Abhorent technology details / descriptions

Wow, you really read that stuff ...???
But, you are CORRECT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The tech descrips are ...
Dumber than "Forrest Gump"
Thank Yosh for the mouse click ...

Personally, I think it's funny, and so I enjoy it. A game can be too serious, you know.

they are MEANT TO BE HUMEROUS. self-deprecating humor is what it's called in this instance. even the most straightforward of them really doesn't quite make the standards of 'hard sci-fi'. is it that important to you that it doesn't? if so i suppose there is nothing stopping you from fixing that yourself, that way you guarentee that it meets your expectations. but please don't start a thread about how you can't have ship to ship combat at warp speeds or anything like that. if you want it to be perfectly consistent, utterly scientifically correct, invariably serious you WILL have to do it yourself or recruit a group of likeminded folks(good luck with that) to mod it. hell, i just might download it myself for shits and giggles

Oh, now I get it ...
The dopey tech updates are funny ????
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
... NOT ...

Porcupine,

Actually, the only assertion I thought one could reasonably garner from my comment was that I believe the flavour surrounding the technology takes away from the atmosphere of the game.

Regarding the above, I was also being generous. Grammatical errors aside, I get the feeling that some of this text was rushed out the door; it feels tacked on at best.

I think I read somewhere, Frogboy said he wrote them all himself. I doubt they got more then a 2nd look for editing.

Personally I think they are cute and funny. Kinda like in Diablo II where the programers did the voices for the cow level. They were so bad they were hilarious.

Sorry BoomFrog,
But anything that is so bad ...
Well, IT IS SO BAD ...
and that does NOT equal funny ...
Try again ...

No big deal any way ...
I know what the tech does ...
So the goofy post-tech comment is lost on me ...

I think the tech descriptions are hilarious, espesially space weapions i think itis. Space is dangerous to the extreame, if you go out in it, you will die. If you build a hollow metal ball to wade around in it, you will come across others in their hollow metal balls trying to kill you.

I dunno, a couple are funny, like the higher end missile tech, where all the researchers were breakin' out champeign right before their project blew up... but yeah... they are really rushed.

The ones with funny stories I like, personally. The ones like the above mentioned "self-deprecating" techs, however, do take away from the atmosphere of the game.

I enjoy 'em myself. Not in a class with Shakespeare's comedy, but it's an entertaining change of pace.

And, frankly, it helps to keep the game light-hearted. I guess it's just a stylistic thing.

Who's to say that the media on 26th Century Earth don't have a smart-aleck, tongue-in-cheek style? I mean, really now, if we can suspend disbelief around FTL travel and the proximity of life forms in such a small volume of space...

Would you like me to make a mod that makes serious tech descriptions? I have no problem doing so, as they bother me a bit as well.

This isn't supposed to be a "truely realistic" space empire management simulation game (SPEESIG). Anyway, only the lower-class techs are self deprecating. Ttends to be a bit more sophisticated humor in the upper tiers of the technology tree, and most of the weapons descriptions are actually relatively technical. They do a good job of the sci-fi weapons and technology - part of what makes it so good are the allusions they throw in to some of the most famous sci-fi books/movies. And while a lot of it might seem borrowed from Star Trek, they do a good job of describing the technology it laymen's terms; Disruptor class weapons might seem unplausible and first, but the methods described in its manufacture (specialized crystals that focus energy and whatnot) make the game more believable on a whole.

Besides, its the Galactic News, not the Imperial Center for Science and Research

Meaningless technobabble or meaningless technobabble heavily laced with humor. I prefer the latter in a game. I do tech support all day, when I come home...I've heard just about enough dry and meaningless technobabble for the day. Add some humor if I am to be subjected to it again.

=P

well, as to grammer and so forth...

they will just have to take the bullet on that one

and i DO appreciate the attitude more then the comedic skill. but can you really expect them to hire a comedic genius on their budget? not like they are on an EA budget or anything

The tech descriptions are great. They're funny enough that I quote them to people when I tell them about the game.

The game is totally moddable, Feel free to create your own tech descriptions. Heck, I'll even write the one for shields for you!

"Shields are a direct evolution from Deflectors insofar that they use phased energy pulses to nullify the effects of energy weapons, But now by using the Vincent Quantum-Induction principle we have managed to create a constant cohesive energy field around the hull of a starship."

Good enough? All you need to do is look in the game folders and you should find something like techfiles.xml or something...

Those tech descriptions are great. Get a life.

Kinda like in Diablo II where the programers did the voices for the cow level. They were so bad they were hilarious.

Moo. Moo, moomoomoo, moomoo, moo! Moo, moo. MOOooOO!

Sorry BoomFrog, But anything that is so bad ... Well, IT IS SO BAD ... and that does NOT equal funny ... Try again ...

No...
ACTUALLY...
it is quite funny.
SO THERE...
ok.


I'll admit grammatically that it needs a bit of work, but they're about the only details I haven't changed (changed all the text to add references for my mod) because it's actually damned funny half the time. Perhaps you are incapable of understanding sarcasm?

I find that they add to the charm of the title.

Like it has been said, just edit whatever file has the tech descriptions and go with it. I personally think there are funny, though thats just me. If it came down to rewriting the tech descriptions or fixing up an exploit\bug, I go with exploit\bug.

I think the tech descriptions are hilarious. (I also like how the default ships all have movie quotes as descriptions.) They'd be dumb if you read them every time you played the game, but so would you, for that matter. ... Hmm, the smiley button isn't working for me. Meh, insert wink here. >_<

"Now the aliens working in our factories will actually be aliens. Get it? Oh the wit!"

Edit: Though I am miffed about the descriptions for Subspace Blasters & Annihilators, as they tell me I'm going to be getting good lasers--despite that Blasters are bugged and Annihilators don't even exist. (Insert angry-looking smiley here.)

Well, apparently tastes in humour differ.
That's what it is: the tech descriptions are meant to be humourous.

Comon: "A spokesperson for the Hygerion Technology Center had this to say on the new Miniaturization technology:

"Remember Miniaturization? It was pretty great wasn't it? I mean, with the making things smaller and stuff and junk. Well, Enhanced Miniaturization is like, you know, way way better. The reason it's better is because it's enhanced. This is quite different from regular Miniaturization which is, as we all now know, not enhanced."

` In related news, stock in Hygerion fell 25 points today in heavy trading..."

Personally i think some of those (like previous example) are hilarious.

Those tech descriptions are great. Get a life.

Airtight argument, silpheed.