PoSmedley PoSmedley

To Boldly Go Where No Po Has Gone Before

To Boldly Go Where No Po Has Gone Before

So, I have been trying to get W.O.W. installed on my step-sons new PC. It's been rough. Yrag has been a great help. (*note to self - must write a thread on what iit is like the first time you hear the voice of someone you have only texted in forums with for five years)

In doing this, I have been forced to participate in this so called 'game' in order to make it crash or see if I have gotten it right. I have always hated these multi-player-role-playing games. The obsession they bring out in kids. The 'talk'. I really don't care that a level 63 Deathknight has just ripped anyone off of a 1000 pieces of gold. I tell him that he should have gotten the guy to complete the quest with him first and THEN payed him and he just rolls his eyes at me.

And then there is the 'chat' that goes on. How many times can one person call another a 'fucking noob' in five minutes? At least 18. I wanted to explain that I wasn't a fucking noob and didn't mean to keep walking through him. I just wanted to get the game loaded right on my kids PC. But I couldn't figure out how to post.  I'm starting to hate these fucking Deathknights myself. Just who do they think they are?

I ask the boy if he is a Deathknight yet and he says he has two more levels to go. I hope he isn't as stuck up as the ones I have already met. I hope I have instilled better virtues than that in him.

Then I see his pet. A giant bat of somekind. He's in a public market or city where he doesn't need the damn thing hovering around distracting me.

"Why do you have the bat showing?"

"He's my pet."

"Yeah, I know that, but you don't need him here.'

"Yeah, but he's my pet."

"You're just showing off."

"What do you mean?"

"You're just showing off. Bragging. 'Hey! Lookit me! I got so far in this game I have a giant bat that looks really cool (and it does) as a pet."

"Other people have bats."

"Yeah, but you're the only one showing yours off."

"Am not"

"Future-Deathknight-snob"

"What'd you call me?"

"Nuthin. Go away and let me finish."

Yrag I know your laughing.  *Yrag heard a 'dicussion' between me and the boy over the phone. It went like this.

"Okay, bud. Sign off. I need to try something else." (Phone to my ear with Yrag on the other end)

"WHAT? I've only been on for 5 minutes!"

"I need to look at something to see if it's causing the game to crash."

"But I have only been on 5 minutes!!!"

"Dude, please"

"DUDE, PUHLEEZE!"

"Dude.."

"DUUUuuude!"

 ANyway......

Here I am with this giant bat flying around my head. I close it, reopen it and create my own character. Some kind of shaman-troll thing (It looks like a big cow with a pony tail) I suddenly get this whole movie about my race (I picked a cool one) and am automatically on my first quest to collect seven feathers and seven pieces of meat from some wierd blue-emu like birds.

And I can 'zap' the birds or beat them with my walking staff.

Then I fetch some water for the chief.

Then I am killing these pig-like things and collecting their belts. And the boy is behind me. "You have to go through the thorns...there..THERE..GET HIM"

Some fucking noob comes flying up behind me and starts zapping the pig-thing I am trying to kill. "NOOB!!!!"

..................................................

I go to Best Buy that afternoon to look at graphic cards for his PC. (Intergrated 6150se nforce430 pice of crap) I find myslef in the games section. Looking at W.O.W. Then I pick up the box for STar Trek Online. I look at it. Read it. It takes place after Star Trek Next Generation. And you get your own ship. You are the caprtain. And you can DESIGN the ship. You can even make your own aliens. Someone has made a game where I..PoSmedley..can make my own aliens! Fools! I will make an alien that will be so cool that everyone in the STar Trek universe will bow before me and call me Khan. I will be awesome. My ship. Oh! My ship will rule! It will freakin rock the nebulas! I will call myself Captain Smedley..NO..no no no..Captain Po!

I look up from the box. Some kid, about 12 or so is staring at me. He points to a box on the shelf. "THis is the one you want." It's 'Diablo'. I look at it, then at W.O.W.....and then at the one in my hand. :What do you know about this one?" I show him the box.

A voice in the back of my head begins to laugh at me. I tell it to shut up.

It responds.

"Bitten! You're bitten!"

"Shut up!"

"Dude!"

"Duuude?!"

"DUUUU-uuUUde!"

"DUDE!"

"mwahahahahahahahaha..."

 

 

 

21,927 views 84 replies
Reply #76 Top

So, how many can go into the Trunk????
End of quote

Good. DRaw attention to the trunk! Now we have to move the bodies. Who the fuck lets these amateurs in here?!?!?!?!

Reply #77 Top

just one per elephant...far as i know.  ;P

Reply #78 Top

LMAO!!!! Just leave the bodies as they lay....no one notice them anyway!

Reply #79 Top

Captains Log

Stardate -313141.8

It would seem that..Starfleet has taken pity on me. I have become the joke of the quadrant and my ship is jokingly referred to as the 'Jupiter II'. (?)

They have granted me permission to try and sucker draft another starfleet candidate into this mindless world of MPRPG. I have been given an authorization code...a 'buddy key' that will allow one fool would be captain to participate in this charade adventure free for 5 days.

I am sending out a galaxy wide alert for the one person who may feel they are stupid enough have what it takes to join Starfleet. Just reply with your mental disorder qualifications and a good reason I should take you down with me let you join fleet.

Fellowes Out.

Reply #80 Top

Sorry. Doc was just assimilated by the Borg... 7of9, to be exact.

Reply #81 Top

Are you sure you aren't called Captain Dunsel?

Reply #82 Top

Are you sure you aren't called Captain Dunsel?
End of quote

I'm having fun. I don't know what the hell I am doing...quite yet...but I am having fun.

 

The Impulse forums for STOL are all but dead. This totally blows. There is no moderator for them and no one keeping them up to date.

Reply #83 Top

Po' for Mod!  :grin:

Reply #84 Top

Po' for Mod!
End of quote

What the hell did I ever do to you?