This is the second time this has happened and last!!!!

from WinCustomize Forums
I complimented someone for their WB skin, and before that it was a screenshot I complimented someone on. The person that actually made the WB skin, Chichigirl, was a good friend of mine. I should have known by the style that this was hers. I hope I did not lose her friendship, she was very hurt that I would do this to her. The screenshot I complimented was just that, a screenshot. My wording made it sound like I was complimenting the person for making the WB skin instead of just setting it up as a screenshot. From now on, I will not compliment ANYONE on their WB skins, wallpaper, screenshots or anything else. I cannot believe that I got my butt in this mess not once but twice. I love WC, but I will no longer put myself in the position of getting slammed for just plain ignorance on my part. I don't know how to skin, do WBs, do anything other than download and I will no longer put myself in this position. I would not hurt anyone. I think you people that do the actual Window Blind skins, put them together as screenshots and make the gorgeous wallpapers, icons, object docks, etc are terribly creative but I evidently don't know how to give credit to who deserves it and so if you will please beg my pardon, will not longer be able to praise anyone for their work. I enjoyed jumping on here first thing in the morning and seeing who had what and downloading and using the different programs and praising each and every one of you for your work but I didn't know the difference between who rob from who and who did what. I will just download from now on. Chichigirl, you are one of the nicest people I ever met and I am just so,so sorry for hurting you.

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7,013 views 21 replies
Reply #1 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Why not just email her and tell her that. If it was me, I'd believe you and all would be forgotten. Just keep commenting and try and not worry so much.


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Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I have no idea what happened!
Multiplicity - Control multiple PCs using one keyboard and mouse
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Dianekk - chichi doesnt visit WC anymore - for various reasons
(better chance of catching her on Skinbase.org)

Or as WOM said via email....
Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Kona https://www.wincustomize.com/msgboard.asp?BID=WC&id=212376#212444


Dianekk I woulden't worry your pretty head about it....just e-mail her
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
np
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Okay, just read where the problem was more or less taken care of as far as the guy downloading her skins. Sorry, I was just so hurt to get the Email from her today. I did not know I was downloading her skins. Enough already. I just fly off the handle and get upset when I get accused of stuff I don't even know I am doing. That is why I need to shut the h... up.



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Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
That is why I need to shut the h... up.


..don't do that! Finesse in posting on message boards is something that you gain through experience. Don't let these sad experiences rob you of the value of your lesson! You are mostly there!
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Diane, sorry to read this happened to you and I am beting that ChichGirl feels sorry for her reaction and such with you. I am with WOM totally on this. Email her and talk with her and I bet it will all smooth over. For you personally I hope this doesn't stop you from feeling it is not only ok to comment but that you can do so without being lambasted, especially by someone you hold dear as a friend.



your a good lady and I bet an even better friend, don't forget that and do not let anyone make you feel less than that even if they are hurting...

that is something you do not deserve in the least from anyone...

chin up lady, smile it does help and keep being who you are because we need more peoples such as yourself in this world and on this site
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Good Grief! did chichi e-mail every person that commented on those skins?
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Goodmorphing, you are right, I know, but I just started getting on chat boards, at work and here and I feel like everytime I say something, it is the wrong thing. Guess that is a big inferiority complex I need to take care of and not take so much offense. I try to compliment people, and really mean it, and get in trouble every darn time I open my trap. Maybe I need to do a little more research first instead of just spying something I like and saying, "Yeh, I like that, great stuff". I don't know the first thing about skinning so it is just plain ignorance on my part. But, if I spent hours making something and someone else was getting the glory, I am sure I would be just as ticked off. Just hope they know, I don't mean any offense. Oh well, enough said, once again, I stuck my foot in my mouth without thinking and from now on, I will do a little more research. Lesson learned.



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Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I think it's more a case that the people who jumped on you should apologize to you for their manners and expecting you to be omniscient to know out of literally thousands of skins who did what. Sheesh.

Put the responsibility where it lies. People can point things out that you didn't know without being unpleasant or making you feel bad. All they have to do is explain not blame.



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Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Dianekk, didn't you used to be just Dianek?

Anyways.... just so's you know, IMHO it doesn't pay to be second guessing other people. Seems to me it is hard enough to first-guess one's self. From what I have seen, you are doing the right stuff. Maybe you have your heart on your sholder a little. Don't take on other people's stuff, OK? People who wear their hearts on their sholders have enough dealing with their empathy.... they don't need to figure out what other people are thinking or feeling. For me, I have learned to view internet communications through emails and messenger with a zillion degrees of seperation. No way you can ever know who EXACTLY you are dealing with, what perspective they are yapping at you through.... Shoots, hard enough to fathom those things face to face, eye to eye..... or even eye to mirror.



IMO
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Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Dianekk, don't worry, just do as WOM has suggested. If she doesn't respond favorably at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you tried. That's the important thing. Or you could be more like me and be mean and nasty to everybody and eventually they'll just shrug you off. Ha. Take that Britney Spears! >
Reply #15 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Amazing, Chichi then Emails me and blasts me for starting this thread. I think I may have misjudged this lady. I did not do anything wrong and to consider someone a "friend" because you Emailed them and complimented their skins and they Emailed you back, etc., etc, was a little stupid on my part. Friends are people you see and do things with and get to know. Email correspondance is just that. Correspondance. If I offended her for complimenting someone else's skin, sorry. How the Sam-hill was I suppose to know whose skin it was. This is nuts. I mean totally nuts. I did appologize immediately and got another nasty back so screw it. What am I suppose to do, tear off my arm? Next time I compliment one of you I'll use an alias. Sheesh, end of story!!


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Reply #16 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Dianekk, don't worry, some people are getting upset too fast...

/me has to considder spending more time on wc, I think I missed this 'saga'
Reply #17 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Diane,

You have not done anything wrong. You saw something you liked and you commented on it. How can anyone argue that there's something wrong with that? You were being a nice person.

But indeed, I was much in the same place as you are right now with ChiChi. So have many others. She can be really nice when she wants to. She has been nice to me on a given day and then sent email that was incredibly nasty the next. Eventually she alienated so many people here and ticked off admins (myself included) to the point where we banned her.

And consider just how unacceptable her behavior must have been to ban her. She was a prolofic WindowBlinds skinner. Every benefit of the doubt was given to her because she had contributed so much to the community - and for Stardock's main product at that. It required exhausting an immense amount of good will in order to get banned.

Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I have to add my 2 cents on this..Some ppl at WC are plain Mean..Dont take em seriously..Its not like you have to actually see and work with them..Ive been flamed hard by some and you just have to ignore them or tell them off.Some ppl need to realize how to TACTFULLY inform some one of a FAUX PAU...Evreyone screws up....Just seem ppl are so pathetic they have to reavel in others little mistakes cuz they are losers....Im sorry some one gave you crap over such a little thing...Big Hugs and dont feel bad.....Smile cuz others out here have had to deal with it before....
Reply #19 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Also Listen to FrogBoy..Hes a real tropper so is KarmaGirl and Jafo....These are the few to listen to on issues such as this..
Reply #20 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Drop125:

1. the person sending the unpleasant emails to Diane is not a member or participant of this site.

2. You've previously portrayed yourself as a "victim" here, saying people here have flamed you "hard," laughed at you, etc. However, the facts (available to all via the search function) prove quite the contrary, showing how you have been helped on the site and not the target of flames and people just being "mean." Another thread where you claimed you were flamed and that was shown not to be the case:
https://www.wincustomize.com/msgboard.asp?BID=WC&id=200079#200210

Please do not contribute to the fog of self-proclaimed "victimhood" by characterizing yourself as having been mistreated on this site by others when that is not the case.



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Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top

Anyway guys, let's not argue amongst ourselves.

Fact is, there ARE mean people on WinCustomize. But there are a lot fewer now than there used to be.

Like many people, when we started the site, our first instinct was to go with "right of free speech". In the United States, even hate speech is protected.

But over time, we foudn the forums just becoming increasingly nasty.  It's really hard to keep a forum "nice" when you have millions of people visiting the site. Our forums aren't as active as other sites but on the other hand, other forums don't attract such a wide RANGE of people.

So in the past year, we've slowly migrated to more of a policy of removing mean people. People who intentioally try to irritate others or constantly bash things.  Disagreement is fine. Meanness is not. I think one of the reasons why this forum has become more pleasant again is the change in policy -- quietly removing the trouble makers.