Weekly Dose of Weird and Whacky Headlines

from JoeUser Forums

"Soldier From Venus Dies in Iraq"--headline, Dallas Morning News, Sept. 8

Now THAT is an illegal alien!

"China Agrees to Lead Paint Ban"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 11

No more color - natural wood only.

"Bay City Schools Adds Staff to Handle More Kindergartners"--headline, Bay City (Mich.) Times, Sept. 11

No more spare the rod crap in Bay City.

"Washington Leads Nation in Putting Off Retirement"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 12

Our founders aknow the value of work!

"Youth Home Celebrating 100th Year"--headline, Kalamazoo (Mich.) Gazette, Sept. 13

Must be Vulcan if 100 is still "youth"!

"Witness Says He Tried to Protect Johnson"--headline, Waterloo-Cedar Falls (Iowa) Courier, Sept. 13

Loreena Bobbitt on the loose again!

"Genetics Make Salmon Bear Trout"--headline, Times of India, Sept. 14

What do you get when you cross a bear with a fish?

"Police Find Live Chicken in Wisconsin Man's Trunk at Traffic Stop"--headline, FoxNews.com, Sept. 15

And a dead duck when he gets home!

"University in N.D. Warns Students About Pirating"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 10

Arrg, fer Cap'n Starkers!  New Recruits from just west o' Stardock!

"Police Deny Tampering With Dam Evidence"--headline, Age (Melbourne, Australia), Sept. 19

"Ok, Harry, where did you put the dam file on that dam bank robbery!"

"Russert Confronts Hillary on Flip-Flops"--headline, NewsMax.com, Sept. 23

Her pumps were in the shop for re-souling.

"Raging Bull Attacks Connecticut Home"--headline, Associated Press, Sept. 22

DeNiro has been hitting the sauce again.

"Men Are Smarter (and More Stupid) Than Women, Say Scientists"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Sept. 24

I agree with that, no I dont.  Yes I do (no I dont).  Sure we are - aren't we dear?

humor
11,443 views 9 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
:LOL:

"Men Are Smarter (and More Stupid) Than Women, Say Scientists"--headline, Daily Mail (London), Sept. 24
End of quote


Same scientist proclaim that Global Warming is (and isn't) real.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Same scientist proclaim that Global Warming is (and isn't) real.
End of quote


We can always agree (or not) with them. ;)
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

"Witness Says He Tried to Protect Johnson"--
 

Never go for a walk with dog treats in your pocket.

"Genetics Make Salmon Bear Trout"--

This creature may be in league with ManBearPig.  (Little South Park reference for ya)

"Police Find Live Chicken in Wisconsin Man's Trunk at Traffic Stop"--

Thankfully before he got to the finger lickin' part.

~Zoo

 

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
! At first, some of these were bland but it ended really dam good!!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Soldier From Venus Dies in Iraq"--headline, Dallas Morning News, Sept. 8


I thought men were from Mars? Wait, that is rather sexist of me. Maybe this refers to a female soldier.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

This creature may be in league with ManBearPig. (Little South Park reference for ya)

I forgot about Southpark!

Thankfully before he got to the finger lickin' part.

Gross! (but a good one!)

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

At first, some of these were bland but it ended really dam good!!

Yea, I have not had time to really look.  But check out Adnauseum's as well for a foreign look at the news!  I like his as well.

Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

I thought men were from Mars? Wait, that is rather sexist of me. Maybe this refers to a female soldier.

or dont ask dont tell.

(That is the current Gay Policy for he US military and is very controversial).

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top