The Advantages of Turning 35

I'm not quite 35 (until May), but it is stalking at my doorstep, and I was contemplating the advantages of 35, and thought I would post this before my feeble grey matter starts to deteriorate further. So, here's the list I came up with:

--Outlived Jesus Christ, Alexander the Great, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Janis Joplib, Jimi Hendrix -- and accomplished much, much less.

--365 days from being too old to enlist in the Army on a drunken bar bet

--will officially be no more than 80 million heartbeats away from the presidency.

--30 years from being able to retire and collect my BIG FAT GOVERNMENT CHECK, plus all those cool benefits Ed McMahon keeps talking about.

--MIGHT finally stop getting carded by idiots half my age

--old enough to be "retro-chic", young enough to enjoy it

--old enough to start planning mid-life crisis, including selection of cool cars and possible trophy wives.

Have a great day, folks!