Weird and Wacky Headlines

Laugh, Yell, or Groan, or Make your own

from JoeUser Forums

"Mercury Drops, Revives Cold Wave"--headline, Times of India, Jan. 22

WOW!  And I thought it was the other way around - a cold wave causes the mercury to drop

"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--headline, OnMilwaukee.com, Jan. 12

Creature from the black cesspool?

"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--headline, National Post (Canada), Jan. 22

This one is not Dick Cheney's fault.

"State Officials Travel to China to Sell Georgia"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Jan. 21

Nothing good has come out of that state since Gone With the Wind Anyway.

"Judge Sentences Rhymes to Probation"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 23

No More Limericks until further notice

"Singer Says Rumors That He Is Dead Aren't True"--headline, Times-Union (Jacksonville, Fla.), Jan. 24

A voice from Beyond

"U.S. Recession to Hit Canada Hardest"--headline, Pravda, Jan. 25

Our 51st state?

"French Government Will Fight Any Hostile Takeover"--headline, Toronto Star, Jan. 29

Like they did in 1940?

"Spears Now in Hands of Doctors"--headline, CNN.com, Feb. 1

Now that is what I call Witch doctoring!

"Arkansas State Fair Ranked Among Top 50 Fairs"--headline, Arkansas Business, Feb. 5

That is a great way of saying it is the worst.

"Scientists Grow Human Skin in France"--headline, SkyNews.com, Feb. 4

A greater feat would be growing backbones there.

humor
17,946 views 13 replies
Reply #1 from Stardock Forums Top

 

"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--
End of quote

That's good.  No one wants a dead anus.

"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--
End of quote

Ducks plan to sue Hollywood for slander.

"State Officials Travel to China to Sell Georgia"--
End of quote
 

Now we're outsourcing actual states.

"Judge Sentences Rhymes to Probation"--
End of quote

Hard times hit rhymes...uh oh, now I'm in trouble.

"French Government Will Fight Any Hostile Takeover"--
End of quote

Enacted policy of "Pretending not to be home."

"Spears Now in Hands of Doctors"--
End of quote
 

They won't remove your tonsils, they'll destroy them.

"Scientists Grow Human Skin in France"--
End of quote

Now they actually have to dress up for Halloween.

 

Good stuff, Doc. :D

~Zoo

Reply #2 from Stardock Forums Top

:D Funny stuff, Doc. A lot of good ones.

Star Control: Origins
Reply #3 from Stardock Forums Top

:LOL:

Reply #4 from Stardock Forums Top

Good stuff, Doc. ~Zoo
End of quote

Yours are as well!  Thanks for the additions! :LOL:

Reply #5 from Stardock Forums Top

Funny stuff, Doc. A lot of good ones.
End of quote

From the master, that is high praise!  Thanks!;)

Reply #6 from Stardock Forums Top

Quoting dynamaso, reply 3
End of dynamaso's quote

Thanks!  Somethings do transcend borders. ;)

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yours are as well! Thanks for the additions!
End of quote


Thank ya, just workin' on honing my skills. :)

~Zoo
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Arkansas State Fair Ranked Among Top 50 Fairs"--headline, Arkansas Business, Feb. 5
End of quote


:LOL:

Kinda like the Russian news report about a race between a Soviet ship and an American one. They reported that while the Soviet ship came in second, the American ship came in next to last. They were the only two in the race.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank ya, just workin' on honing my skills.
End of quote


Create your own, or add to this one. Laughs are good no matter where you find them. ;)
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
They reported that while the Soviet ship came in second, the American ship came in next to last.
End of quote


Where do you think Arkansas got the idea? ;)
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
:LOL:


"Uranus Factory Outlet LIVES!"--headline, OnMilwaukee.com, Jan. 12
End of quote

-I guess because there's no Inlet store its outlet only?
-So that's where assholes come from?


"Stars Shoot Down Ducks"--headline, National Post (Canada), Jan. 22
End of quote


Total Matrix style? Talk about dodging a bullet!

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
-So that's where assholes come from?
End of quote


 :LOL: 
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
 :LOL: