Sins Forums
The Government put a chip in my brain! The President can hear my thoughts! There's floride in my water!... Actually, that last one is true. Really, is it?
Don't drink the water. They put something in it to make you forget.
I don't even remember how I get here.
Like my dads magic drink on Friday's
Just stick your head in the microwave for 10 or 15 seconds and the chip will be toast.
(so will your brain, but at least you'll stop worrying about everything) 
Now I know I'm not the only one......
Have you received your orders yet? Mine make no sense, "Buy more Harry Potter paraphernalia".
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/Harry-Potter-36cm-Magical-Wand-Replica-New-in-Box_W0QQitemZ270524974459QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Collectables_SciFi_fantasyCollectables_EH?hash=item3efc8b857b
Thank god they put the word "Replica" in the title, I thought I was buying the real thing.
Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?
Vodka, that's what they drink, isn't it? Never water?
On no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not without good reason.
Water, that's what I'm getting at, water. Water is the source of all life. Seven-tenths of this earth's surface is water.
Why, do you realize that seventy percent of you is water?
And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
Are you beginning to understand?
Have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rain water, and only pure-grain alcohol?
Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation. Fluoridation of water?
Well, do you know what it is?
Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face?
Florida in your water? I got Florida on my mind, but not in my water.
Oh, wait, you said Floride. Never mind. 
Drink enough south Floridians you'll be fluent in spanish in no time 
Apparently all I'm supposed to do is worry about bushfires and the welfare of national sports teams...oh but theres some snow thing coming up that I'm supposed to remember stuff about...and interest free...something about that to...
Stop ripping off of red vs blue!!!!!
You are a terrorized member of the
master race, world-wide, four billion eyesight television camera
guinea-pig Communist gangster computer god master race---your living,
thinking, mad, deadly, world-wide Communist gangster computer god
secret overall plan: World-wide living death frankenstein slavery, to
explore and control the entire universe with the endless stairway to
the stars (namely, the man-made inside-out planets, with nucleonic
powered speeds much faster than the speed of light).
Look up and see: The gangster computer god concocted new fake starry
sky! With world-wide, completely controlled, deadly, degenerative
planet atmosphere for the new world-round translucent exotic gaseous
envelope, which the world-wide Communist gangster computer god
manipulates through countless exactly positioned satellites, the new
fake, phony stars in the synthetic sky.
World-wide, systematic, instant plastic surgery butchering murder:
Fake aging so old people are dead or useless by age 70---done at night
to you as a Frankenstein slave, parroting puppet gangster slave.
You wouldn't believe how many people buy the firewall we offer at work because they're scared of the government spying on them.
Yeah, the government would be stopped by a personal firewall.
WTF?
Dude, we get people who say they have someone re-arranging their icons trying to drive them mad.
People are...ugh.
Would be funny if it were true though and just no one believed them.
Help! The Government are SAVING ME! Yea!
-Any *rosy family* modern disaster movie story.
You'd think we'd see more R rated ones.
Meh. I set a riot sheild on fire and it held the government back... either that or it was the garlic bread I had eaten earlier...
The government is giving corperations the rioght to still my artwork and use it as they please!!!!
That aint limited to south Florida. Sadly we'll all be learning how to speak Hatian here real soon too...
And Cuban and Dominican too!
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Right, Florida... I drank over 1,000 people in one glass, YAY!