10w3's quote

 

Good research, Karen. Good to know they aren't that clueless.

Unfortunately, they're beyond that.

Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top

From the way this country is run .... I'd believe it. Bass-ackwards is the norm. :w00t:

Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Good research, Karen. Good to know they aren't that clueless.

Unfortunately, they're beyond that.
End of quote

Yeah, our pollies set up a think tank to tackle the effects of drought.... after a year of deliberations the tank was still dry.

The cops pull over a car that's weaving erratically all over the road and approaches the driver.

Politician: "What's wrong officer, was I speeding?"

Cop: "No Sir."

Politician: indignantly roars, "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

Cop: "Yes sir, Senator Heffernan, sir."

Politician: "Well why the hell did you pull me over, then?"

Cop: "You were driving erratically and swerving all over the road."

Politician: "Yeah, well you'd be swerving all over the road if you kept seeing all these pink elephants.

Hehe, 

I bet Senator Heffernan now wishes his was not the deciding vote that helped pass Random Breath Testing Legislation.

:-" ;P :w00t:

Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top

ou are aware that the whole list is a concocted bunch of crap, right? It's funny...but it's false.
End of quote

 

Yes, but it's better reading a funny, made-up list than an actual list of the stupid shit that these people perpetuate on us daily.

 

Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Yes, but it's better reading a funny, made-up list than an actual list of the stupid shit that these people perpetuate on us daily.
End of quote

I'll drink to that... tho if this made up crap were true it'd be even funnier.

As fas as I'm concerned, politicians place themseves in the public spotlight, all too often for the wrong reasons, so I reckon they're fair game and should be prime targets of public ridicule and denigration.

Some of them, however, should be prime targets of another kind... aaarrgghh, an' it be cannon practice wot comes t' mind 'ere.

:w00t:

Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Oh boy, you mean to tell me those things in the OP were not...........................crap, I sent an email off to my Senator and Congressman.  I wish people would tell me when they are making a joke, now I will probably have to move again.  :O :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top

now I will probably have to move again.
End of quote

Nah, don't worry about it, Philly, neither of them will be able to track you down.

Even with a GPS your address is gonna be near impossible for either of them to find.

That's why they have government drivers, but from what I hear they only know how to find bars [usually for their passengers] and prominent landmarks.

The other train of thought here, is that they'll jibe and poke fun at their colleagues amd opponents based on the contents of that email you sent...

So with a bit of luck, either or both will have been shot or are too preoccupied with legal proceedings for slander/defamation to figure that a taxi driver would know how to find your joint as easy as that.

:-"

Other than that, you could always apply for a government relocation grant and see if you can swap houses with somebody in Alaska.... Hawaii if you like it a bit warmer.

Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Hawaii if you like it a bit warmer.
End of quote

Better hurry though before the big island slides into the drink. Well ... half of it anyway. That's another disaster waiting to happen. Don't let the politicos know though. One or two might want to sell tickets.

Reply #15 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Better hurry though before the big island slides into the drink. Well ... half of it anyway. That's another disaster waiting to happen
End of quote

Sadly, that may be closer to fact than we'd like to think.  Given the 8.9 quake in Japan, a similar event is likely elsewhere to recalibrate and help keep the Earth in its constant dynamic state, rotationally and orbit-wise. 

Catastrophic natural events such as these caused such things as ice ages millions of years ago, so let's hope mother nature doesn't think we're long overdue for another ice age.

As for the majority of politicians [getting back on topic], most have two brains... one's lost and the other is out looking for it. :w00t:

Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top

well Here is a real congressman, he thinks Guam will tip over if it get to populated

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg

Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Here is a real congressman, he thinks Guam will tip over if it get to populated
End of quote

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: LOL  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: LOL LOL

Now that is one dumbass elected official.... surely, if he didn't want to send any more servicemen and their families there, he could have come up with something better than "Guam will tip over if it becomes too populated"

Now I've heard everything.  :S

Oh, wait a minute!!!  No I haven't!!!

There's bound to be another politician open his/her mouth and put his/her foot in it, right? 


Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Our intelligent politicos hard at work. Below is how you can contribute to this latest disaster.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcK4oDdl66g&NR=1

Check out these other videos on youtube. A redneck's delight.

Hiya Jim.

Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Bloke needs a brain transplant and the doc gives him a list of available brains and prices.

He notices that doctors and lawyers brains are $100 a pound...

That engineers and chemists brains are $150 a pound

Further down the list factory workers and laborers brains at $200 a pound

Then there's the nurses and shopkeepers brains at $250 a pound

Next were school teachers and professors brains at $300 a pound....

Then right at the very bottom, politicians brains at $5000 a pound.

The bloke asks the doctor why politician brains are so expensive..... and the doc says:

"Well that's simple.  It just takes so many of them to make up a pound."

:-"